“Don’t put this in the blog”

Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s journey!

Gosh, it’s been a while since I last sat before my screen to compose.

“What?” I hear you say. “Hasn’t it been but a day?”

Well, dear readers, you all seemed to miss the fact that yesterday’s blog was different. First hint: the title. It was “spot the difference”. A clear order, which no one followed. To be fair, very few people commented (shoutout to Ali, everyone’s fave aunt!!). Second, the title was not in the blog at any point.

“Ahh,” I hear you think (yes I am a mind reader teehee), “that’s happened before, on Guest Star!”

That’s right, you little geniuses! Yesterday’s blog was entirely written by the one, the only, Jessica Fitzroy Casswell Simpson!

To be fair she wrote it from my perspective, in the style of my blogs, about my day and not hers.

But honestly mum slayed, it was so good and so nice and every compliment she wrote about herself is true

Everyone give a round of applause for Mum!! It was hilarious! I’ve never laughed harder! We were all chuckling in unison!!

Anyway.

Back to my blog.

Today I was woken up by people with no respect. Aka my whole family (excluding Olivia and Allegra). They were loudly making coffee in the kitchen, and breakfast, and I, who had been reading until two in the morning with Allegra, was rather disgruntled at this. Since I sleep in the front room.

Anyway, I decided to cast this aside and put a spring in my step, joyously making myself some breakfast and then watching Liky and Allegra suffer before me as they do sport, something I am so happy I don’t do.

They keep being like “we are people who are committed haha, loser” and I level them with my patented unimpressed look, raised eyebrow and all, and say “but I am a happy person who isn’t in pain”.

They still are floundering for a response.

I am especially happy because Liky and Allegra listen to a lot of Taylor Swift at this time, free of my influence!

Anyway, I then was reading the news and updating myself on the happenings of the world, as I sincerely LOVE to do, and I saw that Stephen Colbert said “go f*ck yourself” about Trump.

So, needless to say, I swear allegiance to him now.

After their sport, Liky wanted nothing more than to watch some f1, drive to survive. She is nearing the end of the released show at this point.

As mum said yesterday, I am the better sister, since I watch this with her, but ten seconds of a Hamilton song and suddenly I am the devil.

Complete with pitchfork and horns!

As we watched, mum and dad said we had one hour before we had to leave. However, our episode was 50 minutes long, so the four of us shared a look, and came to an agreement.

We would simply watch the whole episode and the rush for ten minutes.

So we did, and honestly there was no need to rush since mum and dad were not close to ready.

It was quite fun though.

Now shoutout to Dad for helping me remember what my note “Liky and repeating and hamilton and f1” meant. Indeed, Liky always says “hamilton just repeats over and over, I always give you new facts about f1!” And dad then said, “isn’t that what you said yesterday?” Because she did.

Who’s repeating over and over now?

But the time came for us to finally leave, much later than target time, and Allegra and I were the unlucky children that had to sig in the back. Now these seats are whatever the opposite of coveted is, despised I suppose, since there is no space and no airflow.

And on a longish drive, this is not ideal.

Plus, we both ended up feeling really queasy (a word that I love!).

It seems that this drive was enjoyable for few of us, since due to the fact that Allegra and I were out of action, we were quite quiet and altogether the Simpson family was having a peaceful, silent-ish drive.

Expect one of us, who, apparently, can’t deal with silence.

At some point, Liky just exploded in annoyance and whining and “I hate silence and I hate that it’s hot and I hate long drives!”

Mum blames the adhd.

But you know Tate is annoyed when she says “you little twerp!”. Now if you know Tate, you know she is peaceful by nature. But to call Liky a lil’ twerp? That is a testament to the negativity that filled the sweltering car.

Mum and dad were quite happy though. With their leg room and aircon.

Have you guys ever seen penguins, the hilarious Madagascar spin-off movie? If you have, then you know the scene I’m thinking of.

I should move on.

We drove all the way to Naz beach, but after parking and getting out, and bringing our beach bags to the top of the long path down, we saw the tourists, we saw the smallish size of the beach, we saw the long road down which would likely prove to be a l o n g e r road up, on an unrelated note, I saw some ruins and loved that, and then we promptly turned around.

Back in the car we were, this time Leg and I were in the middle. We drove to some beaches we had passed on the way, stopped at a pie place that had greek pies (I got a mushroom pie, it tasted like a ratatouille lasagna, which is like my two favourite meals), and once more unto the beach!

N.b. This is what dad said he would use as a blog title that time when we were in Paris and he never did so, take that dad.

The beach was rather nice, the ocean was gorgeous as usual, and a lovely temperature. The only problem was the lack of shade!

But no matter, we had our umbrellas!

And as dad was twisting one into the ground, his hat began to slide off his head, and without breaking a sweat or stopping his umbrella twisting, he puts out one hand, snatches his hat from midair, puts it back on, and keeps twisting.

The man didn’t 👏 even 👏 look 👏 up!

A master of all skills.

And mum also proved her genius by building us a sort of fort out of the sarongs and umbrellas, providing the most shade that that beach has ever seen. I think Dad said it best: we could come back in 2000 odd-years, and that fort would still be standing.

Then my sisters tanned and I stayed in the shade, and we sometimes swam, and Allegra tried to drown me claiming it was an ab exercise, but the laugh on her face and the water in mine sort if gave away the lie in this, and we kept getting attacked by “sea lice”, and Liky swam out to a buoy…

A lot happened.

Oh, and there were turtles in the river!! Adorable turtles! Sometimes baby turtles! Dozens of cute turtles!! I can’t stress enough that there were TURTLES!

But after a couple hours or so, we had to move on due to pesky work calls on my father’s schedule (pronounced shedule, of course).

So we packed up, I guess 2000 years must have passed since the fort is no longer, and we made our way to the car and then to the nearby town, and my sisters got ice cream, which I forgoed (is that a word? Forwent?) in favour of FRESH ORANGE JUICE mmm I could die for some fresh orange juice how lucky am I that I don’t need to because I would.

And do you recall the moment, not too long ago, when I praised dad for his control over his body?

Well. Funny story.

We were in a supermarket, and I go to stand next to my dad who contemplates a shelf of pasta. “Do we have pasta?” He asks me, reaching for some as he turns his head to face me. I don’t answer; not for a lack of knowledge on my part, but because I can see a disaster happening. My eyes widen. “Watch out!” I cry, but I am too late. My father has knocked over a dozen pasta boxes. They loudly clatter to the floor. Red faced and ashamed, we pick them up. Buy when dad faces me again, he only says one thing.

“Don’t put this in the blog.”

Welp, if I am known for anything, it’s my dedication to the job! Too bad dad!

Why would he reach for precariously stacked pasta without looking, I will never understand.

But we then drove home without further incident. Olivia and I sat down to watch an episode of the k-drama I am begrudgingly hooked on, and ten seconds in, mum said “put f1 on”.

As they say in Spain, ¿qué?

But yeah, apparently mum will watch f1 with her daughters but not a show of dubious quality in a foreign language.

Perplexing.

Sadly I had no choice but to make the switch, and 1 episode of f1 later, I was finally allowed to watch my episode of the k drama with my bestie tate!

During this time, Liky made dinner for us, but I was forced to partake once the episode was over. Ultimately a fun time was had, I whipped out my best interpretive dance skills (always questionable; I was compared to the meme of Bill Hader dancing from 2023) and less so my cooking skills (I ate more feta than I put in the salad).

Liky and I were perhaps crazy at this time, since at some point Liky dropped the slice utensil that we were using as a wooden spoon into the pot of boiling water, and then I used my fork to lift it out so that she could grab it with a tea towel, and I said “quick! The steam hot me”, and she said “the steam hot me too!” And we laughed.

It is worth noting that this is on top of the words “I guee” and “I true” that we have already been using for agreement due to previous mistakes.

Anyway.

Also Allegra has declared me a “meanie” since the fanfic I kept begging her to read, that I promised wouldn’t make her cry, well, made her cry. And she is only halfway through. Mwahahaha *strokes cat menacingly in a spinny chair*

Dinner was finally ready, we had made a strange mix of pasta and potato and peppers and tomato and cheese and lemon, that was deeeeeelicious. Yummerdums, as I like to say.

Liky really does have the Casswell Concoction genes.

In fact we discussed this during dinner, and mum pronounced “conjure” as “cunjure”. I then informed her that it was cOnjure, with an O, mum refused to hear reason, so I turned to the patriarchy, aka dad, who agreed with mum?!?

So I put forth the argument, “it’s like constipated! Would you say cunstipated? ‘Are you cunstipated?’”

And then dad said “no, actually, my poop’s are alright!”.

I rolled my eyes at the s h e e r immaturity.

Finally at some point mum asked, “why is it called “drive to survive?”” To which I answered, “it’s because these rich, mostly white men will *die* if they can’t drive their wittle fast cars around in different circles! They’ll simply die!”

And I only mention this because everyone laughed (bar Liky, but she was laughing on the inside) which is a rare occurence indeed.

But then everyone went inside, and Dad and I wrote our respective blogs, I of course procrastinated, I talked with my bestie Andrea (it was a 10/10 discussion, chaotic as usual) and then sadly I had to end the convo to continue this blog.

Damn you procrasti-nation!

Also, I have referred to Lily as Liky throughout this blog because it is a mistake I keep making and having to fix, and I told her that is she didn’t stop annoying me then she would be Liky in the blog. So. Here we are.

And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
Bye family!!!Weiterlesen