Solvitur Ambulando

The last couple of days have illustrated for me that this over-used phrase is well applied to the Camino - walking along through rural Spain is the perfect place to make a decision. The other truism, this one from the world of dementia caregivers, is that I live in a land of bad choices.

As I was leaving Vitoria two days ago, early in the morning, I learned that Joe had another incident and was back in the ER. They were waiting on results, and so I decided to keep on walking. As the results came in that everything checked out normal, I started to contemplate my choices. This was second trip to the ER since I’ve been here, and though I don’t feel he’s in imminent danger, I started to think that I should go home. I had a deep sense that I was not going to be able to put this behind me and carry on happily.

The one thing really complicating the decision was that my son and one of his sons are coming to Spain on Sunday, the idea being that we would be together and walk on the Camino for a few days. Pulling out of that at the last minute was one of the saddest things I’ve ever done. But I just knew that I couldn’t keep on here, I have to go home.

Yesterday I walked a short stage of about 20 K, wrestling with the decision the whole way. Pros and cons, risks and rewards, costs and benefits. No matter how I thought about staying, I just couldn’t get to a place that felt comfortable. When I talked to David this morning, I made it final. I walked today into a bigger town, Miranda De Ebro. I had a few hours so I took a walk around to see the Ebro River, the Romanesque church, and the site of a huge concentration camp for Republican prisoners during the Civil War. It was later used as a prison camp for Allied soldiers captured in France, and then later after the war, for German prisoners, apparently . The barracks have all been destroyed, but there are a few bits and pieces left. I thought it was a nice juxtaposition that all the land around the old site is now used for schools, and there were lots of happy, noisy children running all around.

I am now on a train to Madrid.

My head is kind of swirling, I’ve got a plane ticket for Friday, and I think this is the first time I’ve ever stopped walking without having already hatched an idea for my next Camino.Weiterlesen