Things are closer than they appear

It's late afternoon, dry and dusty. I'd been workin' hard and lookin' forward to playin' hard.

The town of Dodge City laid before me like a bright red apple on a tree, ready for picking. So I headed on down the main drag into town, my eye firmly on the watering holes along the small main street. That main drag, while small, what a place. Lots of saloons, barbershops, drug store & doctors, and even a place call a tonsulorium, whatever that is. The city must love to have the cowpokes come into town, 'cause that dang road, it was one way, straight into town. I guess they don't want those cowboys ta have no fights on the road, causing em to slow down or keep em from reachin' town.

So there I was headed down that one way road, when the sheriff showed up right in front of me. Looking me right in the eyes. Was that Bat Masterson? or Wyatt Earp? Face to face with the baddest lawman in Dodge City. Mano a mano with legend! Dang! Quick as could be, I moved into the next street, figuring that a little sidestepping was better than spending the night in jail. But it turning that corner just made the problem worse. The sheriff followed me.

Here I was, minding my own business, trying to give the good merchants of Dodge City my coins. And why would the marshal want to keep that from happening? Had he heard of my exploits from the last three weeks, from Montana (where I went 80 mph)?, from Wyoming (where I stopped on a bridge to take a picture)? Well, if the good marshal wanted to go man to man with me, then so be it.

Well, having turned the corner and the marshal after me, I noticed that another citizen was in my face as well. What is it about this town? Why can't a good cowpoke just enjoy a nice quiet evening in town, handing over his hard earned currency to the entrepreneurs of the town?

The moment of truth had arrived! I pulled over into the bank pull through exit and stopped. The marshal pulled in behind me with lights flashing. The flashing lights were nothing to the flashing anger and hate in his eyes. At that moment I know, this would be the day when history would be made. The last shoot out in Dodge City!

The marshal got out of his car. I knew that tradition held that I should stay in my car until the end. He approached. I knew, as a saint knows, the perfect moment to make my move...

"Officer, I am so confused. There was a one way street and then suddenly I was facing you. And then turned the corner and I was facing your posse."

The marshal drawled, "Well, there was a one way street, but it turned two way. And everything downtown is two way. You better watch yourself pardner. The roads may be confusin', but that ain't no excuse for cruising through town on the wrong side of the street."

Thus ends the saga of Gordon the Kid.Read more