My why..

These are the most frequent questions I am asked about my trip: What made you want to do that? Are you crazy? Is it safe? Why alone? Are you sure this is a good idea? How far for how many days?

I have struggled to capture into words my why because frankly there are a hundred reasons I want to go on this journey and a hundred more telling me I am nuts and to stay home. I leave in 48 hours and honestly, I still don’t know if I have lost my mind. I am not brave. I have been brave because life has demanded it from me but bravery on the whole is not a word I would ever associate with myself. For the most part I have operated 90% of my life in fear. Jumping from one safe decision to the next safer one because I just need somewhere to retreat. Along the way, moving from safe to safer, I lost my passion. I lost who I am.

The Camino De Santiago for many is a long walk, an adventure. For many others it’s a spiritual journey. I am hopeful for a spiritual reset. I am hopeful to depend on my physical body and make peace with it and all of its shortcomings. I am hopeful that I will end the journey confident in myself and excited for my future.

For those who have known me for more than a few years know life has not been easy. I have pleaded with God for a break, and slowly it is coming. A few years ago, I started making braver and bolder decisions. I had had enough. I was numb and I knew I needed to find my way back. I changed my job, more than once. I filed for divorce. I learned to manage my life in my own. I took trips out of the country with my kids. I bought a car, I remodeled my bathroom. I grieved the loss of both my parents. Most importantly, I worked hard to re-set my mind from the trauma I have endured.

I begged God to show up and He did, as He always has. That is one thing I know for sure, in the midst of all my chaos and every challenge I have endured, He has been the steady in the storm and my true north. So northward I will go, from Santarem Portugal to Santiago de Compostela and on to the end of the earth in Finisterre. A little over 400 miles in 28 days.

I have a plan. And I don’t. I fly to Lisbon Tuesday morning, arriving on Wednesday. I’ll visit the Cathedral in Lisbon to get my credentials. From there, I’ll spend a five days in Lisbon with Steve and his family celebrating his niece’s marriage, and on Tuesday, the 14th I’ll hit the trail from Santarem. From there I plan to walk about 17 miles the first day.

Proverbs 16:9
A man’s heart his steps but the Lord directs his path.Leggi altro