in my reputation era ig

We welcome you with open arms, G.O.A.T.s of Mount Olympus.

Do not read this blog. It is basically just me writing with anger (and placing vaguely passive-aggressive brackets).

Today commenced with me questioning my sanity. Unironicaly

In the room shared by me and my sisters, there is one aircon. The sister who plans on going to sleep last is in charge of the remote control: last night, it was me. And so, when everyone else was asleep, I got cold, and so turned it off and burrowed under the blanket before falling into a deep slumber.

Later on, the temperature caused me to reawaken. “Too warm?” You say.

Hah. If only. The aircon was… back on. Confused, I looked over to the remote control. It was by my side, Lily was fast asleep. I assumed that I had forgotten to turn it off when I went to bed, so I switched it off, and went back to sleep.

Not long later, I awoke to the same situation, and I honestly began to think that I was losing my mind.

This happened a few more times and I spiralled deeper and deeper into a state of confusion and slight fear, hindering my sleep.

This turned out to be a good thing: I slept lightly, and was awoken later by Lily leaning over me, grabbing the remote and switching it on.

Relief and annoyance warred in my brain, while Lily said “stop turning it off!” before going back to an untroubled sleep.

You understand, of course the disgruntlement that I felt, to begin my day questioning my sanity. But I got up and had a shower (while listening to the entirely hard-hitting (although decidedly not joyous) TTPD: The Anthology) but my mood was not improved because the shower does not go hot. Anyone who knows me knows I hate cold showers. With the passion of a thousand burning suns. So my already unideal day began its steady decline.

Then I went and spoke to my parents and Lily, in an effort to cheer myself up.

This was an epic fail.

I was greeted with perhaps excessive amounts of criticism. Apparently, as you may have seen from comments on my previous blog, I “make things up”. This is blatantly untrue: we here at Return Of The Gods take honesty very seriously. Exaggeration of facts, such as battlefields before boats, perhaps. But when people say that I invent things said, this is an insult to my integrity, especially since I write it down seconds after it happens.

Needless to say, I was miffed.

This was not helped by the fact that my penchant for adding (perhaps unnecessary and yet decidedly delightful) brackets was recently a subject of criticism. (Apparently they are “excessive” and need to be dialled down)

Well, you know what they say, haters gonna hate (hate, hate, hate, hate). Freedom of speech for all!!!

However I would like to state that I am a big fan of my parents and that everything that they (and also, perhaps begrudgingly, I) said is with love.

Anyway, thanks for listening to my rant (and also sorry 😅). Moving on, with a day that can only get better.

Lily convinced us to fight the patriarchy (aka Dad) by getting ready in fifty minutes and not the hour of allotted time (it should be noted that we enjoy quoting “I am not men, I am man.”)

We failed spectacularly, but you win some, you lose some.

In our defence, we had extra things to think about since we planned on beginning the filming of our music video for Taylor Swift’s “Now That We Don’t Talk (From The Vault)” . So really an hour is not enough time.

But we eventually set off (in our buggy which I also got criticism for, namely my description of it) and went to a beach to film, and that is what we did, leading me (as the main character) to submerge myself fully clothed in the water and also run dramatically) then we really just chilled until we got hungry (also filming some things for our transitions (to learn more, follow us @alolliru (yes I am promoting us))).

Later on, we drove to a restaurant for lunch (at three) and consumed. It was actually pretty good (although I did have greek salad again) however the waiter was pretty good looking so in all honesty, it was fully worth it.

We then moved to a different beach, went swimming and then I bopped out to Reputation. And Lily slept. Oh! And also do you remember dad’s eel and fish friends (that apparently he “didn’t have” and I “lied about that too”, gosh no wonder I was in a mood to listen to Reputation today (also I keep being mocked for saying gosh but do you know what? I don’t care it’s super satisfying and fun)).

Anyway I got sidetracked. So, Dad’s eel and fish friends were back, and when he went snorkelling again he saw them, and even named them Eely and Fisho. In fact, I recorded a statement as proof (when he thought that one of his friends was missing). So, try and call me a liar now! I have receipts!!

Nothing else of interest happened and we drove back home. It wasn’t a fun drive since we talked about failed friendships. But anyway, after a brief stop at a supermarket (I think that the rules for bakeries apply here as well), we were back home.

After a few minutes of chilling, Lily, Olivia and I ( aka the director, Harry, and Taylor) went out to the car to film a couple of scenes, and upon our return, Lily and I decided to watch some Supernatural ( a decidedly bopping series - don’t listen to what mum says) but then (the aforementioned) mum finished work and we used her computer to transfer and edit the videos. Needless to say, Lily and I (being rather tired) were hilarious (I ended up pecking her elbow with my nose and she wrote Taylor Swift as Twaylor Sift (which was hilarious at the time, and if I’m being honest, it still is)).

Dad made us toasties, at which point I called him a “king among men” so now people can stop saying that I am too “mean”.

That done, we went to chill with our fam outside. A hilarious moment had gone down, having made Allegra laugh til she cried. I am not allowed to go into detail, but [redacted] read [redacted] and proposed that we [redacted] “What the f*ck [redacted]?”.

Still funny and I wasn’t even there!!

Then we composed the blog, bringing back my negative emotions (slightly calmed by dad putting august on the playlist of the night. But I was still disgruntled enough to say “I don’t like this song” when Better when we’re together (or whatever it’s called) by John Jackson (or Jack Johnson, I don’t really know which, I mean, who has a last name of Jackson (or Johnson) and then calls their son John (or Jack)?). In reality, I don’t hate the song, however I could not go back on my word, and so Dad basically disowned me and told me to take a walk down the road and not come back.

I hope he was joking.

About five minutes later, he said “I’m still reeling.” Mum (justifiably) replied “you look pretty chill for a reeler” which I found objectively hilarious, hence why it is in this blog.

Then Mr. Brightside by The Killers played, and I love that song, so my mood was lifted considerably, ending this day on a good note.

Honorable mention to myself. Why? Because I’m pretty cool. Because I feel like it. I debated (for about a minute) with myself about whether I should rewrite the blog or not, but then I came to the conclusion that I warned you in the beginning, and also I don’t really owe anyone a funny blog, so if you ignored my warnings, you brought this upon yourself.

Also I slay.

Besides, no one reads my blog for accuracy because I only detail the parts that I find interesting. Go read dad’s blog if you want accuracy.

Peace right out.

Cheeeeese!!En savoir plus