Deep dive into self!

It was quite the adventure being plunged into solitude and self-exploration. Also rather freeing in a way, to be rid of all external stimuli and influencing factors. Not knowing the people around me and so being free to ignore their existence and just concentrate on myself.

I was confronted with solitude, pain (both physical and emotional), sticking to the meditation schedule despite aches in different body parts, while being led by the reading/study I was doing. Sleeping on a hard floor seemed like the mercy at the end of the day.

While sitting I learnt to sit with the pain, develop discipline, renunciation and perseverance while at the same time being very kind, gentle and soft with myself. Remembering the basic fact that I had nothing to prove to anyone and that this is a purely individualistic experience. You are alone, and there is no one to prove yourself to and no one to save you either. As buddhism keeps reminding you, you are alone. You are born alone and die alone, and all in between are experiences of coming across what is not desirable and not being able to hold onto what is desirable.

I explored the theory and practice of the four types of mindfulness, vipashyana awareness, glimpses of emptiness, sharpening of perception, dealing with renunciation, etc. All keeping in mind the basic facts of impermanence, egolessness and suffering.

Particularly impactful was the in depth exploration of The Four Noble Truths, both in theory and in practice.
1. The truth of suffering
2. The origin of suffering
3. Cessation of suffering
4. The path

I delved deep into my suffering while reading about all the types of suffering there is in life, according to buddhism. Karma was also quite the topic.

All of this brough immense mental peace and quiet. I found myself doing everything at a very calm pace, while being very appreciative of my surroundings and the people around me. I was much less reactive and so much more permissive.

All in all ... quite the experience...!Read more