Brambach

None of our team will forget those first few days on the Elbe Bike Path, when we were riding in heatwave conditions and into the mouth of a ferocious headwind. What a difference a few days makes.

When we headed out of the hotel in Magdeburg this morning, the conditions were as close to perfect as we could ever wish for. Not only was the air sweet and cool, there was also the Holy Grail of cycling - a lovely tail wind.

After a few initial complications in finding our way out of the city, we were soon coasting along a succession of quiet bike paths. The cycling was effortless and just so much fun.

Every extended ride has its Queen Stage. This is the day when we cover the longest distance. Depending on which reference we used, today's distance was supposed to be between 70 and 80 km. By the time you add in a few detours and diversions, we had no idea what the final tally would be.

There is a principal on these rides that, when coffee shops are in such short supply, it is best never to ride past one when you do see it. That is how we found ourselves sitting at a lovely Italian cafe with only 18 km ridden. I decided to order an iced chocolate and cake, mainly because it seemed like a good idea at the time. A few minutes later I was sitting in front of the most decadent chocolate creation I had ever seen. It took all my stamina and discipline to completely consume it.

After another 30 or so kilometres we found a wonderful cafe, almost hidden from the passing traffic. It had a wonderful, flower lined courtyard that made the place really special. The schnitzel that I ordered was pretty good too. Little did I know at that time, that it would be only meal I would get for the rest of the day.

The final 10 km into Dessau were along a somewhat neglected bike path, and our initial impressions of the city left a lot to be desired. It certainly was nothing like the beautiful approach into Magdeberg that we had enjoyed so much just 24 hours earlier.

We followed a rather confusing and circuitous route to the Dormero Hotel, which was to be our home for the next two nights. When I finally managed to find my room, I discovered that none of the lights in the bathroom were working. I had to call for assistance and wait while a man with a hammer and a ladder made a lot of noise and eventually announced that it was fixed.

I looked forward to a luxurious shower, but found that the soap dispenser was empty. This was not leaving a good first impression at all. But the worst was yet to come.

We had been told that we were booked in for dinner at 7 pm, however we arrived to find that the restaurant was completely full of raucous Germans, all busily finishing off the remains of the buffet. When I asked the young guy at the desk where we were supposed to eat, he directed us into a seminar room, complete with dirty chairs and tables, and nothing else.

It got even worse when we went in search of food, There was nothing left. Only cold soup, and a few scraps of salad, No hot food, no dessert, nothing, nada, zilch. I tried to complain to the inept young man at the desk that this was not what we paid for. I would have had a more intelligent conversation talking to a door knob. He just had no idea. Eventually he offered that we could have two free drinks, instead of dinner. Hardly a fair replacement, especially when the guy behind the bar explained that the hotel does not serve ice with any drinks. They must be consumed luke warm.

Thus we sat on the dirty chairs, looking at the miserable empty space on our plates. In all honesty I had never seen anything like this. It would have been funny if it wasn't so tragic. We were all very hungry after riding 78 km, and this was not how we expected the day to end.

I thought that maybe I could at least finish my nonexistent meal with a cup of coffee. Guess what ? I was told that the coffee machine had been turned off, and it was still only 7.30pm.

Faced with impending starvation, a group went out to buy some pizza. They shouldn't have had to, but there was no other option. I took the receipt and handed it to the incompetent behind the desk, and explained that we expected the hotel to pay the bill. He stared at me with an open mouth. I am a patient man, but it does have limits.

Tomorrow morning I will be speaking to the hotel manager, and maybe I will be able to explain how a decent hotel should be run. This place will certainly stick in our minds for all the wrong reasons. To me it operated like an asylum for the criminally incompetent, rather than anything resembling a quality hotel.Read more