Bright red weird fake vintage buggy car

We welcome you with open arms, G.O.A.T.s of Mount Olympus.

I have been staring at the screen for over five minutes, and have deleted many a first attempt at opening this blog. I keep insulting my family. For a good reason: Allegra just said “shut up, I’m this close to punching you” and that sums up everyone’s current mood. Irritable and ready to throw hands at the drop of a hat.

I can just hear dad: “hey! I’m in a perfectly good mood, I’ll have you know!”. That’s because he is the most annoying.

I am now realising that perhaps I am the only one annoyed by everything, because the music is shit and capcut (what I use for editing videos; if you want to watch them, follow our instagram @alolliru) is not working properly and I don’t understand literally the problem is not even logically possible???

Anyway, onto the day.

I awoke freezing cold, to the sounds of Lily shouting away, not a care in the world for her little sisters just one floor up. “But Ruby,” you say, “It was ten thirty!”

I fail to see the relevance of your comments.

But nonetheless, I ambled downstairs to get some breakfast, and was overjoyed to notice watermelon in the fridge (approximately a week ago, I had saved a perfect slice of watermelon for breakfast, the last one, and Tate proceeded to eat it in front of my eyes, while saying that she wasn’t hungry and didn’t like watermelon. I honestly thought that she was just messing with me, and would put the watermelon back in the fridge, but she kept eating and I got sadder and sadder. The fiend did not care, took the last bite, and said “that was disgusting, and I’m so full, but I love the texture.” I could have thrown her out the window right then and there, but there was (sadly) not one handy. The next day, I did not have breakfast. Anyway, I keep getting sidetracked.) and sliced myself two enormous slices. They still sit in the fridge, because they were actually disgusting. Rubbery and yet mushy texture, horrible flavour. I could not stand it.

Anyway, no breakfast once again, and so I chilled with the parents and Lil. Mum had asked for something to be sent to her, and Lily replied that she had completed but not sent it. Mum then replied, “What is it doing? Floating in the ether? How is it getting here you f*cking bunch of idiots?” Which was potentially a bit harsh but the loving undertones were there if you looked.
(To be fully transparent, Mum did say this with a joking twinkle in her eyes and the four of us laughed)

Anyway, then the parents started being really annoying, telling us to get ready (like, why??) with a time of departure set. So I lay around for forty of those fifty allotted minutes, and then in the last ten minutes I rushed around and complained that the parents never gave us enough warning or left us enough time.

So, ten minutes late, we strolled out the door and to town. But our father is terrible at directions, he lead us astray and I suggested that Lily should lead, as she brought us here. Dad proceeded to lead us the wrong way, and on his blog he complained that I “questioned his worth as a human and a parent” whereas my exact words were “I’m trying to think of people I like, and you’re not on that list” and later on “I don’t know anyone that likes you” which I think was justified and Dad is totally a drama queen with no sense of direction.

An important plot point, I asked on this walk, “where will I live?” Talking about when I moved to Paris (probably) in a year. Seemingly, no one heard, and I didn’t care enough to ask again.

Much later on, we finally arrived in town, and immediately the parents spotted a bright red weird fake vintage buggy car. It was lowkey cool though. It was decided that we would get it (I was not consulted and if I had been I would have argued against it since the og plan was to get quadbikes which to me is infinitely cooler. However Lily was consulted and despite quadbike riding being on her bucket list (apparently) and since she is mum’s favourite, the buggy was hired.) along with another red car which was just a car.

We drove home and changed and went to the beach, stopping for lunch at a restaurant which I would give one star, because really how hard is it to bring out food at the same time, and not literally twenty minutes between everyone’s food and mine. (Like really??? And all I ordered was an entrée as well.) At this restaurant, dad proclaimed “I am not men, I am man”, which was such a typically “men” thing to say that all of us laughed except him.

I think the irony of it all was lost on him.

At the beach, we swam for a bit, then tanned, then swam, then I gave Lily a hot rock massage (consisting of me putting rocks on her back) and then skipping rocks (leading me to singing, “he was tryna skip rocks on the ocean,” from a Taylor Swift song, to be greeted with a chorus of “shut up!”). Dad went to snorkel, and seemed to regress back to his childhood, because at regular intervals, he would come out of the ocean to update us on his “eel and fish friends”. A direct quote: “It’s like the eel and fish are friends, and they are hanging out with me!” In a tone of utmost excitement.

It was a sight to behold.

Then came the time for photos, and after while of aesthetic ones, I hilariously splashed Lily, who then yelled, “I don’t want to get my hair wet!” then attempted to give me an atomic wedgie before dunking me underwater with the violence she usually reserves for ladybugs in her room.

But I could not stop laughing, ultimately leading to my downfall: as she left me flailing in the water, I was choking out copious amounts of swallowed water and sneezing profusely. Laughing all the while.

Mum then got annoyed at the other brits around (at whom I had shouted “go home!” but to be fair they were from a flotilla. Like who goes on a flotilla?) and so it was decided that we would go to a village with a view of the sunset . This turned out to be a lie, as we didn’t really see the sunset, but the sun itself was pretty impressive.

Oh!!! We also got ice cream for the first time since we have been in Greece! It’s a moment to be commemorated. And now it has been.

But nothing else interesting really happened, so I will move on.

We went back to the cars and drove home, and hilariously mum was driving through the slightly thin roads, and said “it’s like a video game! Cats everywhere! Like miaow miaow miaow!” Which was worrying to hear, I began to wonder if mum had taken drugs since she was still imitating cats. Mum never imitates cats at home.

But once we arrived home, we got out some snacks for dinner, sat around, and began to compose blogs, listening to terrible music. Mum then came out to join us, having finished working. About twenty minutes later, she turned to me and said, “to answer your question, you will live with Lily”

Confused?

So was I!

It turns out that this was in answer to the question that I marked as a plot point earlier on. Mum had heard me, and decided to wait ten hours to answer. When I pointed this out, she was unfazed.

I realise that my blog is less of an accurate description of our day, and more all of the thoughts in my head as I write, but really you signed up for this rambling, so that’s on you.

Right, I’m now being told to hurry up, because it is midnight, everyone had abandoned me outside (I feel unloved) and I do have 5% left on my phone. Also, don’t listen to a word mum says, the music was sh*t. Except for august. 10/10 song.

In fact, that is what the honorable mention will be for today: the album folklore by Taylor Swift. 10/10, no skips, compelling, storytelling, and a good summer album (I will hear no opposition on this fact.)

peace (😉) right out.

Cheeeeese!!Read more