Ready for Lift-Off

04:00 hours. Or, more accurately, 4:30am. S. and I, in mutually suspicious good moods, shuffle into the icy darkness, ice-cube tray in hand filled with freshly squeezed orange juice from the night before, tea-flasks cradled under our arms.

The car drive was quiet asides from my orange juice cube slurping, and we were both in surprisingly fabulous moods for 5am on a Saturday. It could have been out Philipps Wake-Up light. Could have been the fact we were heading to the Caribbean. Who knows?

The whole process was smooth as was the flight. Picking airlines that have some semblance of ethics and humanity really does make a difference, and even in economy we were pampered with very frequent tea-carts, drinks, and little snacks as well as a main meal - which, to be perfectly honest, was pretty alright.

I was also schooled in not being a judgemental dick when the woman in front of me put her seat back, and I gave Sam the death glare and mouthed the words “what a bitc-“ right before she turned round, exclaimed a little “oh!” and put her seat back up only to turn back around to apologise to me and to say how she was sorry about taking up the little space I had. Like I said: schooled.

After a strong movie selection (Slaughterhouse Rulez, Bad Times at El Royale , KKK- not really a comedy tbh) we landed and were greeted by the blast of hot air and humidity that I was so looking forward to. In minutes my long-sleeved pyjama top was absolutely drenched in sweat and I felt like a small ball of unsophistication as we were taken to the Sandals Airport Lounge and boarded on our little car to the hotel.

So, as I said, I have not done the all-inclusive life before, and I am used to pretty much taking care of myself. This is not possible in a Sandals Resort as the staff is at your side the second you look mildly confused (this happened often with me, I made good friends in my time there). At one point they had to actively explain to S. and I that this service is literally what we were paying for, and that as holiday-makers we should really try and relax. When we tried to make dinner reservations and they were mostly fully booked, and it just wasn’t working out with our plans. All our concierge said was: “I have your calendar on the system. I know the restaurants you want to go to. Just leave it with me.” In under an hour she had found spots for each of the restaurants that were previously fully-booked, and she extended to us a little hand-written calendar of what we had booked for the week. I have never been so amazed and felt so taken care of on holiday ever before. And always so kind, always so friendly. I was very, very happy that evening.

One thing to take into consideration though? Make sure your phones don’t “automatically” update their time to blooming “US” time. This is what happened to us, and after a very needed nap, we dragged ourselves out of bed to make our 20:30 reservations. Turns out? We got there an hour late. This wasn’t an issue as we literally turned right back around and crawled, exhausted, back into bed. Worth saying: check the time with the locals, guys, and remember: your phone is not always right.Read more