A sad moment, I am leaving for Germany

I am leaving our trip "Gypsies on the move" and returning to Germany.
Why?
For years, I have wanted to walk the "Pacific Crest Trail" from Mexico, along the Sierra Nevada, to Canada.
It never worked out.
Either I missed the auction for getting a starting slot, or covid came along, or I couldn't get a visa in time.
This year, in January, I again took part in the auction for starting slots, sitting in our Sprinti at 1am in the morning (because the auction happens on the US West coast) and never believed I would succeed.
Fate thought differently, and I was awarded a starting slot for 12th.May to walk 6 months to Canada. A visa also exists.
Suddenly, I had to make a choice.
I am 65 and don't know how long I will still be able to do such a demanding hike, and it is one of the projects on my list of projects before I die.
I decided to do it and give myself one month to prepare everything. I need to lose weight, get fit, and prepare things so I can be away for 6 months and will be flying back to Germany from Tabuk today.
My heart is torn. I am ending the trip of a lifetime with Margot, I will not experience the rest of Saudi Arabia, Jordan, and the return through Irak and Turkey. And I have no idea what is awaiting me, only a calling I have been hearing for years.
Seeing Margot drive out of the parking lot at the airport, corageously confronting months of driving alone , tore my heart in two, and I am far from feeling any excitement in connection with what is ahead of me.
Far more, it is sadness and confusion about whether I took the right decision and worry concerning Margot.

As I fly over Saudi Arabia, I imagine seeing her in sitting Sprinti, down there in the desert, without her companion of 6 months. Being able to share the experiences.
How sad.Read more