India

December 2016
A 12-day adventure by Holly
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  • Day 11

    BOARed of Jaipur!

    December 12, 2016 in India ⋅ ☀️ 24 °C

    12/12/16

    Jaipur to Ranthambore

    We got upgraded last night as an error on the hotel website over booked them so we were taken by a free taxi to this amazing hotel (better than the grot box we were expecting at £16)

    Super wifi, clean sheets, hand towels, hot water, air con, TV with ENGLISH films, and a buffet breakfast with omelette, pancakes, parentha, juice the works. So we had a great nights sleep.

    We had a good look round Jaipur and saw city palace, which if I'm honest is a bit underwhelming considering the other stuff we'd seen such as **** ask Noblet I've forgotten its name! It had two giant silver bowls (biggest single piece of silver in the world) taller than Noblet and wider than me!!

    Also a fancy pantsy room with gold everywhere but nothing on UK standards of fancy.

    Ran out of time to see the Amber fort which was a shame!!

    So we got a Tuk Tuk for the second time with an absolutely mental driver who was awful, they are all pretty bad anyway but this guy took the biscuit, he managed to get himself boxes in by a wagon and a central reservation.... Brilliant. However progress has been made on adjusting to this way of driving, where in Kathmandu my heart rate got up to 117 I stayed at a steady 65 so apparently the body is getting used to this craziness. The thing about the Tuk Tuks is that they turn on a sixpence, the drivers know this and use it to squirm through traffic, but every time you feel like the things going to fall over. It's basically a tall reliant robin!

    We had to go and get the train again!!

    This would be more of a challenge than last time as, although we have paid for a ticket, we have no confirmed seat.... As have 250 odd other people.

    The trains work like this

    The choo choo bit at the front

    15 sleeper carriages (holding around 110 people per carriage)

    10 3rd class AC (blankets included with AC) holding around 60 people per carriage

    5 2nd class AC (as above with feet warmers)

    2/3 1st class carriages (food etc included)

    Catering carriage (3)

    Luggage (1/2)

    So these things are MASSIVELY long. It takes around 15 mins to walk the length of one they are huge! Helpfully they label the carriages roughly on lit signage so you know where to stand so it doesn't take ages to get everyone on.... It still does by the way, they're Indians, they do everything except drive and talk at half pace.... Trains are regularly 3 hours late, some of this is because trains are scheduled to stop for two mins per station but it ends up being 5/10 whilst everyone nips off to get a newspaper full of vegetable pakoras with chillies and A child's tea set cup of chai (tea)

    Anyway, we have no seat. We think, sack it we'll go to 3rd class and upgrade (we've been told we can do this by the station master and some wobbly headed local men who are travelling in 3rd) did I mention they wobble their heads to say yes it's very confusing. Noblet has it down but I look like I'm attempting some kind of Shakira shimmy (SHAKIRA SHAKIRA!!)

    We sit in the gantry in 3rd being too British to push our way on and assume someone's seat like these lot. We patiently wait for the conductor to come down... He promptly throws us off and angrily States no upgrading no no no.... Good job he didn't fine us as it would've been an excessive £12 fine! (Or three months in prison). By the way the people who pretended properly to be 3rd and weren't got away with it.... Go hard or go home hoblets FFS #bottlejobs

    So our next issue is the trains about to leave, we are laden with luggage and we have to find a carriage.... We get on the first one we see and as we do the train starts moving, so Indiana jones (in slow mo). We're now in a carriage.... We walk through... Men shouting at us not here not here, find the first people that don't speak English and just sit next to them. When in Rome. We also hung out of the train on this journey, pretty cool .... Oh fuck lamppost !

    Drama.... Not for long as within two hours we're in Ranthambore National Park and what a difference two hours makes.

    No smog!!!! Fresh air!!! Hallelujah!!

    We get off the train and are not hounded by taxi drivers but instead children not asking for money but chocolate.... Mister mister can you give any chocolate and the. About 3 join in! We were like sorry we've not got any!!! They were like ok good night mwah mwah and blowing us kisses. This was the nicest encounter we'd had with kids so far.... Clearly he rural life is better for most as everyone here seems to be well fed, poor but not hungry as they can grow their own food.

    Smashing basic hotel with GREEN GRASS, a bathroom that has no insects residing another Brucey bonus which the team high fives about.

    No beer on the menu so head out to find some Kingfisher Ultra (labelled between 6/12%) not sure on the consistency of the blend but it's handy on the pocket.

    Id spotted a place which said BBQ on the way in so we walked the 5k or so to it not knowing what to expect.

    On the way there are wild boar running around everywhere just in the street... No pigs just boar.... And little boarlets brilliant. There's camels and tractors playing banging tunes on the way home. Bats flying around and monkeys in the trees. Also some good lucking dogs with puppies... I do love this country for its baby animals.

    We also see another example of a massive wedding, must be 2000 people there.

    We get to the restaurant.... Except it's a 36room resort opened in 1890 which our royalty stayed in apparently. It's gorgeous and a five star(8 if possible) 10 acre place with shed loads of wildlife.

    We opt for the BBQ, no one else is there... The guy has us say round a fire pit cushions ultimate comfort ensuing and then puts a documentary about tigers in the Ranthambore national park on for us on a big screen. As its playing he talks us through facts and information its like having a guide on safari!

    Meanwhile our food is being BBQ'd and were blissfully drinking our beloved beer.

    Food arrives and its spot on, best we've eaten since being here. Meat, no salad or carbs just meat. So tender so good! Can't wait to review on trip advisor and give a full 5 (not often that happens lol)

    We leave and wander back to the hotel as we're up at 5am for Safari tomorrow!!!!

    Fingers crossed for tigers!!!

    Man- hotel for the upgrade!

    Donkey- holly for being over confident whilst urinating in the eastern WC on the train and pissing on herself!
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  • Day 12

    Doah ....a deer!

    December 13, 2016 in India ⋅ ⛅ 23 °C

    13/12/16

    Oh dear!

    Safari day @ Ranthambore National Park

    We get picked up at 6.30am to go on our safari. We're in a 6 seater Gypsey which is like a jeep with the top off pretty cool. We've been briefed by the locals that we're not likely to see a tiger or bear so we're not holding our breath, hence why we've booked two safaris (sunrise & sunset) to maximise our chances whilst we're still here!

    There's another English couple which made for some good Banter and then some dullards from far and wide... No exchanges with those oxygen thief's! The driver looks normal and the ranger explains that all Rangers have had to obtain a BSc in wildlife conservation to be part of the 112 strong team. This seemed a good omen that this is a conservation project and not just a large zoo!

    We're straining and straining as we go looking for tigers! Every orange bush or log is potential! Dear, dear, different type of dear, spotted dear, big antlered deer, dead dear, baby dear every type of deer.... Oh we were so lucky! And gutted.... The sun was up and so was our time.... Then Noblet saw it.... An orange behind lighting up a shady hollow, he stops the car and shushes everyone, 'there, there!' We look and get the reply... 'That's a spotted dear' from the guide! Noblet is the butt of the cars jokes from the rest of the trip!

    We're about to turn around when another ranger talks to our ranger, through the language barrier we managed to glean that there was something in some bushes, we whizzed around in the car and raced to the other side of a patch of trees next to a watering hole.... Drive along the road, we u-turn, come back to the ranger, both cars then complete the same drive u turn drive about three times, all the while the Rangers being super alert. Nothing. We stop, definitely out of time.... Then the ranger hears the alarm call of one of the dears, it sounds miles away. The ranger signals, the driver knows what to do and we drive at break neck speed along a dusty road, we drive about 400m and slam on the breaks... And there it is. A MASSIVE TIGER!!! The biggest set of bollocks you've ever seen!!! It was huge. Lumbering along, we were about 20m
    From it and followed it in the car, he didn't give two hoots about us and continued about his business. He stomped past us.... We were expecting a graceful cat but he walked like an umper lumper. The colours on him were so striking and he was like illuminous against the backdrop of the jungle! We had not needed to spend all our time squinting it may as well have been wearing a bright yellow turban with a flashing light on it!!!! Saying 'I'm here come at me!' And no jokes he was massive!!!! Actually massive!!! Probs double the size I was expecting.... The jungle book made sheer khan seen smaller me thinks!!!

    So there we are. A tiger brilliant. Noblet's all smug.... 'I told you we didn't need two safaris' the driver and ranger are very pleased.... And the odd balls in the front may be but we can't tell because they're still wearing medical masks?

    We get back absolutely buzzing, we're late out of the park and the last ones out, it was confirmed we were the only two cars who'd had a sighting! Brilliant!

    Pressure off we head to the shop to get some train tickets from a rep (it is basically impossible to buy train tickets in India so totes worth the 10% extra to avoid hours of hassle.) so we're confirmed as leaving Ranthambore at 10.30pm arriving at Delhi at 4.30am (no accommodation needed winner!) whilst there we're chatting to a guy about our chances of seeing a Sloth Bear (he's been going out for 5 years a couple of times a week and only seen one once) so we write off our hopes of doing a jungle book remake and hope instead for more tiger action!

    Eat at a dodgy hotel in one of the worst States of repair we've seen. Especially as it advertises its self as a luxury resort. Can imagine being very disappointed if we'd have booked here!

    Head back after beers for our second safari covered in citronella.

    This time we're in with our close second LFTs (Canadians) they can be hard work.... Maybe coz a lot are basically French?!

    Head out on the road very chilled out, unlike our companions who hadn't yet seen a tiger and so were very antsy about getting on with the whole thing!

    We start driving going in through an unorthodox route and we thing we've got a bad zone (10 zones and each morning each vehicle is randomly assigned to a zone and this is the only area where you can drive).

    Within 10 minutes we SEE A BLOODY SLOTH BEAR!!! Follow it up the park for like 30 mins as it digs for termites....chills out etc!

    Got to go too exciting!!!

    Back to Delhi on sleeper train!!! Obviously there were cows on the platform... Noblet was thrilled to see one go down the stairs!
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