Days 21 and 22 : Shitsville

Day 21 - 11:00
Well this isn’t good. I wake up regularly through the night with stomach cramps, and what feels like the beginning of a fever - blowing hot and cold, and my joints all ache. Bugger.

When Vicki wakes at 09:00, we have a brief discussion about my ailments. My symptoms are very similar to hers a couple of days ago when we attempted to move on to Phi Phi. Having rejigged all of our plans, we really do kinda need to move on today to Phuket, so that we’re in the right vicinity for our flight home in a couple of days. I’m not looking forward to the day. I’ve had no urgent toilet requirements just yet, but it feels like they’re in the post.

Day 21 - 20:30
Today has been, by some distance, our most challenging day of the trip. I think on these kinds of journeys, you’re going to have ups and downs - this has been a hefty down.

We’re back at Sala Dan pier in the heat of the day. My tummy’s behaving itself so far. Badly cramping, but it hasn’t exploded. There’s a café at the pier that has a toilet. My stomach and bum twinge in unison. Rushing to the toilet, I discover it’s the hole in the floor variant that remains fairly popular in this part of the world. I imagine a world where things go horribly wrong, and my underwear/shorts are covered by my woeful inexperience and inaccuracy. I squat and have a try, but my heart isn’t in it.

We’re on a speedboat that goes to Phi Phi, and then to Phuket. I *think* there’s a bathroom on it, but am not 100% sure. As the boat gets moving, I worry a little about the bouncing and bumping along the waves, and its potential impact on my malady. Weirdly, it feels quite comforting. I chuck on some headphones, and try and achieve some kind of relaxed state of mindfulness. This helps a little…

Arriving into Phi Phi, we notice a couple of things:

1) It’s is SO busy. The harbour area is a traffic jam of various types of boats. The streets that we can see on the island look crazy.
2) The people getting on the boat are in a general state of disrepair. One couple in particular look like they may have actually come directly from the rave.

All in all, we find ourselves wondering whether we’ve played a blinder by missing out on our planned stay here.

Our arrival at Rassada Pier in Phuket is straightforward, and we’re quickly planted in the back of a beautifully cooled car for the c. 50 minute drive over to Kamala Beach, on the West coast of Phuket island. As we drive, I read a news story about Bangkok, where a state of emergency has been called, due to the incredible heat. We thought it bad when we were there, but the heat index over the weekend is expected to be 52C, which is in the ‘extreme risk of death’ category. 30 Thai people have died of heat stroke in the past couple of weeks. We’ve been, perhaps a little unfairly, thinking of ourselves as babies for struggling with the heat so much.

We arrive at The Palms, our hotel in Kamala Beach. Our room looks lovely, but we quickly discover the AC unit is on the fritz. It keeps turning itself off, and when it IS working, puts out a very weak stream of cold air. The room actually feels like it’s getting warmer with us in it. I call the front desk, and ask for another room. They promise an AC engineer will take a look at it first. We wait 1/2 hour. No engineer. I’m seriously overheating, and need to cool down ASAP.

Frustrated, we book another place just up the road that looks like it will give us what we need. Sadly, we have been a victim of estateagentitis (not a real thing). The description of the room we’ve booked makes it sound like a palace. The pictures make it look glorious. What we encounter, after a very hot walk, is miles from what we’ve been promised. FFS - the toilet is outside. Now, I don’t mind an outside toilet by the beach. I’ve quite enjoyed ‘nature’ toilets at a few places over the years. We, however, are in a built up area, and the heat index is currently at 47C. The A/C unit is struggling to cool such a big space. I’m rapidly fading. We’re both a bit distraught. Vicki negotiates the use of a room with an indoor bathroom as, well, our bathroom. It’s on a different floor to the room we’d booked. The AC unit in there does at least seem to be working a little better.

I need to lie down. Vicks heads out for a bit of an explore, and in search of some food, but returns not much later, decrying the neighbourhood as ‘shit’.

We’re on our 3rd room in the past 24 hours, but decide the way through this clusterfuck is to book a 4th. We’ll stay here tonight, but head up towards the airport tomorrow. There are a ton of bigger, more modern hotels within 10-15 minutes of Phuket Airport, and we suspect they’ll meet our needs more effectively. It’s such a shame, because the very vast majority of small, locally managed guesthouses we’ve stayed at while we’ve been in Thailand have been fab. We’re both relieved to have found a new place to stay, and it helps us relax a little. Vicks goes to sleep at 20:30 in protest at the rubbishness of the day.

Day 22 - 10:00
My fever gets worse through the evening. I’m reading, anticipating the inevitable, and kinda wishing it would just hurry up and get here. Vicki sleeps next to me. Around 23:00, the brown rains arrive, and honestly? It’s a relief. The next few hours are spent variously hydrating, walking tentatively from my bed to the toilet, and, well - raining. Around 02:00, I’m exhausted. I feel completely empty, and have eaten nothing today. I decide to risk some sleep, in the hope that my body will react quickly enough and wake me up if urgent circumstances arise. Happily, my body plays ball. There’s a minor incident around 05:00, when I nearly ignore the wake up call. Whilst I sleep erratically, it’s still the most sleep time I’ve had for a few days, and is very welcome.

Day 22 - 17:00
Feels like we’ve made the right choice. After a cool 45 minute drive to the North, we arrive at Naiyana Beach, and a hotel called Bella Nara. It’s exactly the kind of modern beach hotel that could be lifted and dropped on any beach around the world, but for right here and for right now, it’s the right place for us. Our room’s not quite ready when we arrive, so we grab a cautious lunch. I manage a beer, and Vicki manages a glass of Chardonnay. We’re both avoiding heat and spice today, so have a club sandwich and a burger respectively. It’s not the best club sandwich I’ve ever had, but after existing on water and a small handful of peanuts for the past 36 hours, it’s also the best club sandwich I’ve ever had.

Back at our room, I can feel fatigue catching up with me again. I put my head down for a ‘quick’ 2 hour nap. I wake up at one point, and am cold. Actually cold. I crawl under the duvet with a wide smile on my face.

Day 22 - 22:00
We decide to brave the outside world for a bite to eat - and end up at a pizza joint approx 60m from our hotel. I think we’ve had such a rough few days that we’re just not gonna risk anything too adventurous at this stage. We both have a cautious glass of wine, and a more than decent pizza. This part of Phuket looks like it’d be great fun to explore - but we’ll save that for another time.Read more