Male, unisex or just not observingJune 27, 2017 in the United Kingdom
Ok so I have discovered a pattern this past week in my movements. When it comes time to release the last pint of Cornish Ale, I inadvertently find myself in a small room that smells distinctly Iike a 400 year old horse stable with what looks like individual feed troughs for the horses.
Now to be fair, some of the places I have stayed have in fact had 400 year old horse stables attached, but as far as I know none of them come with porcelain seating.
I am now begging the question why this has happened to be the case all week. If my memory serves me correctly, England does provide the standard labelling of ladies, (with triangular skirt shape at the bottom) and mens (with straight legs) and this is the same convention that was taken to the colonies all those years ago. I know this stuff. I was so young when I learned it, I don't remember the lesson.
Yesterday I was in Port Isaac. They were filming Doc Martin (sadly Martin Clunes was not in the scene filmed yesterday) I had stood there for at least an hour waiting for my glimpse of Martin and it was post the world's worst Cafe Americano when nature called. So I darted down the cobblestoned laneway to the public amenities with 20 pence firmly in hand. I dropped the 20p dutifully in the box and pressed the giant green OPEN button. On the other side of the heavy iron door were two horse troughs and one cubicle. Realising the errors of my ways I rifled through my bag for another 20p coin and darted up to the next door. On it was the ambiguous sight I am sure we have all be faced with, the wheelchair sign. There was no one around and as luck would have it the disabled facilities were free so I went in there to contemplate how I missed the sign, but happy to have achieved the desired outcome.
Tonight I have checked into my Britstop for the night. The polite lady behind the bar has told me I have access to facilities all night and they are out in the courtyard. So only a few moments ago I decided to head out and familiarise myself with where I could find these things in the late night or early morning. Familiar is the key here. Again I find the equine version of the facilities! This time, I took the private room, did my business and hoped I wouldn't pass any of the horses on the way out.
As for the girls in the triangular skirts. I haven't seen them yet, but sure as hell know I need to locate them before I wander aimlessly into the stables of the opposite gender in the morning.
Giddy up.Read more