Egyptian men, and women…

Today is our last day in Hurghada and we are just relaxing today in the sun, on the rooftop terrace of our accommodations. We are presently sitting/lying on an outdoor ‘bed’ with a canopy and have a great view of the city and the Red Sea. And a little time to think various thoughts about life in Egypt.

The other night, we went into a little shop so I could buy a light Egyptian cotton tunic top. I went into the shop after asking a lot of shop owners what their tops may cost. I knew that the price stated is always too high and you have to spend time, and probably have a cup of tea, before coming to a price that I was willing to pay. Chris came in too.

I found a top that I liked while Chris tried orange flavoured tobacco in a water pipe (shisha) and mint tea was made for me. I was pretty well ignored and interrupted when I asked questions while Chris was treated like royalty. Egyptian men respect other men. Women? Not so much. The male shopkeeper (they all are) kept asking Chris which blouse he would pick for me as if I didn’t have a choice. Chris said that it was my choice. After this, Chris asked him a few good questions about the role of the wife. Apparently, the man makes all the choices for a woman. Including giving permission to use the bathroom!

“Traditional gendered roles view the man as a "pro-creator, a protector, and a provider," and the woman as "pretty and polite but not too aggressive, not too outspoken and not too smart.” Oh, oh. I’d be in trouble if I lived here.

So what conclusions have I come up with regarding the average traditional Egyptian male and the way he treats women?

There seems to be a need to control. Some Egyptian men (not guides or people working with tourists) take it upon themselves to control a woman's life totally. Everything from what she wears, to who she talks to and what she does for a living is controlled by a man throughout a woman's entire life. First, the father, then the brother or another significant male family member and then a husband.

So then I wondered, why is it that a woman is controlled in this country from the day she is born till the day she dies? For some men, it is the perception that women are an "accessible source of shame" and therefore, her thoughts, her feelings, her movement and every other part of her existence must be controlled until she is married off. Once the woman is married, the cycle restarts and its the husband's turn to dictate how she lives her life.

So, who would want to live like that? I read that “The inability to admit wrongdoing in any relationship is disastrous because one member is made to feel like their feelings don't really matter to the other person in the relationship. If this is a continuous act, the other person is eventually made to feel that they really don't matter. Confidence and self respect will go out the window resulting in a never ending cycle of settling down for less than what they deserve.” Let that sink in …

I read that Egyptian men are unable to admit when they do something wrong because they fear that by admitting it, they become less and therefore equal to women. This all stems from the fact that men are given a higher importance from the day they are born. Unfortunately, this is evident in many Egyptian families and can even be seen in a brother and sister relationship and in a mother and son relationship. Boys can do what they to.

Now, regarding the Egyptian man's tendency to interrupt women. Who knows why they do this but if a women demands that the man listen to her, he starts to talk louder and louder and won’t let you put a word in. Control. As soon as Chris intervened, the man respectfully listened to him.

I took it all with a grain of salt but feel sorry for the women who live with these types of men.

By the way, I did a great job of bringing down the price of the tunic. It only took me about 45 minutes of haggling, followed by a handshake. To me, it is all a fun game.Read more