Funemployment - Part II

While I was en route to Vang Vieng, Nate, Liz, Kit, and Emily informed me they planned to go tubing on the Nam Song River that afternoon. I was a tiny bit surprised that they - all flashpackers in their 30s - would want to do this.

A little background might be in order here. Tubing the Nam Song is one of the legendary activities on this part of the Banana Pancake Trail. It involves floating 3.5km down the river on a tractor inner tube, and stopping at various bars along the way for alcohol and other forms of debauchery. One journalist famously described the scene as “what the world would look like if teenagers were in charge”, or words to that effect. As an added benefit, the scenery is beautiful. This activity has been cleaned up since 2012, when a spate of backpacker deaths led the government to close down most of the bars save four. They also banned the sale of other substances. Anyway, I was up for tubing just to see what the fuss was about.

My friends confirmed their plans with me while I wolfed down my sandwich. I then headed back to my guesthouse to grab some stuff I would need, and then rejoined them. After eating, we walked towards the tubing shop, pausing to buy supplies (dry bags, whiskey, coca cola) en route. When we reached the tubing shop, we paid for the tube rental and also a deposit, signed a waiver, and then piled into a sawngthaew for the short ride to the start point. We walked into the cool water, and made our way across the river to the first bar which was a short ways downstream. I couldn’t quite make it across the river in such a short span, so I grabbed on to a rope a bar employee tossed at me. At this bar, we had some drinks, played some drinking games, and listened to some music (there wasn’t much space to dance). Apart from drinks, I noted that balloons containing laughing gas were also available for sale. We saw one naked guy at that bar. We then got back in and floated to the second bar.

The second bar was open air and we sat there and drank some more. There was more space to dance here. Macarena seems to be a language everyone speaks, as well as Despacito, and House of Pain. And Beyoncé. It was a lot of fun. We saw another naked guy at this stop and began to wonder if this was a trend.

It took a while to get to the third bar. Along the way, a bunch of English speakers floated together and played a silly game. At the third bar, we downed a big bucket and had more silly time. Macarena played again. We didn’t see any penises at this bar. Along the way, the karst landscape was just beautiful. We also saw plenty of abandoned structures where the old bars used to be before they were shut down.

Not long after we got into our tubes to get to the last bar, we saw a sign that said 2km to the end. Crap! It was already past 5pm and we would get back in the dark and potentially lose part of our deposits (per the rental agreement, the refund amount reduces at 6pm and no refund is given after 8pm). We floated along as fast as we could. At sunset, a couple of hot air balloons passed over us. We also saw lanterns floating up into the sky - apparently there was a lantern festival going on. The fourth bar was close to the end, and there was a misleading sign that said “end tubing”; turned out it was at the bar. We had gotten separated by then. Three of us got out at the bar, and the other two went on to the real end point a little farther down. The sun had set by then and we trudged back to the shop in the dark. Mercifully, they gave us our full deposits back.

After the float, I went back to my guesthouse to change because my sandals had come apart. The rest of the group went to a nearby hostel for free whiskey shots. I joined them after changing and showering. We drank some more, and then stumbled out for food at a place called Space Bar. Space Bar's menu had a few rambling and confusing pages about drugs - on the one hand, they claimed that drugs were illegal, but then they also claimed to be a safe space to consume. I was confused by all this.

It was well past 9.30pm by the time we finished eating. We called it a night and went back to our guesthouses.

So, how did I feel about this activity now that I have done it? I won’t lie. This was one of the most fun days I have had traveling. I was relieved that none of the bars appeared to be within sight of the local villages, as some of the behavior on display would be considered offensive in any culture. It’s more likely that the locals give these bars a wide berth, and it is sad they have to do this in their own hometown. I cannot imagine what it must have been like for them to see this scene explode a decade ago. They seem to have pushed back; apart from the government crackdown, there are also signs at the tubing rental places illustrating acceptable behavior and attire. For their sakes, I am glad it has been cleaned up. I have, in other blog entries, bemoaned the impact of mass tourism. Well, sometimes independent budget travel has ill effects too.

Yes, it is stupid to mix alcohol and rivers. Don’t try this at home, kids. But, for a few wonderful hours, I got to behave like a twenty-something again, and it was fantastic.

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