Bidet As It May

Our apartment is a modern, spacious 3-bedroom detached villa. It has been designed to meet the higher end of vacationing expectations. All the bedrooms are en suite and also have a private balcony. It is solidly built, although unlikely to outlast the aforementioned amphitheatre in Pula. Each bathroom has that feature commonly used in continental toilet etiquette but rarely seen in domestic dwellings back home - the bidet. In Japan, where living spaces are more densely packed, the bidet function has been incorporated into high tech, electronic push button toilets by way of a motorised wand that can spray water in preprogrammed directions as required. I suspect that I am drifting off at a tangent, so returning to the bidet in my suite...

Try to picture the layout of our relatively spacious ensuite facilities, with a WC, a bidet and a bath occupying 2 walls and the sink making the third side of a U shape. The remaining wall is taken up by the door which when opened hides the WC. Now imagine you are a male of advancing years (you may already be one) whose sleep pattern is often interrupted by a trip to use the facilities. Arriving sleepily through the open door in an unfamiliar apartment you see some white porcelain of approximately the correct height and shape, then as your level of consciousness increases, you may find, as I did, the need to make some quick, mid-stream changes to the direction of the current activity. Up until this week, the only time I ever made use of what seems to be a superfluous sanitary item was for the nightly washing of my Lycra during a cycling holiday through the Dolomites. Now I am beginning to wonder if that had been a sensible use of the porcelain.

You are correct is the assumption that today is another down day with nothing much happening.  Our merry band has naturally divided into 2 groups - the sun worshippers and those who occasionally venture outside to spend 15 minutes in the pool before returning to the sanctuary of the air-conditioned apartment. Ben spends his time programming or playing games on his laptop, and I while away the hours reading or trying to write some brief and sometimes (hopefully) amusing observations about our experiences here. It's mostly for my own amusement but if you are also entertained, I won't be offended.

In closing, I should report that tonight's dinner ended with 5 complimentary shots. They were small measures but everyone else seemed reluctant to embrace the local culture, so I felt I had to step up to the plate.  Now everyone else is in the pool, but I'm not sure I would be able to find the pool, far less join them.Read more