Where there is Light, there is Shade

From this Saturday the 23rd on there will be total curfew imposed on all regions in KSA. We here in the Al Baha region slipped through the total curfew-net so far, not this time. It will be very strict, going out with permit only for a very restricted time each day (I am not quite sure what the conditions are exactly). My biggest worry are my doggy walks. The boy will go absolutely bonkers if he cannot get out.
For this reason my Saudi friend Aziz, he is the guy who enquired with the police about the travel permit and told me they will help, and his brother came over today to take me out to do a decent grocery shop, as I don’t have a car. He will not be able to come closer to the curfew, due to working commitments.
So we done the shop and then went to my place to sit in the garden together and have a nice conversation as normal people do. Man! Did I enjoy this! Two intelligent people to talk to in English! What Luxury! Whilst we were sitting there Awais, the gardener comes in, behaving very reserved and disappears again. We continue our conversation.
After a while I hear a car pull up outside the gate, Awais is coming back in and motions to Aziz to please come outside. I stay in the garden wondering what was going on, then Aziz’s brother gets up, takes their stuff. I follow him outside. Awais is out there with the brother of the house owner. I just have time to say hello when Aziz and his brother are climbing into their car and Said and Awais are driving off.
What is going on here!! It already dawns on me: the request not to have any visitors has not only been issued for this “Filistin”, my Palestinian neighbour, but apparently to all males.
I am fuming, but nobody to direct my fury to. Again I feel treated like a wayward teenager. This is a situation unthinkable and totally unacceptable for Western women! But that’s exactly the point (I guess): I am not in the West, I am in Saudi Arabia. And the Saudi hospitality extends as well to my protection. Even if I cannot fully understand what I need to be protected from, being a sensible and I think as well sensitive person with well developed instincts, the Saudis might see this differently. I am a single woman unprotected in a fenced in yard, behind high walls, alone with two males. As I have been explained previously: when in trouble, for example if I have murdered somebody (don’t scoff, that’s how it has been explained to me) and somebody is chasing me for that reason, I can go to any house and give myself into the protecting hands of that family. Nobody will be able to touch me, the clan will protect me until the law process takes over. I don’t really know what happens if the person I murdered belongs to that clan as well, but I think this fine detail will not have a lot of relevance to my life here in Saudi.
Therefore: as long as I am guest in this house, I am under the protection of the family. They rather prevent anything from happening to me than needing to throw themselves between me and my attacker.
Now that I had to think this situation through to write this down, I can better understand what happened today and cope a bit better with this disaster. I just can hope my car will be fixed soon, so I can escape this solitary confinement. And can take my life into my own hands once again.
PS: After they left Aziz rang me to apologise. For what I am not sure, they have done absolutely nothing wrong. In my eyes. But he might have a better understanding of the situation than I and perhaps have the knowledge of “having done something wrong” in their cultural context. I will ask next time I see him.
PS, PS: I did not go to Awais for dinner tonight. Had to pay him back, little snitch!!
And another PS to further the understanding: my traveller friend Daniela told me today, and google helped me to confirm,that up to a few years back the "Vice Sqad" controlled the religious observance and morality in the country and immoral behaviour, like a woman being alone with a male she is neither realated with or married to could be arrested and beaten. So I am nearly tempted to be grateful for the encroaching behavior of my hosts.Read more