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  • Day56

    Fat bike foolishness

    November 5, 2017 in Canada ⋅ ⛅ -21 °C

    I bought this beautiful fat bike, had it shipped up with all my personal belongings, and finally got around to putting on its fat bike rack and panniers. They were awesome. Can carry a cat or 40 lbs of groceries! I was stoked to take her out on her inaugural spin.

    I failed, however, to account for the effects of -11 F (-24C) weather on, well, everything. My lungs, the bike, my legs, the lock.

    Tooling around outside the house was so fun. The sound the fat tires make on the packed snow is really neat and I like it. I got excited so I set off for the store and to buy a jigsaw puzzle I saw on the internet. It was gonna be great! Did I mention that I am currently incubating some Arctic microbe in my chest? Yep, it's giving me a sweet cough and tight chest so far while draining my energy. Super fun...and best time to go for a bike ride in extreme cold.

    Halfway to the store I realized that I could no longer change gears because they'd frozen. The end. That's the gear I'm gonna be in. I get to the store. A little tired but manageable. Go to lock the bike up. The cable lock? Completely frozen. Like a rock. Better anchor than lock. Hmmm...well, that's a waste.

    I grab my store things and start heading out to find my puzzle person. As I've mentioned before, there are no road signs or names and so it's just the house number that you look for. However, the house numbers may or may not make sense. Newer areas of development will have similar numbers, but those new developments may be interspersed in older developments. Thus, the numbers can be all jumbled.

    It also turns out that the store is slightly downhill from home. Hmmm.....things just got a lot more exerting. I know exerting shouldn't be used in a sentence like that, but I wanted to because that's what happened....everything got more 'exerting'. I thought I was going to pass out. My already tight chest was squeezed by the huffing and puffing of the crazy cold air and my legs were fighting against my pants and snowpants and giant rubber boots as I wobbled up the hills. Oooooh, it burned. Everything. I finally got to my street and realized that the puzzle person literally lived in the house next to mine. I realized I'd ridden up town and then around town to find this house and it was next door to mine the whole time. I am not bright on so many levels.

    Kids complimented my bike as I inched by, barely staying vertical. I wheezed, "It's way too hard. Not worth it! Walk!!" I had to take a break before I could haul this thing up the stairs to my house where I wheeled it in and promptly laid prone to recover.

    I went and got the puzzle later. I think that's a better idea for my Igloolik activities...almost positive I won't pass out while puzzling.
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