Florida Bishes.

Thursday, roller coaster day. We had promises of rain all day, so Chloe and I sat in the car, sending out optimistic vibes as we went on the way to one of the most extortionately expensive theme parks I have ever been to.

The day started well, although the queues to get searched shaped like a human funnel, hundreds of tiny monsters (children) clamouring to get in. Seriously. They were all around. Each group in a different neon-coloured t-shirt uniform, blinding me, everywhere I looked. It was overwhelming.

Once we got into the park, things weren’t so bad. The tiny humans spread out, the sun was out, and we ambled in the direction of the action-plan Adam and I (not gonna lie, mainly Adam) had mapped out the night before. It was all going swimmingly, up until, twenty minutes onto our first ride they announced that the ride was, in fact, out of service. We trudged out of the queue, were gifted with a fast pass as compensation, and questioned our next move.

“The Popeye rapids!”
“Great idea!”
“Ah, shit, there’s a 45 minute wait. It must be everyone from the Ripsaw Falls ride. Should we try something else?”
“Guys, I just want to get on a ride. I JUST WANT TO GET ON A RIDE!”

I might not have yelled that last part, or even said it out loud, but man, was I itching to get on something, anything, before we hit the two-hour mark since walking into the park.

Things took a turn for the better though. With Adam’s guidance, as well as Sam’s app with all the ride times, we decided to rush over to Jurassic Park. I was very excited about this one, because dinosaur are mint (let’s get this ball rolling, Chloe) and T-Rex’s are so absolutely sweet, and Jurassic Park is honestly one of the best movies of all time. We then ran back to Ripsaw Falls, and then off to Popeye, all-in-all with a total waiting time of no more than 45 minutes collectively. It was an excellent job. And we ended up absolutely, completely and undoubtedly drenched through, all the way to our lingerie.

Chloe’s outfit, albeit beautiful, turned out a little see-through when wet. So as we were waiting in line for a blast of hot air from the body-dryers, I heard a roll of thunder. I looked up, and saw the looming threat of a thunderstorm creeping nearer and nearer. We had had a good run, but it was here. Chubby Rain.

I urged Sam, begged him, we needed to go to the Hulk ride immediately, it was going to shut, the storm was coming.

As we ran (Sam ran, I kind of sprinted and then devolved into a limping Igor) the rain started hitting the ground. Deceptive, at first. A soft rain, the kind that doesn’t seem to bad until you realise the reason your clothes are sticking to your body is that they’re soaked through.

We shoved our stuff in a free locker, and sped onto the ride.

“Guys, just so you know, the ride is shut temporarily due to the weather.”

As we stood there, devastated, as gigantic drops of gigantic rain flooding the floors, pouring onto us, dripping off our water-proof jackets, over our hoods. We knew. We had got here too late.

All was not lost, however. We met the other guys for a very expensive and very unsatisfying meal, but it did us for the rest of the day. The skies cleared, and we managed to have a pleasant stroll through Harry Potter’s Wizarding World rather pleasantly. We took the Hogwarts Express all the way back to London, where Universal had made Diagonal Alley so realistic that as soon as we stepped onto Platform 9¾ in London, the skies opened once more and the rain fell. But still! Not to worry. With Butterbeer in hand, and a little stroll under cover (Diagonal Alley is well prepared for this kind of weather) we passed the time in sugar-filled contentment, and ventured out once the skies had cleared a little.

The Simpsons next, a wonderfully set-up area which made you feel as if we’d stepped into Springfield, gained an unhealthy yellow skin-tone, and lost a finger. Then, sensing another down-pour, Sam, Adam and I rushed to Rip-Ride, the only big roller-coaster we would get to go on on this day. Because after harrowingly waiting in line, anxiety peaking as the announcements about the “incoming storm” grew more frequent, we got on, had a fantastic ride, saw the photographs… And the skies finally crumbled for good, the rain incessant all the way up until 21:00 that evening.

All in all, although at times frustrating, it was a positive experience to visit a theme park with intermittent thunderstorms. It cleared out the park through the day, to the point where after Rip-Ride we managed to go on Transformers, and twice on the Mummy, with a total waiting time of about ten minutes. Yes, it was a little lame to have been unable to dry-out properly after the water rides. And yes, it did suck a little more for those who didn’t have heavy duty water-proofs. And I was the only one with enough of a phobia of wet-feet that came in sandals and managed to avoid the soggy squelch of a drenched trainer.

However, we had a great time. We were altogether, laughed a lot, panicked a little about the rain, and then had fantastic and completely indulgent desserts on the way back to the car-park. It was a good day.Read more