Curiosity, Healing & Adventure

A 10-day introduction to Buddhism retreat gave to the opportunity to stay at Kopan Monastery. It was an amazing experience. The retreat was the most diverse group I have ever been a part of. And, after following the death of Lama Zopa Rinpoche over a year ago. I was able to see and pray in the room where his body is held. Best of all, we were around the monks that ranged from 5 years and up.

There was a pack of resident dogs, all looking like black labradors except the father who looked like Marley, a Rottweiler I adopted in my early 20's. I have held a guilt for Marley as I was not mature enough to give her the lufe she deserved. She also grew so large that she never left our yard because she overpowered us. I created a story that he was Marley reincarnated, a theme prevalent on the retreat, and was living a free and loving life.

*Some photos were shared by a professional photographer.

If you are interested in my spiritual growth reflections, read on.

I began my (Mahayana/FPMT/Galupa) Buddhism learning at Land of Medicine Buddha and Vajrapani in 2012. I was enamored by the kindness I experienced with Tibetan Buddhists. I attended retreats until 2014. In Arizona, I went to Kagyu Busdhism retreats.
I did a residency in Arizona, I went to Kagyu Center in New Zealand in 2019.

I attribute my release of anger and resentment to the teachings, as it emphasizes loving kindness, compassion, and altruism. Despite my participation and interest, it did not teach me to meditate or offer tools for self-awareness.

It was a secular teacher who taught me meditation and mindfulness techniques and guidance. It was metaphysical ideologies that helped me reprogram my thought patterns and finally manage my reoccurring depression and move past limiting beliefs.

After years of spiritual practice, retreats, and healings, I still felt a lack in my life and didn't have any place where I felt a true belonging.

So when my beloved pet Sheila passed away in May 2021, I made my healing and spirituality my sole priority. Since then, I have primarily lived at retreat centers or in nature. That brought Theravada/Insight Meditation into my life.

As I immersed myself in retreat environments, it was suggested that I devote myself to one practice. Luckily, the teachings Sayadaw U Tejaniya and the skill and wisdom of Andrea Fella and other teachers in that style broke through my resistance and showed me the path to being with and accepting myself wholly. My mind has never been more peaceful even when I feel difficult emotions and challenges.

My recent retreats in Asia, and with primarily beginners, allowed me to see how much of the dharma I have absorbed. I considered myself a novice because many of my dharma friends are further along the path. With this new perspective, I returned to gratitude to my many teachers and my intermediate knowledge.

My takeaways were:
1. The Tibetan devotional training and practice are not my cup of tea.
2. I have an aversion to object awareness meditation.
3. I still don't like walking meditation.
4. I have an aversion when Buddhist teachings emphasize suffering, death, and hindrances. I get it already.
4. Renunciation has helped me live healthier and simpler.
5. I don't think I will ever be exclusive to one spiritual practice. I love my spiritual potpourri.
6. Buddhists in Asia teach in hopes of achieving nirvana in this lifetime. I didn't get that impression in the US.
7. I am grateful for my karmic lessons that made my spiritual path undeniable... and for the courage and abundance to go all in.Okumaya devam et