Two worlds

Overthinking the goal or purpose of (your) life can make you feel lost. At least, that is what I felt. Fearful. Lost in a big world of which you are only a really small part. But by getting lost you can find a connection deep down inside you, which makes you feel part of the universe. Actually not just part of it, you can feel that you ARE the universe. It's all inside you. It does sounds cheesy, I know, but for me this is all that counts. Connection. With the world inside you and by that, with the world around you.
The goal we are taught from a very young age is to get educated. Science is the truth. Get a certificate and work. Work to earn money. Work to buy a house. Work because that is what we have to do. Work is the purpose of life? To me the word work has a negative vibe around it. It gives me stress. Because we should be the best, fastest, most special, most efficient. But does that make me happy? No. At the same time I know that this developing world, the western world brought us some good things. Because of the technological inventions, I can now type this story in my smartphone. Because of the constructional inventions I am now sitting on the second floor of my house. Because of inventions I don't even have a clue how it works, I am able to live a life with ease. I can buy my food in the supermarket, can take a shower with flowing water falling down on my skin, I can ride my bicycle on paved roads with traffic lights. Lights, I can use a switch to put on the lights in my room. I don't need to search for wood and create my own fire to have light and warmth. So, the world we're living in amazes me. Sometimes it's hard to imagine that all of this is invented and made by us, humans. I am not saying it is good or bad. I can see both sides. The only thing I'm saying, is that I feel that it's good to take moments to stop and be thankful for everything there is. Appreciate. But also take time to realise that there is more than just work and earn money. Think out of the box.
I just saw the instagram of a travelling couple and got lost in the amazing pictures. I felt jealous. How cool would it be to just explore the world in a van?! But then I reminded myself that the world of exploring isn't like heaven. It can be hard. Challenging. Not only the travelling itself, but also the judgement of others. Because they keep reminding you how important it is to find a job. Use your diploma from university. Don't spill it.
That, for me, is not easy. I feel caught between two worlds. One world in which I have to find a job. Find a proper job that I like and at the same time makes me earn enough money. The other world is the world of exploring and travelling. Both worlds are pulling me in different directions and I am searching to find a way to mix them up. Combine them.
The realisation that I can do what I want feels freeing at the same time. In all those years of studying it felt like I was living the life I had to live. No actually I didn't even think about it like that. I just went with the flow, so time passed without me even noticing. And now, after graduating, there is this space for me to breath. Breath and have a moment to stand still. Find balance between the two worlds.
Let's see what life will bring me. The good thing is that it is all open. A new chapter with blank pages to be filled. Scary, but oh so exciting at the same time!Read more