Pai Part I: Going Through it

Normally I don’t write about a place until I leave, but I am feeling very safe here and want to give an update since so much is changing within me. I will stay as long as I need to, I am in no rush to be anywhere as I make a safe home within myself.

I feel incredibly connected to nature, to the universe, and to myself. I’ve got my spark back and my magic is unfolding in ways I didn’t know it could. Sometimes it takes great disappointments to unleash true change- and I am grateful for my path, and for this new chapter, which is also so synchronised with the moon and the nature around me.

The day before yesterday I reached the peak of emotion, characterised by firey anger, deep hurt, betrayal, an absolute broken sense of trust..and the ground beneath me began to shake. It was day 13 (my number!!) after the phone call that sparked this emotional turmoil happened, and exactly 13 tremors quaked the earth in Pai. I could not help but feel I was an integral part of this natural phenomenon.

The following morning was New Moon, a chance to start from scratch, and now that I had felt all of my feelings, they began to subside. I began to shift my focus and set concrete intentions. The emotions are still there, but are fading, and as I sink into a deep sense of love towards myself, I’m beginning to make peace with what was. The pangs of heartbreak still make me clench my chest, but the pauses between are moments of peace and they are lengthening.

Father Time, I know you are the only cure. I’m praying to all my ancestors and to Mama Moon to continue to grant me patience as a walk my path. 💜もっと詳しく