It’s all Greek to me

We welcome you with open arms, G.O.A.T.s of Mount Olympus.

I am cackling maniacally! I am connecting my fingers under my chin!! I am spinning my chair around slowly, stroking a black cat!! Menacing music is playing!!!

I wonder if this is how Taylor Swift feels.

Did I fool anyone? Seriously, did I?

As if I would end my last post like that! Please. I am no amateur! Let’s go over the facts.

I told you I would put things in my final post, that I didn’t put. Hint One.

I put an excessive amount of 2s in the final paragraphs. I spelt “to” with 2 Os, on purpose. Hint 2.

And I put ✌🏻 instead of “peace” for “peace right out”, and there are two exclamation points in cheeeeese!! (Makes you think, did she plan this since the very beginning??). Hint 3!!

Oh, also TTPD is an album in two parts, making this proof of the TTPD theme in today’s blog.

So welcome to the Anthology! Posted two hours later, much like in Taylor’s album releasing.

Also known as, the secret second part of my last blog entry.

“But Ruby, oh wise one, what will you put”, you ask? “You have already done your ingeniously named Greecap!”

Well, thank you, dear reader, for the compliment, and also, YOU SILLY FOOL.

I will tell you about what I want! Like that hilarious time when Allegra and I were sitting in the car listening to Sabrina Carpenter (who we will see in concert!!) and I said “this is my favourite song in that album!” And she said, “I couldn’t pick a favourite, but I could pick a least favourite”, and I said, “yeah? Which one?” Already knowing, and she confirmed by saying, “the one about forks” and I said, “aghh I hate that song!” Because really it’s terrible, and, I can’t make this up, but the previous song had come to an end, and we hear Sabrina say, “You used a fork once…” and we YELLED in reaction to this because it was so funny and the comedic timing of the universe can not be beaten.

Oh, also, I said I was going to elaborate! So, here you go!

Some are self-explanatory, such as: Beaches, boats, laughs, pools, walks, restaurants, jokes, arguments, dresses, transitions, sea sickness, injuries, taylor swift, olympics, rizzing, sharing pancakes, snorkels, and lie-ins.

So.

Alfredo is self-explanatory now, but he is the rock that could have killed me and also my kindred spirit.

Marriage proposals. I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this? But I keep proposing to Tate. She always says no. Weird.

True Loves. Well, sometimes there are people who are good looking, so we say they are our true loves. Which leads us to…

Norwegians. Allegra’s true love was from a Norwegian family, she also took a picture of him and he is the lock-screen in her (now broken) phone.

Broken phones. The back of mine is smashed (and no-one knows how, I didn’t drop it, and it has gotten worse without me touching it, so a bit worrying) and Allegra’s got in the water.

Turds. I call people turds. Mum hates it. Simple.

Penguins. It is just because of our transition. Which leads us to…

Ratatouille. In our Penguins transition, Lily looks like the food critic in Ratatouille.

Butt naked and riding the waves. Worry not, no one was doing this, it was just something funny that Olivia said when she saw a guy in his boat speed by, and I think he was wearing skin coloured swimmers? I am unsure, and Olivia is upstairs, so wayyy too far for me to go ask her. Sorry!

Alps. I really don’t remember. I think someone said something about the alps while I was writing that part of the blog. Hey weirdly I just got massive deja vu about a dream, I think. I was writing a blog like this and when I finished it was like, the apocalypse?? I thought you should know. That was really weird. Anyway.

Seven stitches. Tate scratched herself on a fence, and told everyone that she got seven stitches for it. She actually got none. It was a tinyyy cut.

Goblin runs! A favourite of mine. We stayed somewhere with a mezzanine bedroom, too small to fully stand in, so we had to sort of duck as we walked. Tate mentioned that she ran like a goblin making plans and holding treasure, so naturally we all ran like that (out-turned feet, raised knees, hands clasped in front of you, head bowed. It caused problems late at night.)

Nighttime pics! I will explain later hehe.

K dramas! Olivia explains them in great detail, leading to hilarious quotes such as “Say it to my face, sonny boy” or “he had to go deal with 9/11”.

Ginger cousins. Everytime we see a ginger, we say, “look! It’s your cousin/sister/brother…” to Allegra. It is hilarious. Really timeless comedy.

Patronisers and Condescenders. This is dad. I said this to him once, but he is not men, he is man, and took offence.

Sublime. I think you know? Our “winner takes it all” remake turned perfume add at Steve’s suggestion.

Gaslighting. This is a goood one! The twins and I convinced dad that the green-ish melon we were eating was actually orange. He was perplexed and began to slowly doubt his eyesight, leading to a hilarious moment where he picked up the plate and held it under the light, desperately saying, “it’s green! I know it must be!”. The twins and I laughed a lot.

Teasing. In a similar vein, dad was being teased (i don’t remember what about, probably a pronunciation) and he said sulkily, “stop teasing meeee”. The twins and I laughed.

Swiftopoly. My plans for the eras tour monopoly began!

Middle part old money. We people watched at restaurants and decided if they had the old money aesthetic, or not. Mostly, they didn’t but there were a few (such as Allegra’s Norwegian true love).

Name King. A book at a place we stayed, we said like one says, “go off, king!” And it was very funny. It turned out that it was actually called “In the Name of the King” which was a sad discovery.

Losing bets. Dad lost a bet against me, explained in…

Lights as churches. We saw lights in the distance, and he was adamant, and I mean adamant that it was a church window. I said, “it’s a streetlight” so naturally we had to look. It was, in fact, a streetlight, and Dad is now a fool.

Potato sack prince’s coats. In an amazing dream I had, this prince offered me his coat and it was actually a potato sack. I cannot stress enough how much I do not understand why the prince was wearing a potato sack?? But there you go.

2 litres of blood. In the same amazing dream, the punishment for thievery in the kingdom was that two litres of blood were drawn from you. This woke me up since I was accused of thievery, and they began to draw blood. I hate needles. I am still mad about this, since that was near the beginning if the story that could have happened, and also, I am perplexed. Why two litres of blood? What do they do with it??? I’ll never learn.

Insane asylum dreams. The following night, I had an equally good dream, in which I was put in an insane asylum by Mum, for not doing sport, and I uncovered a secret: the asylum was killing the kids. No one believed me since I was in an asylum. It was an awesome dream though.

Sugar lip competitions. It was in fact explained in a previous blog, but once again I will reiterate that I won.

Sea urchins. Tate got stung by one and it was hilarious, she sped through the water screaming “I’m gonna die! I’m actually going to die!” She did not, in fact, die.

Tough crowd. I said this once when no one laughed at my joke, and Allegra found this to be the height of comedy and now says it every time people don’t laugh at her. Which is a lot 😉.

Where’s the sound? I think I explained this one, but Allegra was doing really badly at her part in the transition, and exaggerated so much that it was hilarious.

No ice cream: until Lily came, we never really had ice cream, and it was shocking. We always get ice cream! It’s like our thing! Luckily, the ice cream consumption went up exponentially once our fallen comrade arrived.

Endless running. From when the winner took it all.

National anthems. I may have said this before, but this was a dialogue had at one point:

Mum: soon enough you’ll be a climate change denier!
Ruby (hilariously): what’s wrong with the climate?
Mum: and a right wing supporter!!
Allegra: *to the tune of the national anthem* Donald Trump our gracious president!

It was quite hilarious. Mum didn’t see the funny side.

Finally, Who put that wave there? I am in the habit of saying “who put that _____ there?” When I hit something (examples include: who put that wall there, who put that table there…). I was treading water and a wave smacked me in the face, so I said, “who put that wave there?” And Olivia had apparently never heard me say this before, and died of laughter.

And there you go!

Expect for nighttime pics. Well, every night we spent in Greece, Olivia and I waited until Allegra was asleep to take a picture with her. It was about the best part of every day, and absolutely hilarious. This is what our secret club is for. Yes you get some pics!!

And now, this is actually it. For real.

“How can I be sure?” You ask.

Well, I’m out of albums. So you know.

I feel myself obliged to look back and think about my writing. It started as a joke, and then I took a break, and then I returned and was objectively hilarious and then angry and then I made it about Taylor Swift.

It was a voyage comparable to the one I took to Greece. I suppose art imitated life accidentally. How cool!!

And now, for the actual last time, an honorary mention. See I had an idea for the last honorary mention, but I’ve forgotten it. Guess I have to improvise!!

Honorary mention goes to the people who read my blog! As a wise person once said, this is all for you and because of you.

I will conclude this blog in the way that Taylor Swift concludes TTPD.

“The only thing that’s left is the manuscript. One last souvenir from my trip to your shores… Now and then I reread the manuscript. But the story isn’t mine anymore.”

Peace right out.

Cheeeeese!!Read more