Arcos, Los

Well that was a long one. The walk and this post!!!! Options were 12 miles or 18 plus. No surprise but Connor wanted to push to Logrono, the 18 mile option. Longest walk yet! Literally dragged myself in the night before on our 15 miler to Los Arcos so i was skeptical about 18. A couple of us sent our packs ahead to lighten the load with the extra distance and some climbs at the end. Definitely helped.

I headed out early. I knew the day was going to be a push for me especially after every other hard day. Connor and i are butting heads only a little but he does not say much to me. I do love seeing him sharing himself with our Camino family but he just has nothing left when we are one on one, go to sleep or wake up. Sometimes i feel very alone. Leaving that particular morning i felt off and very isolated. I was in the middle of nowhere with the clothes on my back, a small fanny pack, a bottle of water and a phone. I think leaving my backpack behind to be sent forward stripped away that last connection to life outside the walk. Got a bit lost, literally and emotionally. Tears for no reason. Finally found the road out of town on the way to Logrono. Put it into high gear. I could make it by 3 if i kept a good pace. Minimal breaks and minimal brakes with no distractions.

After i had already forward my backpack which commits you to a particular town with all my possessions, Connor started the day with foot pain and was limping badly. I found him on a bench along the way likely questioning his life choices. He said go on he would catch up. I tried to keep walking ahead but it is hard to go ahead when i know he was struggling and i worried. He did not want mom hovering over him. But i slowed way down too. Begged for ibuprofin from an unknown pilgrim for Connor and waked back to push him to take it. Lost the early cool hours and had more distance left in the afternoon heat. Ugh. Connor rallied as i knew he would and blew past the old lady. I did enjoy walking with him a bit and having first breakfast along the way together.

Sometimes this experience feels so disconnected from my life. This day to Lograno ran the full spectrum. Alone and adrift, back to the reality of parenting someone who is no longer a child but not yet a fully functional independent adult and loving someone so much that it breaks you to see them hurting physically and struggling emotionally. I can’t fix everything anymore but it is important to me that he knows i wish i could and that i will try my best. I think it is important to him for me to know he can take care of himself and these 2 desires exist together somewhat tumultuously.

The mornings are nice especially if you get an early start and get the miles under your belt before the worst of the heat. I hold up pretty well but dehydration becomes such a factor on shadeless high heat sections. The last 6 miles were full sun, minimal to no shade, hot and hot with no bars or cafes to rest up. It was a push. Reached our beds and crashed. Met friends for snacks and gelato. Lovely Sunday night. The streets in old town were flooded with families, people and kids playing. It was lovey but we only lasted a short time as we both had to lay down.

Taking a rest day. Need to do laundry. Process my existence. Update this app before i forget everything.Read more