Ban Khlong Top

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  • Day26

    Day 25 - Final Hotel Booked, Hallelujah!

    January 4, 2020 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 31 °C

    Another great night’s sleep. We collected our laundry from reception, 2.8 kilos that cost less than £3. It’s cheaper than doing it yourself at home apparently.

    We went directly to my smoothie lady for a healthy smoothie each, which was disaster free, then headed for the beach. We passed the Muay Thai Gym & I espied my ‘Muay Thai Champion Buddy’ having a fag outside in his fight gear! Maybe I could have him after all!!

    Soul Kitchen was open so we plonked ourselves down on their beds, then I stripped off & went for my daily run. Upon my return, we polished off a bottle of water, had a walk, then started on the Chang. Lunch consisted of a prawn salad for Jackie & I, chicken masala on a naan with raita. All lovely.
    During lunch, we booked our final 6 nights at Clean Beach Resort, Hallelujah, which Ying’s husband had recommended to us 1st time round.

    After lunch we walked the full length of the beach again, stopping for another dip in the infinity pool at the half built hotel. We remained outside Soul Kitchen until sunset again, before returning home to discover that paedo & his entourage had gone. Hallelujah.

    That evening we ate at Richey Bar, which was next door Roi Thai/La Marina. We had chicken kebabs & pork ribs from the barbecue with corn 🌽 on the cob & garlic bread. It was decent, but the highlight of the night was seeing that Roi Thai/La Marina was completely empty, not one single customer, just bored waitresses looking slightly bemused. This is amazing because all the other restaurants in the vicinity were full. Maybe I am a social media influencer following my scathing review on TripAdvisor the previous day!

    Song of the Day - Hallelujah BY Leonard Cohen.
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  • Day28

    Day 27 - Pizza Pandemonium

    January 6, 2020 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 29 °C

    After plonking ourselves down in deckchairs at Soul Kitchen, I then went for my customary run along the beach, followed by walks up & down the beach.

    We planned to have a pizza tonight, so we decided to have just a couple of starters for lunch. We ordered Crispy Tofu with Peanut dip & Fried Sweet Potato with Tahini (Sesame Dip). The Crispy Tofu was exceptionally & unexpectedly good.

    The afternoon was spent in our deckchairs right through to sunset, with the usual libations at Happy Hour.

    That evening we went out for our much anticipated pizza at the French Bakery, which gets rave reviews. Outside, Jackie started having second thoughts on whether she wanted pizza, which resulted in us walking up & down the street, before deciding we would have pizza.

    We entered the French Bakery & went to sit at the best positioned table, but the waitress informed us it was reserved. It did have a sign on it to that effect. She ushered us to another, but it was too close to the ovens. It was already a hot night, so we got up & sat at a table on the other side of the restaurant, but decided we didn’t like it because it was near a pool table. SO we got up again & plonked ourselves on a table for six at the front of the restaurant. The waitress who had been monitoring our movements came over & informed us that the table was for 4 or more people. By now I think everyone in the restaurant was aware of our presence & the owner (who had been tending the ovens) stormed over, snatched the reserved sign off our 1st choice table & said we could sit there. He then said something to the waitress that sounded decidedly like he was giving her a rollocking. What a kerfuffle, not the entrance we had in mind!

    Having perused the menu, Jackie came out with the immortal line “Shall we share just one?”
    I was flabbergasted “You are bloody joking, we’ve only had a starter all day”. So that was it, we ordered 2 pizza, a pepperoni for Jackie & a ‘Lanta’ for me.....when in Rome.

    The pizzas came out & were a huge warm disc of doughy loveliness. Jackie spent the next half an hour telling me why we should have shared just the one. It didn’t help that I couldn’t finish all of mine & Jackie ate not much more than half of hers!

    After dinner we took a trip to the 7-11 for some provisions, then returned to our balcony for a game of Cribbage. Jackie won, but only with my assistance!!

    Song of the Day - Pandemonium by Killing Joke.
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  • Day29

    Day 28 - You know You Make Me Wanna.....

    January 7, 2020 in Thailand ⋅ ☀️ 29 °C

    We got up at 9.30am, showered & packed our rucksacks. It was our last night in Paedoville. It wasn’t that bad & in fact I could have stayed on, but Jackie was having none of it.

    After packing, we still had half a bottle of Hong Thong & one can of Coke Zero, so we demolished it for breakfast. Whilst we were doing this on our balcony, a 12 year old paedo victim & simpleton, came over & introduced himself as Adam. He insisted on shaking our hands & telling us about his cut finger. “Jackie grab the bags we are leaving now”.

    We checked out with chubby Alex & told him we were going up the road for a change of scenery. What we really meant was that we were going more upmarket.

    For some reason Jackie had dressed up like Lulu in a short dress, which made backpacking seem ridiculous. So instead it cost us 100 Baht (£2.50), which is actually a lot, to be carried by Tuk Tuk about 400 metres up to Clean Beach Resort. We checked in, but our room wasn’t ready, so we dumped our bags in reception & headed for the beach.

    Jackie was made up with our new accommodation & insisted we had a celebratory Chang at Soul Kitchen. We then walked the entire length of the beach & had a dip in our secret infinity pool. There were a couple of workers, but we didn’t get caught.

    Lunch consisted of Pad Thai & Massaman curry, then we collapsed into our deckchairs for the afternoon. It was the best sunset of our trip so far, so it would have been rude to leave early.

    We finally paid our bill then set off for 7-11 for a bottle of Hong Thong. We returned to our ‘luxury’ abode, got ready & had a quick snifter on our new balcony.

    Next door are a couple of sour Krauts in their 60s who didn’t acknowledge us, even when I said hello. Utter weirdos. He was sat in his swimming trunks & a hat & she came out wrapped in just a small towel.

    We then returned to scene of SpicySpicygate. Funnily enough they remembered us. Jackie ordered mussels - spicy & I had chicken with garlic & peppers, but the star of the show was our side order of Morning Glory. A new favourite. We also ordered corn on the cob, but it arrived after everything else by which time we were full.

    The evening ended with us on our balcony playing Johnny Cash at Glastonbury on the IPad.

    Song of the Day - Shout by Lulu.
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  • Day27

    Day 26 - Spicy? Spicy Spicy

    January 5, 2020 in Thailand ⋅ 🌙 27 °C

    Straight to the beach today & claimed our usual beds outside Soul Kitchen. I then took my usual run along the beach, but now barefooted. My toe is just about healed now.

    Later after a short walk we had an early lunch, Jackie a Tom Yum prawn rice dish & I, chicken & cashew nuts with a naan. Then followed a long walk along the beach, which had become a jellyfish graveyard. Hundreds of round transparent blobs were littering the sand & shallow waters. I embarrassingly screamed when one brushed my foot. It was more embarrassing, when on the return journey, we saw a young girl picking the jellyfish up & throwing them back in the sea!

    We couldn’t have our daily dip in the infinity pool, because there were some builders working there.

    At happy hour, we took full advantage, but this time sat in a couple of deckchairs (like Darby & Joan) until dusk & the restaurants were starting to fill up with early evening diners.

    That night we went to another street shack. Jackie went for Tom Yum Soup with prawns from the bbq, whilst I ordered a chicken curry in coconut milk. The owner asked Jackie “Spicy?”, to which Jackie replied “Spicy Spicy”.

    When her soup arrived, Jackie tucked in and soon her nose was running, her eyes were watering & she was turning a delicate shade of beetroot. The paper napkins were used up within minutes, but apparently it was lovely. The staff were laughing when they came over to check that everything was ok, which included the chef, who wanted to know which idiot ordered it spicy spicy.

    My curry was very nice, but spicier than usual. I think I got tarred with the same brush.

    We returned home so Jackie could be close to a toilet & we sat outside our room with a Hong Thong listening to The Stereophonics on the iPad.

    Song of the Day - This Life Ain’t Easy (But It’s The One That We All Got) by The Stereophonics.
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  • Day20

    Day 19 - Only Bloody Elvis Again

    December 29, 2019 in Thailand ⋅ ☀️ 30 °C

    Today we hired a scooter again for a reconnaissance mission. We asked our lovely lady, Ling, & her husband if they could recommend anywhere around Khlong Nin Beach. They offered up two. One too expensive & hotelly for our taste. The other similar to Lanta Happy Hills.

    Our first stop of the day was Khlong Khong Beach, which Mr Chatty Man from Malina’s Kitchen had tipped us off as the best place to be on New Years Eve. The beach was not much to shout about, but apparently the bars were good. It is 2.5 miles from where we live.

    We then scooted on to Khlong Nin Beach, for another breakfast at the French Bakery. I was all teed up for my own baguette & honey, but apparently we needed to share a ham & Brie baguette. Before which we had driven up & down a few times & identified a few possible places for our next stay.

    We then sat on the beach, which was a bit windy. It didn’t have the vibe we were looking for & we felt slightly deflated. After long walks up & down the long beach we felt that maybe we should consider other options for our final week or so in Thailand. We decided to take an early lunch & reflect.

    Walking back along the beach looking for somewhere for lunch we were instantly drawn to a beach bar/restaurant called Soul Kitchen. It was possibly their speakers blasting out ‘I Don’t Like Mondays’, the decor & seating arrangements or the offer of Indian & Thai food. The music playlist was right up my street from bands such as Nirvana, Leonard Cohen, Tom Petty, The Jam etc etc. But the best bit was the food, Jackie inexplicably had French Fries, but I had a garlic dhal plate consisting of a garlic naan, a pot of dhal & a pot of raita. It was bloody gorgeous, in fact so much so that we did a complete u-turn & booked 5 nights accommodation just up the road whilst still eating our lunch. Just so we could come back every day!

    The afternoon was spent in comfort on a cushioned mat & with a triangular pillow at the front of Soul Kitchen listening to great tunes finished off with cocktails at happy hour.

    After returning home we popped out for dinner for red curry & chicken & cashew nuts. Perfectly pleasant, but we were already fantasising about what we were going to eat at Soul Kitchen.

    After we stopped in 7-11 for some provisions & I espied Elvis in a red suit eating an egg sandwich. I clearly not so discreetly pointed him out to Jackie, because he turned round & said to me “Yes, I’ve just finished a show”. At least he didn’t chase me down the street!! After
    I was kicking myself for not getting a photo, so I sneaked back in to the shop & covertly took a photo of his back.

    Song of the Day - I Don’t Like Mondays by The Boomtown Rats.
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  • Day25

    Day 24 - Beautiful Eyes & Stragglers

    January 3, 2020 in Thailand ⋅ 🌙 28 °C

    Considering everything we had a fantastic sleep, there must be something to be said for velour sheets!

    In bed I started to research for the previous days blog. I ended up on TripAdvisor that offered me the opportunity to write a review for last nights disastrous meal. Below is my review:-

    ‘Awful Dinner & Owner with Bad Attitude
    We have been in Thailand for over a month & this was our worst meal by a mile. The food and drink are overpriced. My wife enquired if the crab dish was still in it’s shell & was told no it was just crab meat in a curry paste. When it arrived it was a small crab still it’s shell & very little meat. The yellow curry was bland with just 3 minuscule pieces of chicken, but lots of chunks of carrot. To top it all, when the bill arrived, they tried to charge us for 2 beers that we didn’t have. The western owner was very dismissive when we explained why the crab was returned virtually untouched & that we had been over charged.. It is no wonder that his restaurant was half empty compared to the other restaurants along the beach’.

    With that off my chest, we headed for the beach only to discover that Soul Kitchen was closed. We had planned to sit on it’s beds all day, so not a good start. Instead, we set up nearby & I went for a run along the beach. Thirty minutes later, I returned gasping for water, so Jackie went to buy a bottle from crazy man at CharleeBarley’s Bar, who gave her a small bottle of water free because he didn’t know how to use the till.

    Recovered, I went off in search of more liquid & found a smoothie bar. The guy in front of me was wearing just a pair of pink Muay Thai shorts. It turned out he was English and comes out to Ko Lanta each winter to train & fight for Nicha Muay Thai Gym. He had had 3 fights & 3 wins by knockout so far this season. He was only 59 kilos, but I wouldn’t be fighting him. Before he left, he kindly let me taste his smoothie which was delicious, so I ordered a couple of the same.

    The Thai lady making the smoothies, made the 1st one & put it down between us, but it was about to topple, so we both went to grab it. I got to it first, but unfortunately I squeezed too hard & a jet of orange smoothie ejaculated from the hole in the top, some landing on me, but the Thai lady’s face & chest were dripping in the orange goo. After apologies all round & a clean up, she made the 2nd & I finally returned to Jackie.

    Due to flying sand we took a bed outside Blue Moon Bar & Restaurant, then had a stroll to the shorter end of the beach, then had lunch back at Blue Moon. We went western, with a club sandwich & a cheeseburger & a couple of beers each. The waiter felt obliged to inform Jackie that she had the most beautiful blue eyes. When the bill came they had omitted 2 beers & to my shame I didn’t correct the mistake.

    After lunch, we walked to the long end of the beach still searching for our next hotel. We wandered in & around a few hotels & played toilet bingo. Jackie was all chuffed with herself about her ‘beautiful eyes’, she thought she was the bees knees until she realised that she had some stragglers poking out of her bikini bottoms!! How embarrassing, a shave would be required this evening.

    Along the beach we found a hotel that was only half built, but had full infinity pools, so we stopped for a little cooling dip, which was quite surreal. After finally getting to the end of the beach, we headed back to Blue Moon. The beach, Klong Nin Beach, is approx 2 kilometres long, so having run & walked it several times, we had definitely burnt off our lunch.

    At Happy Hour, I went & ordered some more drinks & the waiter asked me if I had had other drinks. I slightly offendedly explained that we had, but had paid for them at lunch. He didn’t seem convinced. After sunset, we took a visit to 7-11 to buy some ‘crap’.

    That evening we went to a street restaurant called MaMas Style. Jackie selected a whole squid which they barbecued & served simply with just chilli sauce & a jacket potato. I had Massaman curry. It all beautiful, a thousand times better than the night before. We had a cheeky banana & milk roti on the way home.

    Song of the Day - The Walk by The Cure.
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  • Day29

    Day 29 - Naughty Jellyfish!

    January 7, 2020 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 29 °C

    Breakfast wasn’t much to write home about. The only good things were decent bread & toaster & bananas.

    No running today, but we walked the entire beach twice. The only thing of note was on our walk we were approached by a cockney geezer in his 60s with his missus, who said “Can I rack your brains?”
    “Go ahead”.
    “Those purple jellyfish things, are they really...................................naughty?”
    We didn’t know the answer, but we were able to reassure him that they didn’t sting”.

    Lunch became a discussion point about whether we should have breakfast or lunch, because we can’t have both! I favoured breakfast as it’s free. In the end we shared a satay chicken anyway.

    We stayed on the beach until sunset, then got home showered & went out. After we wandered round & ended up at MaMa’s Style for a couple of very fine Massaman curries. Definitely our favourite dish of the trip.

    Song of the Day - 1952 Vincent Black Lightning by Richard Thompson.
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  • Day31

    Day 30 - Inglorious Morning Glory

    January 9, 2020 in Thailand ⋅ 🌙 29 °C

    How do we manage to wake up at 2.30am & not get back to sleep again?

    We went to breakfast & had toast & bananas. The coffee was still cheap instant rubbish.

    After breakfast we booked our minivan to Krabi Airport for lunchtime on Monday. It was then down the beach & a brisk walk to the end & back to burn breakfast. I couldn’t see anything on the outward journey other than severe suntan lotion sting in my eyes. Drastic action was required & I had to have a sea water eye bath!

    After the walk, I immediately followed it up with a run along the usual route. Lunch was liquid only. After we did the walk for a second time, then abused Happy Hour.

    The big news is that the Roi Thai sign has been taken down & the restaurant is now trading under the La Marina name only. Did I run Roi Thai out of town with my scathing review?

    The beach had been quieter today, probably people starting to go home for work on Monday. So we went to highly reviewed Jai Dee Restaurant, which has always been full when we’ve previously looked. Lo & behold there was a spare table so we grabbed it.

    What a disappointment. The service was slow, bordering on I think they forgot about us, the 2 different chicken dishes looked & tasted the same & the morning glory was flaccid & tasteless.

    It will be back to MaMa’s Style & Spicy Spicy only for the remainder of our stay in Ko Lanta.

    Song of the Day - Morning Glory by Oasis.
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  • Day33

    Day 32 - Pesky Kids Ruined Our Lunch

    January 11, 2020 in Thailand ⋅ ☁️ 27 °C

    The plan today was to have a decent lunch at Soul Kitchen. After discussions, we agreed that we would go to breakfast, but we hardly ate anything. I had two slices of toast & scrambled egg which was apparently too much. Jackie had a mouthful of toast & egg. Still we would appreciate lunch at Soul Kitchen all the more!

    The Irish tinkers were also at breakfast, but had multiplied to four. They really do breed like rabbits!!

    Out we went to lap our last two days of sun. We arrived at Soul Kitchen to discover it was closed, as were half the other bars & restaurants. Luckily it was quiet & we found an acceptable alternative in Otto Restaurant that had identical deckchairs.

    Having apparently eaten too much breakfast, I went straight off for my run on soft sand due to the high tide. Upon returning to Jackie we went straight off for a walk & discovered the source of the restaurant closures.

    It was another ‘Children’s Day’ in a marquee at the end of the beach. Hundreds of parents with their children at what could best be described as a festival / fair / beauty pageant. There were kids everywhere, sprawling out on to the beach & into the sea.

    We tried lunch at Otto’s which is a German Restaurant & serving predominantly western food. We ordered Spring Rolls & some fat chips to accompany our Changs. It was naughty, but nice.

    In the afternoon, Jackie decided to go down to the waters edge & lie on the sand in everyone’s way, whilst I had a siesta under my book. I woke up sometime later to see Jackie’s sarong still at the waters edge, still in everyone’s way, but no sign of her.

    Forty minutes later, she still hadn’t returned & I was considering getting up out of my deckchair to look for her, when she appeared with shiny blue toenails . Apparently she had had a pedicure & her toenails varnished by one of the little ladies.

    As one might expect, the German bar didn’t have a Happy Hour, so we had a sunset drink instead, before going shopping. We bought our last Hong Thong of this trip & a shed load of crisps & nuts, which wouldn’t surprise me if the purchases pushed us into the realms of excess baggage!!

    We hauled our shopping back to the room, only to discover that the maids hadn’t cleaned our room, instead just left loo roll & water outside our door. I blame the kids!

    I later enquired at reception why our room hadn’t been cleaned & allegedly it was due to sickness, more like pulling a ‘sickie’ so they could go to the Children’s Day. I still blame the kids!!

    After getting ready, we sat on the balcony with a Hong Thong & admired the dire dress sense of our Eastern European neighbours - Ill-fitting vests & shorts. We might’ve donated some clothes to them if they weren’t so glum 🙁.

    We went back to Spicy Spicy, which we now know is officially called Lay Lanta Bar & Restaurant. It turned out to be all about Jackie & her spice - spicy spicy 🥵 🌶. She ordered Mussels & a curry fried rice. The owner got so caught up on how spicy Jackie wanted it, that she forgot to ask me what I wanted. I later ordered chicken curry in coconut sauce. All lovely & bloody spicy. We weren’t allowed to have a pudding, unless we shared, so we decided against it, apparently.

    Song of the Day - Saturday’s Kids by The Jam.
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  • Day34

    Day 33 - Are We So Predictable?

    January 12, 2020 in Thailand ⋅ ⛅ 28 °C

    I think we are. We know what we like!

    We got up at the usual time, skipped breakfast, then took up our usual spot on the deckchairs outside Soul Kitchen. I went for my usual run, then went for our usual beach walk.

    Upon returning to Soul Kitchen, I walked towards the bar, when one of the three staff, called out “Big Water”. Exactly what we needed & usually got.

    We had a pre-lunch walk, before walking up into the restaurant, where the staff started giggling & presented us with our usual 2 large Changs. I ordered the Garlic Dhal Set, that won us over on our 1st ever visit & Jackie ordered Tempura Prawns & a naan bread. (She was suffering naan envy!).

    The GDS was as good as the 1st time & Jackie had a mountain of battered prawns so that she could hardly eat any of her naan. I had to assist in that department rendering me unable to order a dessert. The lunch was further washed down with our usual second large Chang.

    The afternoon was more walking, followed by a big water & once Happy Hour arrived, I headed to the bar & was given two small Chang, which we usually order. It was then ‘Same Same’ for two more, then we blindsided them by ordering Mangodaquiri each to end our last day in Khlong Nin Beach.

    We decided our final meal would be at MaMa’s Style, so it came as no surprise to find that it was closed for the night. It was an omen, we were supposed to eat in Soul Kitchen. I ordered Massaman curry for a final time & Jackie last minute chose chicken kebab & chips, which unexpectedly was wrapped in a Naan bread. We ended up having half each. As an unexpected bonus, I was now able to order the mango & sticky rice topped with coconut & sesame. Jackie was only going to have a mouth full, because she doesn’t really like it, but managed to eat half of it, then said we had eaten too much & should skip breakfast.

    We’ll see.

    Song of the Day - Soul Kitchen by The Doors.
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You might also know this place by the following names:

Ban Khlong Top, บ้านคลองโตบ