Sathon

Happy Monday wherever you may be. Wherever we may be is a 32 degrees Bangkok and set for a food tour around Bangrak (which apparently translates as Village of Love which sounds romantic when you're told it's named because there's lots of different cultures but the sub story is that it's where the sailors came to port). After putting on our precautionary bottle of suncream and insect repellent we met our super lovely guide Paeng and a motley international group of greedy people.

First stop was a Chinese-Thai spot for roast duck. I'm so glad we did this tour as even after my fish ball bravery I'm not sure we would have stumbled in to somewhere with whole ducks hanging up and a random kitchen on a cart for fear of immediate and painful dysentery. (FYI status update 22.51 so far no dysentery so it was at least not immediate)

Next up was an Indian-Thai place imaginatively called Muslim Restaurant. Here we're had Massaman curry and beef brains. Yes. Beef brains. In fairness it looked like mince and tasted not far off so my bobby big ballsing saying we'd go for it paid off.

Third stop after a quick boat across the river was a restaurant where we learnt that to get something not spicy you should ask for 'one chilli'. Apparently the papaya salad we got was to that request but the after- burn supports Helen's Theory of Spicy Relativity from yesterday's post.

Stop 3.5 was for deep fried bananas/sweet potatoes/taro from a street vendor. Tasty. Stop 4 was the Panlee bakery where we had delicious pandans buns (shout out to my girls who'll get why that excited me) and iced Thai tea.

The final stop was for Thai green curry and coconut milk ice cream. By this point I was full to bursting, pleased with my choice of elasticated waist trousers and glad it was the last stop. We said bye to Paeng and rolled back to the hostel.

Quick power nap and out for a massage at Orchid Massage and Spa. Neither Matt nor I have really had a massage before let alone a scary Thai one. They had a couples deal where you're both done in the same room at the same time so at least we could be confused together about the teeny black pants. Are they definitely pants?! Should we put the robe on?! Do we lie down?! Is this all a scam?! (Yes, no, yes, no). I don't recall having anyone standing on me before so that was weird, I also have really ticklish feet and knees which was awkward but all in all my review is painful but worked.

Last stop of the day was to Terminal 21, a nearby shopping centre where every floor is themed like a different country, including the toilets. The London tube one was particular excellent but definite highlight was the electronic toilets throughout which had a heated seat, 'shower mode' and a bum drier function. Want. One. We grabbed a quick beer on the way home in a decidedly dodgy joint where we quietly commentated on the evening of a Western man with two giggling Thai girls. Maybe it was just a lovely friendship.Read more