Malta

I'm sitting on the terrace at 5am, aware that the alarm is relentlessly ticking towards 05.45 and getting moving time. It's peaceful out here, just me and my coffee. I can't believe our eight days are done...

The taxi arrives at 07.45. We've booked a bit early to hopefully miss the worst of the rush hour traffic. We don't. It is appalling, nothing's moving faster than a slow crawl. The taxi driver turns around a couple of times but 20 minutes after we leave we are sitting on the road directly across the harbour from our apartment, which would take a maximum of three minutes to walk... Eventually, using his knowledge of all the back doubles, we break free and the last few miles to the airport are easy going.

It shouldn't have been as difficult as it was getting through the gate. The sole member of staff somehow took 25 minutes to process 5 people in wheelchairs, plus carers, through the final boarding pass and passport check, having already called all us Speedy Boarders forward at the same time, which meant everyone else was milling around too, trying to be first after us so it was a total fiasco. Subsequently, boarding was half an hour late but we made good time and a speedy whirl through Gatwick got us homeward bound on a train by 14.20.Læs mere