EGPF - Glasgow Airport, Scotland, GB

World Heritage Sites Air Adventures: Whisky, Whiskey, Whales, and Gophers
Aircraft: de Havilland Canada DHC-5 Buffalo "Pipi" (N8086K)
Guest Co-Pilot: Robert Carlyle

– “The Caerbannog Circuit”
Date: Wednesday, June 11, 2025
Weather: Scottish drizzle, with a forecast of flying cows and the odd French taunt

This episode is proudly sponsored by:
“Sir Robin’s Modestly Brave Strip & Snack Emporium™”
Home of Courageous Cuisine and Daring Disrobing!
Whether you’re running away from killer rabbits, storming castles in your underpants, or just fancy a cheeky nibble after a hard day’s quest, Sir Robin’s has you covered (or uncovered, as the case may be).
Try our signature “Full Monty Meat Pie”—guaranteed to make you drop everything for seconds!
And don’t miss the “Minstrels’ Bottomless Buffet”—where the only thing more endless than the food is the embarrassment.

Sir Robin’s: “Because sometimes, the bravest thing you can do is take it all off and have a snack.”

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Flight Plan
• Route: Edinburgh (EGPH) → Terrain landing at Caerbannog Cave (Tomnadashan Mine, 56.5140N/-4.1279W) → Terrain landing at Castle Aaaargh (Castle Stalker, 56.571533N/-5.386232W) → Castle Anthrax (Doune Castle, 56.1852N/4.503W) → Bannockburn → World Heritage Site: New Lanark → Cumbernauld (EGPG) → World Heritage Site: Antonine Wall → Overfly 55°51'59"N/4°14'37"W → Arrival Glasgow (EGPF)
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Narrative Log Entry
Oi, it’s Gaz here—yeah, that Gaz, scribbling in the logbook with a pen I nicked from a Glasgow noodle shop. If you’re reading this, you’re either part of the crew or lost in the archives looking for the Holy Grail. Good luck with that—last bloke who tried ended up at Castle Aaaargh and he’s still arguing with a Frenchman about the airspeed velocity of an unladen swallow.

Edinburgh Departure – The Quest Begins
We launched from Edinburgh, engines roaring like Sir Lancelot after a double espresso. The city’s still buzzing after the Book Festival, and the local news is all smiles—school leavers smashing it, air cleaner than a monk’s laundry. Spirits high, we set course for the wilds of Scotland, where the map’s got more castles than a chessboard after a bar brawl.

Caerbannog Cave – Wheels Down in Rabbit Country
First stop: Caerbannog Cave, infamous for the Beast that guards the Holy Grail. Not a legend, mind—ask any local, they’ll tell you about the tourists who went in for a selfie and came out minus a camera, a shoe, and their dignity. This time, instead of just buzzing the place, we brought “Pipi” in for a proper terrain landing, right in the open field near the cave—just as she was built to do.

We were greeted by none other than Tim the Enchanter himself (or at least a local with a wild beard and a pointy hat), who gave us the classic warning:
“There are some who call me... Tim.
You seek the Cave of Caerbannog?

Inside, there lurks a creature so foul, so cruel, that no man yet has fought with it and lived! Bones of full fifty men lie strewn about its lair. So brave knights, if you do doubt your courage or your strength, come no further, for death awaits you all with nasty, big, pointy teeth!”

Lani and Kai, our canine crew, were undeterred. Kai, with his Australian Search & Rescue nose, picked up the scent of something suspiciously fluffy and faintly of Irn-Bru. Lani, tactical as ever from her Malay SF days, took point. The rest of us, being of sound mind and questionable bravery, kept a safe distance and prepared for the worst.

Sure enough, as the tension peaked, Lani signaled, Kai dashed, and together they snatched the legendary Rabbit’s foot—just as the Beast’s shadow loomed. That’s when Cropduster gave the order: “Run away!” And run we did, in full Holy Grail style, legs flailing, coconuts clopping, and the sound of AC/DC blasting from the cockpit as we scrambled back to “Pipi” and took off before the killer bunny could claim another victim.

Castle Aaaargh – Boots on the Ground
From Caerbannog, we hopped back in “Pipi” and pointed her west for a proper field landing at Castle Aaaargh—that’s Castle Stalker to the locals, at 56.571533N, -5.386232W. Perched on its own wee island in Loch Laich, shrouded in mist, it looks every bit the legendary stronghold you’d expect from a place holding the last clue to the Grail. We found a patch of open ground, dropped in smooth as you like, and trekked out for a closer look.

Lani and Kai hit their mysterious buttons—this time, a blast of coconut clopping and a distant “Ni!” echoed across the loch. I nearly dropped my flask. Cropduster led the way, and if there was a sign reading “Castle Aaaargh,” it must’ve blown away in the last storm. Legend says the last person to shout the castle’s name three times in a row got a faceful of herring and a lifetime ban from the local chippy.

Castle Anthrax – The Perilous Rescue
Next, a daring flyover of Castle Anthrax, standing proud in the mist. Locals say it’s Doune Castle, but don’t be fooled: this is the real deal, home to the maidens who’ll nurse you back to health, whether you need it or not. Two of our support crew got “captured” (voluntarily, I might add), and it was up to me and Cropduster to stage a rescue. Sir Lancelot himself judged our efforts, though he seemed more interested in the catering.

I tried distracting the maidens with my Full Monty routine—shirt off, hat on, socks… well, best not to mention the socks. Cropduster went full gallant knight, while Lani and Kai pressed their buttons again, setting off a foghorn and a disco ball. We escaped with the crew, our dignity mostly intact, and a new appreciation for the dangers of “peril.”

Bannockburn, New Lanark, and the Antonine Wall – History at 1,000 Feet
We soared over Bannockburn, where Robert the Bruce gave the English a right good seeing-to. You can still hear the echoes of battle—or maybe that’s just the sound system in “Pipi” rattling loose. Onward to New Lanark, a World Heritage Site where social reformers built a utopia with cotton mills and common sense. We waved at the ghosts of millworkers and pressed on to the Antonine Wall, Rome’s last stand before the Scots convinced them to pack up and head home for tea.

Support Crew Antics and the Gopher Tank Invasion
Meanwhile, on the ground, Tyrell “Slip” Grisi and Fiona “Ferret” McDougall tried to drive the EM-50ex “man cave” across a field, only to get bogged down in what locals call “the squelch.” They bartered a lift from a farmer in exchange for a crate of Irn-Bru and a lesson in how to pronounce “Edinburgh.” The Gopher Tank staged a mock Roman invasion along the Wall, cardboard helmets and all—Julius Caesar would’ve wept.
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World Heritage Site Highlights
• New Lanark: An 18th-century mill village that’s all about social reform and industrial innovation. Robert Owen’s vision made it a beacon for workers’ rights and education—makes you think what a bit of dignity and fair pay can do for a place.
• Antonine Wall: Rome’s boldest push into Caledonia. You can still see the turf ramparts and ditches—a reminder that even empires have to call it quits sometimes.
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Collectible
• Rabbit’s Foot of the Beast of Caerbannog Cave:
Thanks to Kai’s scent skills and Lani’s tactical training, we nabbed the (suspiciously plush) rabbit’s foot and lived to tell the tale, sprinting back to “Pipi” in classic “run away!” fashion.
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Challenge of the Day
Rescue at Castle Anthrax:
Two of our support crew got “captured” by the “maidens” of Castle Anthrax. The challenge: extract them without succumbing to “peril.” Sir Lancelot judged our efforts. I tried my old Full Monty routine as a distraction—worked a treat, though I’m not sure the locals will ever recover.
Outcome:
• Cropduster: “Bravest in the Face of Temptation.”
• Gaz: “Most Likely to Cause a Scene.”
• Lani and Kai: “Best Use of Mysterious Buttons” (triggered a foghorn and a disco light show).
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Music & Food
• Song of the Day: “It’s a Long Way to the Top (If You Wanna Rock ’n’ Roll)” – AC/DC
(A nod to the Young brothers’ Glasgow roots and Bon Scott’s Scottish heritage—nothing says “adventure” like bagpipes and electric guitars.)
• Culinary Highlight: Cropduster, our Grill Master, looked up the perfect Scottish Grilled Rabbit recipe—herbs, whisky marinade, and a proper fire—for our tarmac BBQ in Glasgow.
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The Great Glasgow Scotch Score – Tarmac BBQ Celebration
As the sun dipped behind the hangars, our tarmac BBQ became the stuff of crew legend. The support teams from the C-17 and C-130 had scoured the region and returned with a haul of local Scotch that would make any Highlander weep with joy:
• Aultmore Oloroso Sherry Cask GTR 25 Years Old: Deep sherry, dried fruits, chocolate, velvet finish—pure luxury.
• Glenturret Triple Wood 2022 Release: Vanilla, caramel, spice, silky and sweet.
• Glengoyne 18 Years Old: Marzipan, apple, raisin, nutty sherry depth.
• Auchentoshan 12 Years Old: Caramel, toasted oak, citrus, smooth and easy.
• Oban 14 Year Old: Fruity, coastal, lightly smoky, honeyed finish.
• Highland Park 18 Year Old: Balanced spice, mild peat, honeyed warmth.
• Arran 10 Year Old: Bright, citrusy, malty, clean finish.
• Dewar’s Double Double 37 Years Old: Rich, layered, honey, dried fruit, oak.
• Aberlour A’bunadh: Dark fruits, spice, robust and powerful.
• Talisker Storm: Maritime peat, black pepper, gentle fruit.

With AC/DC’s “High Voltage” and “Thunderstruck” blasting, Cropduster plated up the grilled rabbit, and the crew toasted with drams in hand. Cuban cigars made the rounds, and even Lani and Kai lounged nearby, eyeing the grill and hoping for a taste. We swapped stories, laughed about Tim the Enchanter, killer rabbits, and wild landings, and plotted the next leg.
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Closing Thoughts
If there’s a better way to end a Scottish aviation adventure—grilled rabbit, world-class whisky, rock anthems, and crew camaraderie—I haven’t found it yet. Slàinte mhath! Here’s to the next leg, more wild landings, and the endless hunt for the perfect dram.

Somethings ya gotta go FULL MONTY..... Python.

Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, ya know what I mean, you know what I mean, say no more, say no more!

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