Is she 50? Jess she is!

Welcome to the Pyrenees, people! ⛰️

This is indeed it, the last day of our walking trip. And it started with a crazy dream I had (have you ever been the villain in your dreams? Because this was a first for me). It was a fairly chill start, we weren’t too worried about running late.

RooPaul’s bakery was open for the last time, and you know that the marketing was a success: the words “When is the bakery open!” Could be heard being shouted down the hallway by mum.

Did she mean it in a mean way? As in, get your act together and speed up? Or was she really just excited at the prospect of a sandwich?

The thing about marketing is that context doesn’t matter if you put it in a positive light. Gosh I’m good at this. I should quit my degree and do this full time.

For the last time, we got ready: choosing outfits, spraying suncream, makeup for some (aka dad of course), and shoes.

Here’s the thing. I did not have socks on at this time. And I couldn’t be bothered to go and get socks. So, when I saw my walking sandals, I obviously did not hesitate to put them on.

Mum was not happy about this. Alas, she only noticed when I was already walking and it was too late.

Anyway.

We drove along, the winding roads comforting in a sense, as if our time spent walking the mountains had created a sense of connection, like we had become one with the nature, like we knew these roads -

Oh wait, that’s because we were going to the same place we went to on the first day.

My bad guys!

We had decided we were going to do the walk we wanted to do on the first day, but *not* go the wrong way this time. Since it was the tallest mountain we could see from our place, and fairly iconic, we figured it would be remiss to not give a try to this bad boy.

So there we were, same parking space, four whole days older but feeling like it was a brand new trail.

It was actually quite funny, but the sisters and I weren’t paying attention and so we just followed the main path even as dad was going off. I was sort of aware that we were supposed to veer to the left but idk, I just didn’t? And then we hear mum behind us go “oi! I got photo proof! We are *not* missing the trail again!”

Sheepishly, one by one, defending ourselves and claiming that “of c o u r s e we were *going* to turn, just in a second”.

Obviously mum did not believe us.

This mountain is basically a bully guys. I kid you not, I don’t recall ever going up so steep an incline. And on loose scraggly rocks and piles of leaves covering the path, affording little grip. Especially if you are a sorry fool who is wearing walking sandals and not walking shoes. Because if you are that sorry fool, not only are you going to be slipping and sliding on this steep incline, but also you are going to get your feet covered in dust.

Or so they tell me, anyway.

The walk was really bad, guys. Tate was crashing out. I wondered at many a moment if she were going to make it out alive, or if we would have to bury our youngest somewhere in the woods. She was so far behind, and she was walking with Allegra, and we would stop periodically to wait for them, but mum and dad, far ahead, would call at us to stop being “wieners” and to hurry up. And so we would move on again, in three groups of two, split up.

In a desperate attempt to not, you know, just drop dead, Lily and I distracted ourselves by playing six degrees of Kevin Bacon. It was quite fun, we would challenge each other, but the Marvel connection made it too easy, so we eventually cut out the Marvel angle. However we didn’t actually know that many movies with Kevin Bacon in them, so even after asking dad we were fairly limited and it got a little repetitive.

Here’s how you know Tate was doing bad: she refused walker’s chocolate. I know. Scandal, shock horror, has she been replaced??

I however did not. Walker’s chocolate for life.

After this break, we switched to six degrees to Timothee Chalamet, since he has been in enough things to avoid as much repetition, but also still a little bit of a tough one to get to.

Eventually, we made it into what I’d like to call part two of the walk, unimaginative as I am. We exited the shaded forest and the wide scrabbly paths, and entered twinkle town (twink valley part 3). Aka a gorgeous silent green valley, the sun shining down, the only sound being the birdsong. There was a small hut there with a sign saying that hikers were welcome to stay the night, so Lily and I decided to take a look inside.

I think it’s fair to say haunted house. Photos enclosed.

It was just a freaky house with a table and a fireplace, one murky window, a couple of moth-eaten mattresses, and the days that people had stayed written, and, fault of a pen, *scratched* onto the wall.

I do not recommend staying the night there.

So we didn’t. Not that we were ever going to, but we didn’t anyway.

We continued on our walk, and we could see the top that we were going to and honestly could not comprehend how we were around halfway because it looked like it was miles and miles away. The walk changed quite a bit; it was a very thin path through a forest for some of it, but straight up the plain fields for the most part. SHade was scarce and we were hungry, and Lily and I were so desperate that we switched to Drew Barrymore from Timothee Chalamet, which was a rookie mistake because you think “ah, yes, she has a long career” but no, no, it’s much much harder than you might think.

Especially when Lily gave me Charlize Theron, who I have seen in exactly one (1) movie, so that was a true struggle and I did make it but it took me much longer than 6 degrees, but i was too hungry and too hot to care. Genuinely, I challenge you to try to get from Charlize to Drew, it’s nigh impossible (for me, an uncultured swine).

Mum and I eventually agreed that we were simply walking out of intrigue because it did not look like the winding path we were on was going anywhere near the top… but obviously it eventually did. Still, for a while, we were fairly perplexed.

We managed to find a small circle of about three trees just off the path where we could have some shade as we sat down for a tasty lunch. Sadly, it was on dirt and not grass, and I was not afforded the privilege of sitting on the rug (or rig, as Lily might say). The twins hastened to watch the Kpop video that had come out while we walked.

You know we’ve crashed out when at lunch, Lily asked dad “how far is the top of the mountain?” And dad says “well, time-wise i don’t know”, and I said, “Timewise? Well what about Samwise?” As in Samwise Gamgee from Lord of the Rings. Lily and I burst into laughter.

Why do they let me write these things?

We set off once more, top in view, sure it was closer than it actually was.

It wasn’t.

Eventually we made it to the ridge of the mountain range, where we could see an absolutely stunning view. The sun was warm but the wind was strong enough that it wasn’t too hot, just perfectly peaceful. We could see mountains covered in snow on one side, and the flat ground on the other. It was truly as close to heaven as I can imagine.

And there was no one around! So my sisters and I just lay down for ten minutes in the soft grass, it was really some of the best grass I have ever seen.

But we weren’t quite at the top.

We wanted to go to the very peak we could see from the airbnb, meaning we still had perhaps ten minutes. But the twins, who, despite being reinvigorated through lunch and absolutely racing up the mountain, did not want to go any further. Instead, they wanted to nap.

Literally. They wanted to sleep on the mountain.

So mum and dad went “eh, ok”, and so only four of us made the final trek up to the top of a mountain. Let’s just say, the joke of the “Alpine Orphan” just kept on giving.

The top was quite spectacular. There was a rock pile, and some had things written on them, and the view was spectacular. Lily and dad didn’t like it so much the drop was quite sharp, but they did appreciate it from a sitting down position.

One of the rocks had the names “Wes and Cindy” written on it. Dad wondered aloud if perhaps Cindy had been a victim of an Alpine divorce (I told you, it kept on giving). And when we noticed the quantity of flies that congregated around the rock pile, it was possible, we speculated, that there might indeed be a body in there.

No matter; we took a selfie anyway.

After contemplating the smallness of the world and the fleetingness of life when compared to the eternity of mountains, we did realise we had to head back down and collect our youngest children/sisters.

But they looked so peaceful in the grass, that after me and Lily frolicked down to them (trust me it was a frolicking trail, to walk would be simply criminal), we were obliged to join them. They were listening to some kpop of course, but it wasn’t hyper, so it fit the vibe.

Mum and dad lay down too, and for perhaps 20 minutes we just sunbathed peacefully, no shoes just feet in the grass.

It was nice.

But like all good things, it had to come to an end, and dad was saying it was time to go (and also have a photo), so we did just that, took a family selfie. I made the ultimate sacrifice of posting the one on the blog where I look less good, as opposed to the one where I look good but others weren’t ready. I hope you appreciate this.

And soon enough, we were walking down.

It was much nicer, at least for me. The temperature was pretty nice while we were still up high, and there isn’t the same burn in the legs when you’re going down, despite a certain strain to the knees, and the “front thighs” as Mum calls them, a term Lily hates.

Paths were a thing of the past for Tate, who walked just straight down the mountain instead of following the gently winding, much less vertical trail. She was sure that it crossed back to a close point, since it zig-zagged, but that was just an illusion, and she had to walk quite some time through the long grass, again, I must stress this, again, near vertically.

But the path did cross back eventually, and we fell into the same old formations when going back down: the three sisters, and me with mum and dad. The three sisters listened to Kpop as they walked, whereas Mum, dad and I did not.

Shocker.

And I saw two deer, a mum and a baby, running through a field!

Although we did eventually all rejoin a few times, once where Allegra slid in a very sudden but also cool manner, her leg just went forward but the other one just bent, and so she crouched in a black widow slash spiderman style pose. Very nonchalantly, she saved the situation, and said “just taking a crouch” with a sort of shrug. We laughed at her coolness and continued on.

Mere moments later, I’m saying “that was very funny tho-” And bam, at that moment I slip, but I do not catch myself in the smooth way Allegra did.

Dad laughed at me :(

It was, apart from that, a very “long and boring walk” according to my detailed notes.

Once we got back to the murder hut - sorry, the hiker's hut - we sat down for a small while, and I contemplated the birds singing. I even tried to film it for the blog, the utter peace and quiet, but then of course at that moment dad announced that it was time to move on. This included a lot of shouting and also a chorus of complaints.

Complaints so strong that dad simply said “I’ll meet you at the bottom”, and the four of us stayed there. I made a daisy chain while I waited for the sisters to get up. Eventually, Dad could be heard calling through the trees, and we had to get up.

Some harrowing things happened on that walk. Things so dark that I have been forbidden from transcribing them here, on a public forum. Twas a tale that began with inspiring determination, a strong will to overcome, but it swiftly twisted into a lesson teaching us all that sometimes, in some cases, no matter how much you want something, no matter how much you strive for success, and no matter the effort you put in, sometimes your destiny is, simply, sadly, to fail. You have to make sacrifices - your dignity, your self respect - but you do learn, in those empty, godless moments, alone in the woods, a new truth. A new understanding of yourself. And you know that these sacrifices were necessary for you to be able to look yourself in the eye in the mirror everyday.

It was certainly an interesting time though.

After it all, laughter.

I found myself walking past everyone and being with Tate in the front. Formations were a thing of the past on this last walk; Allegra was with Lily in the back, Dad was somewhere between us, and Mum was the caboose. After a small while of companionable but, on my part, tense silence, I asked Tate if she often walks in silence.

“Yep”.

Strong answer there Tate. So I felt this need to justify myself and seem really nonchalant and cool (because the curse of a middle child is desperately wanting to be validated by your older siblings and also your younger siblings, whom are both cooler than you just for different reasons) so I just rambled on about how I wanted to be sure that this wasn’t awkward, since I didn’t mind the silence, not at all, but I was worried that she did… it was all very weird, I was like fumbling my words.

And then I got an answer to an ancient mystery.

“With Allegra I just walk in silence”.

I was like, what?? We thought that you tell each other everything on these walks? Conversation for days!

But apparently, on the way up, she spoke to Allegra once, and it was to say “I feel sick”.

Is she leading me astray or is this a surprising truth?

We don’t know.

After what felt like an eternity, we finally, finally made it down to the bottom. The sight of the car was almost too good to be true, but it wasn’t! With great joy, we hopped into the car and drove off, navigating the rocky road for the last time.

We stopped in the little village for supplies and ice cream, blueberry cheesecake flavour. This gave us the perfect opportunity to imitate the hilarious “gooseberry and cinnamon yoghurt” sketch that Mum and I love. The ice cream was a life saver in that car. It was damn hot.

At home for the last time, we hurried to hop in the pool and then the jacuzzi, to rest our aching legs because that mountain climb was truly brutal. The rest was welcome. At one point it was just me and my sisters in the jacuzzi, all four of us, which was nice. But soon enough, it was time for dinner, or should I say brinner? Or should I say, brinner dawgggg (from Scrubs)?

After the tasty last dinner, we did hop back in the jacuzzi briefly, before having our very first of the new tradition: Chick Flick Tuesday (pronounced choo-sday for the alliteration), a tradition where every Tuesday we watch a different superhero movie of course! Yay for catering to the male gaze :)

No I’m kidding, of course we watch a different chick flick every tuesday just because it’s such a girlhood thing and I fully believe that Chick Flicks just get a bad rap because they are aimed at women, even though I recognise that they also hold many sexist undertones because, well, we live in the society we live in. However, we do love them and so me and Lily decided we would watch one every Tuesday to expand our culture, and Mum was very happy to get in on this.

And today was the first.

We toyed with a few ideas, mentions of Notting Hill and the like thrown around, before we settled on the perfect First Chickflick: Legally Blonde.

10/10, as good as we remember, very funny, we loved it!!

And there you have it, folks. Somehow, we made it. Running late, procrastination, and I still have to write the first day.

But here we are. At the end of the day (and the trip), feet aching but hearts warm.

See you soon!Read more