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  • Ruby Simpson
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A boppin blog detailing the travels of three gods and their comrade returning to Greece Read more
  • Ruby Simpson
  • Jessica Simpson
  • Fallen Comrade
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  • Lunch!
    Twins devouringWhy so cute tho8 minute Power Nap?

    SALT AIR!!! AND THE RUST ON YOUR DOOR!!!

    Yesterday in Greece ⋅ 🌬 27 °C

    Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s path!

    🎶SALT AIR!!! AND THE RUST ON YOUR DOOR!!! I’VE NEVER NEEDED ANYTHING MORRREEEE!!!!!!🎶

    That’s right girls and boys, it’s AUGUST! Aka the month to play Taylor Swift’s song “august” until your family can’t tolerate it any longer and kicks you out!

    Well, I awoke and decided to simply read in bed and relax, instead of getting up immediately as I usually do. These plans were quickly thwarted when, an hour later, Dad came in to wake me up. Of course he joked and jested about how my room was so big and he was “so far away that he couldn’t see me”.

    But sadly I had to get out of bed, because today was Self Contained Underwater Breathing Apparatus Day! Or, S.C.U.B.A Day! (Also known as “S.C.U.B.A.D” but I couldn’t very well call it what sounds like a past tense verb when it had not yet happened; I would look to be a fool!).

    So after some time of doing nothing, I got up, got ready and we were off for the two minute walk down to the scuba place.

    It was all fairly simple, a matter of the guy giving us wetsuits that we had to put on (we all felt like Black Widow). Of course, Lily and Dad didn’t dive. They instead hung out without us and bonded over their strange love of coffee (what a yucky beverage).

    We then headed to the water, he gave us an explanation, and after putting heavy belts on, we were off!

    It was quite fun! I liked being chill on the bottom of the ocean, and Tate and leg did cool as well, but Mum kept floating to the surface, which she wasn’t happy about.

    It was quite funny, I’d do a quick look around, Tate is in my left, Leg is on my right, where is mum? And then I’d look up, and sure enough, she’s on the surface.

    I expertly avoided floating up by just breathing in or out, Tate got floated one time but she insists that I include how the guy was impressed that she didn’t panic when she filled her mask with water. Yay Tate!

    We saw a starfish (and held it, which I don’t know if that is good for them), a sea urchin, a bunch of fish, a weird flat sand coloured one, some millipede-looking pink stuff, and I saw a small octopus, but no one else did.

    I also watched Tate pick up a shell, look left to right to see if the guy was looking, and then tuck it in her wetsuit as if she was sneakily stealing a diamond ring or something.

    I was scandalised.

    45 minutes later we made our way out, and carried our heavy material from the water to the place: a clear testament to our strength.

    Dad and Lily regaled us with the story of when they got coffee and talked to the server about France. So.

    We didn’t have cash so they guy said we could get some from town and meet him there later, so we didn’t that, but first it was lunch time!!

    I recreated the twins’ salad from last night, twas delicious, as mum complained about how she wasn’t a huge fan of the diving.

    Which is understandable since the first time mum dove it was in the Great Barrier Reef, so, not the same level of nice.

    After lunch we chilled for an average amount of time before heading out to town to shop and to get cash for the dude. The shop was speedy, so we called the guy, and he was like, “yeah I’ll meet you in the square” and we were like, “where is the square” and he was like, “100 m from the supermarket”.

    Three tours of the town later, we decided to park next to what could be a square and then mum and dad got out, we waited for like 15 minutes and finally he showed up.

    It was weird tbh.

    But then, mum and dad were like, “let’s go see that thing that Lily and Ruby want to see, the petrified princess of telendos!” And basically it’s a mountain that looks like a woman’s face, so the Greeks made a myth that was about a girl in love with the prince of telendos, and she decided that she would find out if he lived her by lighting a candle (?) putting it in a tiny boat (??) floating it across the sea to the island of telendos (???) and if it went out, they weren’t meant to be (????).

    It’s a LONELY CANDLE ON A PRECARIOUS BOAT CROSSING THE SEA! OF COURSE IT’S GOING TO GO OUT!

    So she cried herself to death.

    Sadly the town that everyone says you can see it from is not in Google maps or Apple Maps. And there were no sign posts for it. We did find a place that apparently you can also see it from, so we drove there, to no joy, and drive back immediately, making hilarious jokes like, “is that her in the tree?” “Is that her on that signpost?” Etc. We truly are soooo funny.

    It was also funny because Tate has been repeating the TikTok sound “princess? Princess where areeee you?” So, of course we said that a few times.

    Anyway, as we drove home we passed an archaeological site, and they all pointed it out to me, and I happily exclaimed that it was the temple of Delian Apollo, the most important archaeological site on the island!

    After that quick glimpse as we drove, dad said, “never let anyone say we don’t take you anywhere, roo”.

    So we drove back home, and the maritime museum was open, something mum really wanted to see, so we did, and honestly, it was fairly average. There were coins and old diving suits and sponges and shells and pearls and puffer fish and sharks teeth and sharks heads and octopi and pots from shipwrecks and parts of an Italian airplane…

    All from one guy’s collection, who we found out was the father of this guy who owns a restaurant in the small town. And we had joked about him because we said “oh, it’s like he owns the whole town” and actually maybe he does.

    But he doesn’t own any aircon or more than one fan!

    Anyway, afterwards we went to a restaurant to get ice cream and drinks, Lily doesn’t like chocolate ice cream and I feel like if I didn’t like chocolate ice cream my soul would cry. They also bought our drinks out after we had all finished which I feel like is rather strange but what do I know, I never worked in hospo, unlike Lily.

    Lily and the twins got into an argument about something or other, the twins decided to go home before the rest of us when Lily turned out to be right, and then Lily and I lamented the fact that the twins didn’t find us cool and thought they were cooler than us.

    Of course, that’s not what we said, we listed off many “reasons” as to why they were annoying, and rude, and conformist, but that was the real reason behind it all.

    After that we went back home as well, Lily and I sat in the same chair as I wrote yesterday’s blog and she listened to Renee Rapp, or as we like to call her, Crenee Crapp.

    Mum fell asleep, so dad took a picture of her and I called out, “I smell a new profile pic!”, which is what we do on our family Signal group every time someone gets caught sleeping. Then dad went downstairs, and lo and behold, the twins were napping too. So, new profile pic!!

    But soon enough dad had to find his way around the kitchen for the first time in weeks, Lily recommended Apple Maps, and he made a very tasty pasta salad. Lily and I kept stealing feta chunks from the plate of feta, giggling all the while, and he used his famous “Oi!” On us many a time, but that did not stop us from sneaking more.

    Looking back, maybe the giggling was a flaw in our sneaky plans.

    Dinner was a fun affair, arguments were had because I made fun of Role Model (a singer that Lily likes), and she was then insulting Taylor Swift, so I defended Taylor Swift, and she insulted her more, and then I moved past it, but Lily evidently did not and argued with me the whole night.

    After biscuit time, we retreated inside, and my sisters all opted to lie on the floor as dad and wrote our blogs. They were going crazy, and the thing is, as you may know, Allegra took to calling me rumple, and my family has sort of picked it up, but now Allegra has decided to sometimes shorten it to rump. And of course, I took offense. Obviously. So I made a big deal about it, but then mum was like “if she actually cares you can’t call her that” and they said, “does rump actually bother you?” And obviously I don’t, not really because I am the best of all sports, so I said “no.” But then I remembered my annoyance at Lily, so I said, “but do you know what does? Lily.”

    And Tate replied, “well that’s alright, no one calls you that”.

    Everyone laughed uproariously. Even I, in my annoyance, was shocked by how funny that was. Tate is the best.

    But stuff was hashed out, I trapped Allegra in a hug for about five minutes (anytime Allegra willingly hugs you you have to keep her there because that’s all you’re getting for 3 months)

    And then it was bed time.

    And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
    Bye family!!! 🤚

    (Photos to be added tomorrow)
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  • 280 km, off the top of my head

    July 31 in Greece ⋅ 🌙 27 °C

    Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s path!

    Today began way too goddamn early. Lily woke me before the crack of dawn. Because she wanted to watch the crack of dawn from the beach.

    When I helpfully pointed out to her that the sun would be on the other side of the hill that surrounded the bay we were in, she was undeterred.

    So the four of us stumbled to the beach, sat on the beanbag type stuff that were laid out, and waited.

    For about an hour.

    The sky was light blue already, we could see where the sun was coming up, but Lily would not let us leave until we saw the sun itself.

    We amused ourselves by plane spotting. In that we saw one plane, Lily said it was a UFO because it was a “flying object that we couldn’t quite identify”. We placed bets as to how high up a plane was. In that Allegra bet it was 280 km high, “off the top of her head”. When I informed her that space began at the Karman line, aka 100km, she simply said, “it’s a UFO isn’t it?”.

    We walked a little way up the hill as the sun began to light up the top of the opposite hill. We sat on the floor and waited, watched a pack of five dogs running around. Tate tried to go back to bed many a time, as Lily ordered Allegra to pull her back.

    Finally, f i n a l l y , we saw the damn sun. And went back.

    Lily and I had breakfast, the twins went back to bed, and as we did nothing, we heard our parents alarm go off. We thought of them as weaklings for being tired when we had been up for three hours.

    We got ready in an hour before we strolled out the door to our car, ready for a thirty minute drive. It was a fun drive, even if the music was a tad questionable (and I do love to question Lily’s music taste).

    But thirty minutes later we made it to the town, parked, and strolled once more to the kayak place.

    That’s right, we’re sea kayaking! Or, well, fjord kayaking. I didn’t know fjords existed outside of Norway.

    Tate was giving Allegra a very cold shoulder since Allegra wanted to go with Lily and not her. So as I listened to my sisters argue loudly in my presence about who didn’t have to go with me, well, let’s say I felt *so* valued. I resolved to prove them all wrong by being the fastest and funnest kayak partner.

    Boy oh boy, did I live up to that. Or at least you’ll have to ask Tate since she was with me.

    We paddled along at a high speed, Tate vlogging with the go pro, and I managed to expertly stop the kayak right below the swing so Tate could climb on with ease.

    I am so the best.

    But we parked our kayaks, messed around, I was the first to stand on the swing and jump (well, sort of flop since I had no water shoes and hence no grip on the wet seat) into the water.

    Mum jumped from high up, I would put the height at a respectable 280 km, off the top of my head. I elected to do the same.

    I climbed up, still shoeless (everyone in my family has water shoes but me, since I am unloved), and then almost fell off due to slippy feet and no grippy shoes, so I sat down for a moment to calm my heart. After that, I realised I was quite content where I was, because the view was nice and there was no chance of falling, so I sat there despite the increasingly rude and mean comments of my family who wanted me to jump.

    Tate came up and she is nice, we chatted for a bit and then she jumped. After a while, I decided to jump too, and so I did.

    But we had to head off, more to the open ocean area, and Lily noticed that our kayaks were red, orange and yellow. So, for her F1 mind, Ferrari, McLaren, and Red Bull. This made us happy as Tate was Leclerc, I was Hamilton, Allegra was Tsunoda, and Lily was Verstappen. We raced, and of course Tate and I won, we were ahead the whole way. But since we were ahead, we took a wrong turn, and had to turn back, placing us behind for maybe half a minute. We then overtook them and passed ahead, but as we celebrated our victory, they informed us that the race apparently ended in the thirty seconds they were ahead.

    It’s 2021 Verstappen v Hamilton where the former was rigged to win all over again.

    But we made it quite far, and it was very deep water, it was just darkness. Our boat had quite a bit of water splashed into it, so I tried to empty it with my hat. Tate then said, “what if we just open this plug and let it drain out,” and then opened it. I made her close it pretty quick, because as mentioned in Brioche Bread, I am fairly terrified of deep water, and if the boat ever did sink, I would just die. In fact, the image of it drifting down into the darkness as I floated above it filled me with such terror that I had to impart it with Tate. We were then both terrified, and then we looked up, and what looked like a pirate ship was heading straight towards us.

    A lot of screeching ensued, as we fumbled for our paddles, tried to turn the boat and just generally get away, which thankfully we managed. We did not escape the brunt of the waves, and so we were rather tossed around, the boat tipping and splashing quite scarily, especially for the two of us who had freaked ourselves out over the thought of being in that deep deep water. How deep, you ask? Maybe 280 km. Off the top of my head.

    It is worth noting that, unbeknownst to us, our family was not going to come to where we were, they simply turned around without telling us. And they did not warn us of the boat.

    We paddled back to a boat, singing bopping tunes since the go pro lost battery (we can do a mean Mamma Mia 2 “Knowing me knowing you” duet) and finally caught up to our family as we pulled into a beach.

    At this beach, I snorkeled a little, didn’t ultimately like it, and went to hang with my tanning sisters.

    We were all half in half out the water, and it was very funny because I was leaning on my life jacket, and when the water would come in, it would make me float entirely, and when it would go out, it would just pull me away from the shore, before bringing me back with the next wave. It was entirely fun, and Lily said I looked hilarious and adorable, so. Life goals.

    Since it had been quite some time, we elected to head back. In the fjord, Tate and I decided to paddle into a small cave. It was… a cave. Yep. Still singing all the way, we fully paddled back, parked like pros, and hopped out.

    It took us twenty minutes to be all done, hand back lifejackets etc, but we were soon on our happy way.

    We stopped for lunch at a cute restaurant with an Australian owner who mum and dad were happy to chat with. He said they had many vegetarian stuff, including the moussaka. Dubious, I checked with the waitress, who assured me that it was vegetarian. Happy with this knowledge, I ordered it.

    Their fake meat must have been very realistic in taste and texture, because damn I could have sworn that was lamb!

    Does anyone know what vegetarian means these days?

    The food was rather tasty though, and afterwards they gave us a massive plate of watermelon. At one point, Dad was very disturbed by something that Tate said.

    But the time came for us to drive home, and similarly to before, the music was at times questionable. But when we got home, it was time to chill, mixed between reading, watching Percy Jackson for some (aka Lily), or working. I showered, and again got locked in the bathroom.

    I decided afterwards to hang out with dad outside and do a sudoku. I have grown quite bored of them, so many have I done, that I instead did some subpar yet still recognizable drawings on dad’s sudoku book of Le Poisson Steve which was a hilarious (in my opinion at least) French Instagram trend a few months back.

    The time came for dinner, and it was goddamn delicious. The twins made a salad and mmm it was so good that I asked for seconds, but there were none. I want to eat that salad for the rest of my life.

    During dinner some questionable conversations were had, and then fireworks went off! It was really pretty, and I decided that fireworks are one of mankind’s better inventions.

    But as the night grew later, I couldn’t find it in me to start the blog. I was feeling weirdly meh, I describe it as “restless leg syndrome of the soul”. It was weird.

    I can’t imagine what could have caused it, perhaps the barely five hours of sleep that I got last night?

    Anyway, so it was off to bed for me, and immediately lights out.

    And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
    Bye family!!!
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  • A floating head, unbothered by angry fish
    More floating headsFloating heads from afar

    That DAMN GINGER BOY

    July 30 in Greece ⋅ 🌙 26 °C

    Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s path!

    Today was a day that I can get behind: a chill day.

    I woke up, spread out in my massive double bed. My head was not on the pillow (sometimes they annoy me what can I say), and despite being lower on the bed, I had not even ruffled the folded towels placed on the end. That’s how big my bed is.

    Or maybe it’s a testament to me being small.

    But I chilled in bed before getting up. I checked the notes app on mums phone as I did this, and saw a note with a title that took me some time to understand, before I remembered: last night, Tate and I were up late as per usual, and when I left, I pretended to bite her foot, and she said, “Don’t eat my feet!” After a pause where we stared at each other in vague horror, Tate breaks into a shimmy dance, and says, “They’re not *seasoned*!” And pretended to season her feet. But she said it in a way that Schmidt from New Girl would, for those who know.

    It was so funny. I’m sure you can imagine my confusion when I saw that written down first thing in the morning.

    Anyways that story was probably too long, so I made my way upstairs, past the open door to Mum and Dad’s room, and I snuck up on Lily who was in the kitchen. Lily then exclaimed that she didn’t know I was up, since when she walked by mum and dad had said “morning moo moo!”. I was deeply hurt, so decided to walk by again, just in case, even sticking my head in the room.

    Nothing. My heart is but a shriveled husk.

    Lily loudly laughed. Mum later apologized and called me a “church mouse”. I don’t know what to say.

    Breakfast was decidedly not tasty since it was real milk which - refined taste - is something I have grown to dislike since being sort of vegan.

    Lily and I then had a vague argument about the pronunciation of a word, I can’t remember which, and I then asked Dad. Lily stopped him from answering, saying it annoyed her when I did that, and why didn’t I ever ask mum, and it’s the patriarchy. While perhaps true, I simply relied, “mum makes up words all the time”. Unbeknownst to me, Mum was behind me, so I jumped when I heard her say, “it’s true, but I feel like that’s a hypocritudity”.

    We laughed.

    But then Lily was laughing less because she was reading my blog from a a day or two ago, and she took a strong offense. Apparently, Max Verstappen isn’t her favourite, but rather Lewis Hamilton is. On that note, Dad made the same comment : he also prefers Hamilton to Piastri.

    What I’m hearing is that Lewis Hamilton is an f1 god.

    Lily also took offense about the two white dresses that we both wore, but she changed: they are very similar. Both “baby doll style and Greek white”, she says. I said I would print a retraction. Or just apologise in the blog. So. Sorry!

    At some point in the morning, Allegra got up. Mum walked into the room she was in, Allegra said “wait gang” (she has picked up the habit of calling anyone “gang” it’s quite funny), and Mum said “oh, sorry gang,” and idk why but I found it hilarious. So. It’s in the blog. Such is your plight that you have brought upon yourself by reading my barely coherent fatigued ramblings.

    Anyway, then I proceeded to die for reasons I will not disclose. So I fled my family to go hang out with my favourite sister, Tate. Who was asleep. Hence why she is my favourite: she can’t bother me.

    I read in peace for a while, but then decided to shower since the one here was the nicest in all of the places we had stayed.

    I struggled for ages trying to get music- my account would not connect on Tate’s phones and I knew she wouldn’t be happy if I played Taylor on her Spotify.

    Too bad for her, because mine wouldn’t work. So.

    She was indeed not happy when she woke up and found out.

    But a thing about that bathroom is that the lock is a lil’ annoying. In that when I tried to unlock it, the old vaguely rusted key wouldn’t budge.

    I wriggled it again. No joy.

    Three minutes of desperate attempts to get out of the damn bathroom later, I began to make my peace with living there permanently; I had music, one small window, what more would I need?

    One last hit against the door, and it must have dislodged something, because I could turn the key, and leave my prison.

    The return to civilization was tough. Society, being around people, after being alone for so long…

    Lily and Allegra had done yoga, so while it seems they have given up on their exercising dreams, they have never given up on Cassandra. Those who know, know (I’m looking at you Ali :)).

    After that, I chilled a while, then chilled with Lily as she did her makeup (it is always very satisfying to watch since I have no ability to do makeup; it’s very nice to watch Lily expertly navigate her eyes). I did paint my nails blue to match Greece , though.

    But we had to go out to the supermarket of the island, which was about a twenty minute drive give or take. So we all got dressed and ready and then we made our way out. We passed a fruit truck (the one source of vitamin C in the town? The only way to avoid scurvy (an illness that is objectively hilarious to me. Like, you can die. Unless ☝️ you eat an orange)?). Sadly they had no plums, Allegra’s one true love.

    We piled into the car and were on our way. Mum and dad decided they wanted some variety in their life and turned right instead of left.

    This turned out to be a rookie mistake.

    The roads were tiny. The turns were sharp. The parked cars had no regard for rules or the space necessary for others to pass.

    It resembled one way streets. Sadly, they weren’t.

    Two taxis appeared ahead of us, coming our way. Dad had no choice but to reverse through the narrow alleyways, as the taxis advanced.

    It was like watching a master at work. Like the birth of star. DaVinci painting the Mona Lisa in real time.

    We all stayed in breathless silence, as Dad navigated the streets and cars and mopeds.

    Finally, we were in a spot where the taxi’s could pass. One did with no qualms. The other had to stop, roll down his window, and basically call us “bloody tourists” but in polite wording.

    Pfft. As if he could do what Dad just did.

    Anyway, we then made it to the supermarket with little trouble.

    The supermarket was fun, we bought food. What can I say. It’s a supermarket.

    Afterwards, we walked along the pavementless road with fast cars and blind corners to the nearest bakery. Now as we were in there ordering a bunch of stuff and asking what everything was, this ginger lad, maybe twenty or so, came in to get a chocolate milk and that was it. He had to wait in line behind us for maybe five minutes, I found it funny.

    Anyway, we then made our way back to our car, drove a much easier route back home, and after a small amount of trouble at the small waterside road outside our house.

    And as this trouble was taking place, a guy on a moped passed us.

    And it was GINGER BAKERY BOY!!

    We found this so funny. This bakery is like twenty or more minutes from our house. So. How is he here???? It was very funny.

    Back at our place, we had some lunch, consisting of the pastries we had bought from the bakerei as I like to call them,

    During lunch, Dad made the old school friend joke, this time about his Irish friend, Dermot O’logist. It was rather funny. We then had a conversation about the twins’ thoughts on how one should respond to a compliment: apparently they think you have to say thank you and not “I know”. It got a little heated when Lily and I vehemently disagreed with them. Allegra’s exact words were “you annoying piece of sh**, you stuck-up wa**er, go straight to hell you ugly piece of sh**”.

    I said “I know”.

    But it was all in good fun, Allegra would like to state that she is not an aggro person, and after lunch we were back to happy chaps once more, although we were all shook to realise that it was 4 already.

    We didn’t do much for a while, since it is a rest day, but then Lily and Allegra forced me and Tate to go down to the beach that we literally can see from our balcony, we are just about in top of it which is very convenient. So we did, although Lily made us sunscreen in the six o’clock barely there sun, but we strolled down to the beach.

    And then I see a familiar head of hair, which of course I point out to my sisters.

    That DAMN GINGER BOY was at the beach!!!

    It’s quite funny how he is everywhere.

    But we all had a quick dip, mine was shortened by a fish that seemed to have a vendetta.

    You see, I was just chilling when I get a sudden pain in my shin, I’m thinking, did I kick a rock or something? So I look around in the water and I vaguely see a very small fish.

    Which proceed to swim at me at full speed and just crash into my leg again.

    It actually hurts a bit, so I got out of the water, telling my sisters about how I had been chased out by an angry fish. Tate didn’t believe me.

    Her reckoning came in the form of that same fish. She swam far out to avoid it.

    Lily laughed at me.

    Her reckoning came in the form of that same fish. She fled the water like me.

    Allegra was impartial and so was spared the immeasurable violence of such a small creature.

    We chilled at the beach, watching the pale ginger lad with a dark haired, well tanned family, wondering how he fell in with such a crowd, but Tate and I headed in since we had no desire to be there in the first place.

    We relaxed, I read, she messaged her friends, but Dad went out to join my sisters and bring them back, so they came home and installed chaos. Well not really, but still.

    I hung out with Lily in the front room, then went to hang out with Tate, then decided I would make dinner, but dad told me it was too early so I instead hung out with him and Lily on the balcony. I did a sudoku as we listened to the sweet sounds of Taylor’s TTPD. I nailed the sudoku. And every song.

    The time came for me to make dinner, and what can I say, I am an expert cook, but I do lack the Casswell skill of creating a recipe. I am a rule follower down to a T.

    The pasta salad was exemplary. Compliments to the chef aren’t good enough, as Lily says.

    I will spare you the end of her saying.

    We chilled during biscuit time, we laughed at Lily’s inability to dance nonchalantly, I showed off my two patented dance moves (the “Lego” and the “Swing” as they have been named), to the delight of my sisters: I famously can’t dance.

    We also looked for the mysterious light from yesterday (Allegra’s grandma who got set on fire and flown into the air, if you recall), to no avail. We did see the lights on the top of boat masts; mum declared it was to warn low flying planes. There was a moment of silence before we all laughed.

    Further discussions were had, for those who have seen Derry Girls then you know the character of Colm. Colm is Lily.

    She was talking about a reference, but went off on a a tangent and out loud wondered about if it was from bullet train, the movie, and how her friend quotes it all the time but oh wait, he says it in French so it can’t be from bullet train, but it certainly is something that would be at home in that film…

    It was funny.

    Then Lily got a laugh from dad when Allegra said “me and Tate, we’re on another level of comedy”, and Lily shot back, “what, a lower level?”

    It was funny, if sadly inaccurate.

    Finally a calm time came, I began to compose this here blog listening to the sweet sounds of Taylor’s ninth studio album, evermore. No skips.

    There you have it!

    And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
    Bye family!!!
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  • Peace treaty, if you will.

    July 29 in Greece ⋅ 🌙 27 °C

    Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s path!

    Today was a dreaded yet revered moving day, and boy oh boy, ‘twas one for the ages!

    So we woke up to the morning people (insert annoyance here) being once more obnoxiously smug about being awake. So the only weapon in my arsenal against these people is to be obnoxiously smug about being asleep, something Tate and I have perfected.

    So I gave half hearted thumbs up every time someone said “it’s r e a l l y time to be up!”, and stayed in bed for a good twenty minutes.

    Because we had two hours to get ready. This is ages.

    Indeed, after an hour, we were ready to leave, but we still had an hour left. So I downloaded some fanfics onto my kindle, my sisters listened to bopping tunes, and we did nothing until it was checkout time: 11:00.

    We almost forgot our magnets, to Dad’s great almost-sadness.

    But out we were, and here’s the plot twist: we had three hours until our boat arrived.

    There was one obvious thing to do for half of that time.

    Play giant chess in the square!

    Lily and I played vs Allegra and Tate, and it was a long, evenly matched game (in that none of us really know how to play well). Lily and I were losing pieces early in, stuck on the defensive. We were getting desperate as we sent our men to the battlefield and few returned. We did my know if they lived, died, or were held captive by the enemy.

    We took their queen, but lost ours in the process. We were beaten down. Weak. Near-defeated.

    It was out of necessity that a plan hatched. One that told of misdirection, distraction, and subterfuge. One bishop, one castle, six moves ahead. We planned. We protected. We subtly moved closer.

    We thought we had done it.

    Check mate, we said. We felt glee. Hope, for our people. The ability to win the war.

    It was snatched from our fingertips by a variable we hadn’t considered. Their king took our castle.

    We were ruined.

    It had been our last hurrah. We had nothing. A king a mind a few haphazardly strewn pawns. We had almost given up.

    Their castle, bishop and horse chased our king to near exile. We were in Check every other move. I have to hand it to them; they had a strong offense.

    But in a moment of luck, and blindness on their part, we managed to escape, take some pieces of theirs, and close in on their king.

    It ended in a tie. A peace treaty, if you will.

    Because it had been an hour and a half and mum and dad kept helping the twins and never us and it was exhausting and hot in the midday sun. And we needed lunch.

    So we abandoned all animosity and made our way to a restaurant, where I had a Greek salad! Yayyyy!

    The waiter forgot to bring out drinks so we only had them after the food was finished, but I can happily say that I am the owner of 29 can tabs as of today. Chainmail something, here I come!

    And the time came to mosey down to the docks and wait for our boat, which was late. We could not see it on the sea, we waited in the shade.

    While we waited, we saw the most adorable ginger three legged cat. It was really sooo cute, and I believe Allegra’s exact words were, “a ginger! Adopt it like you adopted me!”

    (That may be on me, folks.)

    But then, to everyone’s surprise, our boat came around the corner and it was quite funny because it was speeding along. That boat knew it was late. Watching it felt like a car chase in a movie m, in a way that I cannot explain.

    So we did what we did best, and speed walked our way onto the boat before all the other passengers in order to secure seats, which we did with glee.

    The boat ride itself was fairly chill, not as nausea-inducing as the previous one had been, and I did happily have peace and quiet since Lily had downloaded a movie in advance. No whining today!

    An hour later and we were pulling into the next island: Kalymnos!

    As we stepped off, I asked Dad a question, and he answered, but said he wasn’t sure, so “don’t quote me on that”. See, I was going to hilarious quote exactly what he said in the blog, and it would have been sooooo funny, and you all would have laughed because I quoted him when he asked not too…

    We are all missing out on just *peak* comedy here. If only I remembered what we talked about.

    But as Dad sorted out the car, and me, Leg and Lil read on a bench, Mum and Tate went to check out the sponge museum shop thing. Because apparently Kalymnos is the home of sea-sponges. And I also learned that back in the day you used to have to bring back a sponge from a dive, or literally die. “Sponge or skin” was their oath.

    How oddly macabre.

    But Mum and Olivia were basically given a rundown on the island by the shop owner, it was quite funny how Dad would say something and mum would go, “I know, the shop lady told me”. It had nothing to do with sponges.

    Mum also bought a loofa.

    On the car ride, I sacrificed myself and sat alone in the back with all the bags and no aircon, while my sisters were all in the middle. Such is the life of a middle child.

    Allegra loudly professed her love for trees (she is sooo her father’s daughter; just read my blog Give Puys a Chance to understand).

    And then we made it to our place, got shown around, and it is like three times as big as every other place we have stayed. Dad wittily joked that we wouldn’t see each other because we all had separate rooms.

    Speaking of rooms…

    There is one room that is quite small, just a double bed and a cupboard, and another room that has two sections, stairs between them, balcony access, a bigger double bed…

    Of course there were other rooms but they are of no consequence in this tale.

    So I bagsied the bigger room. This left mum and dad with the small room. They seemed so perplexed that I would actually say this and stand my ground. Lily tried to guilt me out of it. I held firm.

    I am now the inhabiter of the big room.

    And I feel vaguely terrible about it, but also happy: will this be the end of the series of unfortunate beds? Updates tomorrow!

    Since the last place didn’t have a washing machine, we had to do our washing here, so Lily and I made our piles, made our way to the washing machine which is outside, but then, shock horror, as I turned, it sounded something like this;

    “THE F**K???” From Lily.

    “What? OH CHRIST!” From me.

    For in our way, there was a big grasshopper. We could not defeat it. We resigned ourselves to our fate of being stuck with the washing machine for life.

    Legend has it our souls remain there.

    After a few minutes, I squared my shoulders, and took a running leap accompanied by a very undignified squeak.

    The grasshopper did not move. I don’t think it wanted to attack us. This did not stop Lily from doing the same as I.

    But then we chilled and it was fun and relaxing, I read a lil book with info about the Dodecanese,found out some interesting facts to randomly dispense to my family and or the blog readers during our time on this island (such as sponge or skin), but then mum and dad started arguing over little things. My sisters and I were just like “get over it, stop acting like children” because it was just the ridiculous squabbling and sulking of overtired kids, but what can you do.

    They made up eventually so all was well. A peace treaty, if you will.

    Tate and I stayed behind (we looked adorable, snuggling under a blanket in an armchair) as they went to the supermarket to look for food, they didn’t find much. Lily and Allegra still made a well tasty dinner including pasta, egg, and mushroom, so that was impressive. I got caught up on the news since I haven’t had my phone and I love reading the news, and also checked my messages.

    At dinner time, we laughed a lot, especially at one point when we Allegra said “who lives in a pineapple under the sea” and we all chorused “SpongeBob! SquarePants!” Despite having never watched SpongeBob, or at another, when we tried to explain the Swiss Cowshark Instagram joke to mum, and Allegra said Showcark. Hihi!

    We also got very perplexed over a light we could see low in the sky; Dad said “it’s an airplane”, Lily said “it’s a light on a faraway hill”, I said “it’s a bird! It’s a plane!” Tate said “it’s BlackPink!” Allegra said, “It’s my Grandma who got set on fire and flown into the air!”.

    Mum rolled her eyes at our crazy.

    But then the time came for writing blogs and going to bed, so here we are! Biscuit time was not had since the shop had no biscuits. What are we to do???!

    And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
    Bye family!!!
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  • And so began our stroll- mum looks like an npc
    We look so coolTwins in the wavesI was in a contrary, fauxlorn mood- enjoy the double chin and side eyeAnother double chin for the fansOnly I was aware of the photo, I think.TateLilyLeggyMe!

    Some very not repetitive journalism.

    July 28 in Greece ⋅ 🌙 26 °C

    Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s path!

    Today was a day barely worth reporting.

    No, I jest, I would never dream of leaving you, my adoring readers and philosophical travelers, wondering what we did on this fine Monday!

    Of course, I read as soon as Lily’s alarm woke me up. Ooh! I bring you an insider scoop! Rumor has it that Lily and Allegra Simpson, who were only yesterday commended for their dedication, may stop doing daily sport! Sources say that Lily said “I just hate sport” and “It’s lost its appeal” and Allegra agreed! Eyewitnesses tell us that they did no exercise this morning.

    More at 5!

    But then I remembered that I hadn’t my finished my blog yesterday, so I hastened to do so- I was just tooo tired last night. Whoops! I shouldn’t keep mentioning that I’m tired! My most dedicated critic has informed me that saying this “is repetitive journalism” and “makes for a boring read”.

    I would never want Lily to be bored I shall never speak of my fatigued state again!

    So here is some very not repetitive journalism.

    And then I did the dishes while the rest of my sisters did nothing. Nada. Nil.

    So understandably, when dad came in, he said “rumple is the best” and I was disgruntled at the cursed (pronounced curs-ed) nickname, so dad then said, “in fact, I would go as far as to say, Ruby is the best”, so I was very happy and rubbed it in my sisters’ faces with glee.

    But the happiness was not to last. I was told we were going to a beach again, but as you know, at the risk of sounding entitled, I am a tad tired of them and so I was vaguely put out at this news. Especially since my hair was looking great and salt water would just dry it out.

    Lunch was had, the potato pastries are delicious and I would die for them. Mum kindly gave me half of her’s, solidifying her status as my favourite mum ever.

    But Lily was not very happy for the same reasons as I, so she was looking to start arguments with everyone. Sadly, I am simply too smart and witty to be outwitted by her, so she did just get a bit more disgruntled.

    But she was arguing with mum, with dad, sort of with me, the twins were annoyed at the arguments so started arguing with us, it was a crazy moment.

    But then it seemed to pass, and Lily and I were laughing together, and we put on sunscreen, andddd then the arguing started again, over stupid things as usual.

    But as soon as we stepped out the door the arguing stopped.

    Twas another thirty or so minute walk, in the hot sun, my siblings and I played the song association game (someone says a word and you have to find it in a song). At some point Dad joined in, brought up Simon and Garfunkel, and then tried to sing one of their songs but didn’t quite have the words, so Allegra hilarious told him, “you Simon and Garfumbled that”.

    We all laughed.

    At the beach, I decided to not swim, and simply lie on my towel and read. I was being hilarious, if I do say so myself; dad laughed at me many a time, even if I do not recall why.

    The twins were swimming away, mum and Lily were frantically fending off ginormous ants, and I was peacefully relaxed, doling out words of wisdom such as “you need to lay down the law, and the ants won’t bother you!”

    A fun time was had.

    And of course, mum was picking up plastic from the beach to throw away, like the hero she is.

    But mum and dad tired of the beach, and the tides was coming in, so we packed up and headed off. The walk home was a long one, but I had fashioned myself a dress out of a sarong as I had yesterday, and I looked awesome. So it was allll worth it.

    I was offered the opportunity to prove my genius once more, as well as my collection of random knowledge, as I love to do, when dad asked, “I wonder if “dendra” has something to do with trees,” and I told him yes, because dendrochronology is the science of studying trees to figure out climats of the past etc.

    Everyone would be lost without me.

    Well, not lost, but they would know a wholeeeee lot less about dendrochronology.

    But no sooner were we in the door than we were back out again, after a quick outfit change and mandatory argument (Lily can’t stand anyone wearing a white dress if she is wearing a different white dress, apparently), and we headed to the supermarket to get necessities such as a sewing kit, which Allegra a s s u r e d me we would not find, and as she spoke, Mum walked up behind her brandishing one. Twas funny.

    And then it was ice cream o’clock! My favourite time of the day!

    I got a Ferrero ice cream since they had no regular chocolate. Although they did have Dubai chocolate ice cream, although I forwent that because since Dubai chocolate has become a trend, there has been a pistachio shortage.

    Look at me, saving the world one pistachio at a time. Commendable.

    Following this, we had a brief wander around town, looking into shops, buying a magnet and an “evil eye to ward off evil from our house” (I hilariously said to mum, “geez Louise, if you didn’t want me to come home, you could have just said,” but mum just looked at me and said, “ok”), and ambled back home.

    Now here I would usually mention f1, but Lily is the one who deemed it necessary that f1 be mentioned in every blog, and, as we all know, she is not a fan of “repetitive journalism”. I reiterate, I wouldn’t want to bore you Lily, so I shall never mention it again!

    What a benevolent author I am.

    I regret making fun of Lily since I am now telling you that Lily asked to watch Hamilton act 2 with me, which I did with glee, it was amazing, I love Hamilton and ofc my fave Eliza stole the show as per usual, but we only made it up until (spoiler alert) his son died, because Lily had to hop and skip into the kitchen to make dinner!

    I kept fumbling my vocabulary, as Allegra would say, by saying “the pettle or the can” instead of “the kettle or the pan” and this took me like five tries to get right. Anyway.

    And then twas dinner time, and the meal was scrumptious, Lily knows how to make a good pasta! Also mum gave me a massive amount of feta. Which I love.

    During dinner we watched the end of Hamilton, twas amazing, although Lily declared she liked the show but not the guy, he was “a pick me” and “annoying” and honestly? She might be right. He brought everything unto himself. So. If I was Aaron Burr I would’ve shot him much earlier in.

    But it was funny when during “Your obedient servant” Tate said, “I don’t get why he called himself A dot Ham, he’s just saying, “yeah I’m a piece of pig”.

    Lily and I laughed so hard, as we are won’t to do.

    But after Hamilton we watched something of less quality, being Naked Gun, which is the stupidest film ever, Mum and Dad found it hilarious, so it was all worth it.

    And then came bed time! So here we are now, at the end of the day as I lie in bed feeling a sense of accomplishment at having finished the blog before bed!

    And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
    Bye family!!!
    Read more

  • Brioche bread

    July 27 in Greece ⋅ 🌙 26 °C

    Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s path!

    Today was a day that I can appreciate because of a d i s t i n c t lack of sand. Yayyy!!

    So we woke up, twas fairly chill if cold. Lily has set an earlier alarm to do some sport with Allegra, so I took the extra thirty minutes to read before mum and dad’s alarm went off and I was supposed to get up.

    I did read for like, twenty more minutes.

    Morning people are the worst: so proud of it, of being “efficient” or whatever, that they have no respect for night people. See at night I am as quiet as a mouse, make no noise, reading peacefully, scared to wake any one. But Lily? She was singing, she was clapping, she was laughing… honestly. No respect. It is actually something that really bothers me.

    Anyway.

    At 9:58 exactly, we were out the door, strolling down to the activity of the day: a boat! But liked a touristy boat with other people.

    It was rather cool, though there was little space for the amount that we were, however we did secure a spot for us all to sit, so twas alright.

    We had some funny discussions, including one about phobias, namely tripophobia, and then I brought up aibophobia, fear of palindromes. We then tried to think of palindromes (racecar, redivider), and mum thought long, mum thought hard, mum said, “minutes”.

    We all laughed. Even mum, who was unable to explain why she thought that.

    Palindromes one, dyslexics nil!

    The boat was nice because the breeze was of the cool nature. Our first stop was some cool sort of cave/rock tunnel thing that you could swim through. Allegra and I jumped off, swam in panic (we don’t like deep water so much (thalassophobia? Jkjk)) and then mum was already off into the cave.

    So I said, “let’s follow her!” Allegra said, “No!” I said, “We can pretend we’re Regulus!” (Who drowned in a cave) Allegra said, “Let’s go!”

    Fun times.

    So we did swim through the cave/rock tunnel, it was gorgeous, the water seems to make one’s hands luminsecent. Good fun, I recommend.

    But then while swimming back, I saw the chain from the anchor and bkeurgh! There is nothing (bar Taylor Swift releasing a new album while I’m unaware of it (fun fact apparently she has filmed a new music video?? What does it meannnnn)) that I am more scared of than a chain or rope underwater. I can’t stand it.

    So I panic swam back to the boat: a sight to see.

    As we jumped off, Lily took some photos. Rather unflattering, they were. But good fun all the same.

    And then we were off to location number two! I made Allegra take some pictures of me looking great in the boat, and we played the word association game I mentioned a while ago (we started with “sunglasses” and “glasses” and ended with “superhero” so, we nailed it), and ultimately twas a fun, chill time.

    At the next place, we all got out, twas a stony beach. My sisters and I messed around a little, Tate carried me around, and then we all walked along the beach to a secluded area. For me and Olivia, who lacked shoes, twas painful as can be.

    But it was fun, my sisters and I sat on a rock and lamented the lack of smashes on the boat with us, dad fell over a couple times while trying to take our photo from the sea, fun times.

    But time was up, so we walked back to the boat. Mum had picked up some litter along the way, and swam it all the way back to the boat like the hero she is. Dad carried a sort of plastic carton/container thing, begrudgingly. Also a hero.

    Back on the boat, twas lunch time, so dad and the twins went to get drinks. They bought back Fanta for the twins and wine(?) for the adults, including me.

    I wasn’t the biggest fan. But then they bought our sandwiches and it was allllll worth it. Allegra had been looking forward to the brioche bread all morning, sometimes going so far as to shout “brioche bread” while we were in the sea. Twas funny.

    At the next stop, the water was gorgeously blue, but none of us siblings were in the mood for more swimming, we were a little chilly. I gave Tate a back massage, Lily read, Allegra tanned, and I then read too.

    There was an American family next to us that had two small children, and the girl was just dancing away to the music that was playing for hours on end, and her dance moves were, well, subpar? Random? Not very melodious? Take your pick.

    Of course the whole fam hastened to compare her to me, and my childhood dance skills. I couldn’t my decide whether to laugh or be offended.

    Anyway, the trip continued in this manner until we arrived at an island entitled Arki, thanks dad’s blog for the notification at the perfect time, and we were told to be back on the boat in two hours.

    So we stopped at a taverna, and Lily complained to us about how some waiters could not look more unbothered, and when she worked in hospo, she was always smiling . Or whatever. But the food was quite tasty, and I added four can tabs to my collection, so it all worked out.

    We still had an hour left, so mum and dad and the twins headed off to find a beach while Lily and I sat in the square, which was more of a circle, and Lily joyously began to watch the live stream of an f1 race. She had been looking forward to it all day and was happy that she would be able to watch it!

    I sat by her in solidarity, especially when she was a lil disappointed that the race was delayed by like, an hour, due to rain in the track. So.

    An hour later, the race hadn’t started, and we had to get back on the boat. We drove? Boated? Floated? off to the next and final spot, just a nice place where it was fun to jump in from the boat, and the American family’s dad dove in off the boat right after Tate did it *first*. So then everyone started diving, and he loudly referred to himself as a “divefluencer” and I was just so shocked at this blatant disregard for Tate, who dove first. But on the other hand, he is a straight white man, so of course he probably thinks he *did* do it first. In fact he probably thinks he is the first man in the w h o l e world to dive off a boat.

    I got quite annoyed and complained to Allegra. In French of course. Nothing as good as critiquing people when they can’t understand. The perks of being bilingual!

    And then it was time to head home. Lily’s race had started, so she joyously kept us updated on who was where (we all have favorites: dad likes Piastri, who won I think, Lily likes Verstappen, Tate likes Tsunoda, and I believe Allegra and mum couldn’t care less. Ofc, my favourite is Hamilton. Who moved from 18th to 7th place! Slayed, honestly.

    Anyway, as we pulled into the harbour, the guy played some bopping music so of course, being Simpsons, we were contractually obligated to bring out our best dance moves and do a sitting dance circle. Mum filmed the whole thing, and we laughed a lot. But the dance gods knew we would be too powerful if anyone ever saw the footage. We would be unstoppable, really, so said dance gods must have stopped the camera from working, as Mum did not actually film.

    I’m sure you can imagine how bopping it was though, based on the previous dance circle in Amsterdam, which you saw.

    And finally, we made it home, and were able to chill for real. Of course, I read my book, but quickly got distracted as the Euro cup football final was on! Ofc we had to watch. It was English v Spanish, which took us back to last year in Greece where we watched the English v Spanish men’s Euro cup final.

    But then Lily was making dinner and playing Taylor so, I made a choice since I am very uninterested in football, and I went and sang along to Taylor.

    I then realised I had to shower, so I did, and there are few things I dislike more than a lukewarm shower, but one of them is a cold shower. Which I had. As I like to say, I was Aaron Brrr, sir. Hihi.

    And then dinner was ready, Lily had made some delicious garlic/melted cheese mix on a fried tomato, which was a 10/10 meal, and we also had toasties, as we watched the Euro cup. They made it to penalty shootouts! And there was a lot of shouting at the tv (when they made one woman retake a goal and she missed) but eventually we all celebrated because unlike the men last year who failed miserably, the women’s England team won the Euro cup!!!!!!

    And then we were all tired, so I started to write the blog, and then Tate lay in Lily’s bed and refused to move, so Lily and I tried to coordinate ourselves to carrying her to her own bed, it ended up with Lily falling into Allegra’s bed, with Allegra in it, and Tate was dropped on top of Lily, but I had her legs, so I unbalanced, and it ended up with a Simpson pile on a disgruntled Allegra’s bed.

    Mum was not very happy.

    But I wrote the blog for maybe twenty minutes, and then just got sooooo tired that I decided to finish it tomorrow morning. Which I have just done.

    And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
    Bye family!!!
    Read more

  • Searchin for an urchin

    July 26 in Greece ⋅ 🌬 30 °C

    Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s journey!

    Fellow travelers (in that your spirit travels even if your body stays put; in fact, some philosophers say that you only need to read to be considered well travelled, but what do I know, I didn’t technically pass my philosophy exam, and they were all probably drunk anyway), it is a commonly known fact that the hardest part of the journey is the first step.

    A blog must be a journey then, since I can NEVER FIND A GODDAMN OPENING LINE!

    Now that that’s out of the way, I can tell you that I woke up in Allegra’s bed. This is because she made me move to her cramped single mattress on the floor with her, since my bed really squeaks as soon as I move. This annoyed a good amount of people, and Lily’s bed was the same.

    Plus, Allegra was really cold because the aircon was on so she was in dire need of a snuggle. Twas life or death.

    So I had a terrible sleep once more. I should rename the blog “a series of unfortunate beds” at this point. I don’t think I’ve had a good sleep since we got here.

    Anyway, Lily made me have breakfast with her, it was frankly much too sugary sweet (Kellogg and soja vanille, now everyone who knows dad knows he likes to say I am a fussy bugger, this is a fact, but I don’t agree with it, I prefer to say I have refined taste in order to uphold my pride, anyway, I only like one specific brand of soja vanille milk. And no other milk. So. This was not that brand. It was so darn sweet.)

    And Tate had Korean lessons this morning so she was confined to mum and dad’s room to do her call, and what did we do for like an hour and a half?

    We watched Hamilton act 1.

    That’s right, finally my whole family hath seen the first act of my fave musical! Yayyyyyy!

    It was bopping, no one else agreed really, I was still the happiest I have been at such a time of the morning.

    But the happiness was not to last, because after act 1 Allegra and Lily did sport while I read. This seems to be staple of every morning at this point.

    And then we had to get ready 🙁 to go out ☹️ which includes sunscreen 😢 and going into boiling heat of outside 😭.

    It wasn’t so bad though. While we got ready, Lily watched the f1 qualifiers, since she is now up to date with the past races and is ready to watch them live!

    Sadly my man Hamilton (Lewis, not Alexander) is not doing so good.

    But then we left, with no spring in our shuffle. This may have been due to an argument? My memory is hazy, and I cannot write down notes of what happened (cf: dad drove over my phone). So.

    But the walk was long, though I thought it would be worth it since dad promised me that we would pass some ruins, and I do love me a good ruin, but we did not. So.

    And it was uphill and hot and 2pm (cf: an activity done only by mad dogs and English men), and it was suffering, and we finally made it to the beach and had to partake in some uncouth clambering (I say uncouth only because I love the word and it was in my head and when I am tired (cf: everytime I write the blog) I have little filter so perhaps I question my life choices the next day. Anyway.) before we made it to our cove!

    It was fun. There were very many urchins though.

    We did some swimming and diving and some fun snorkeling during which Tate and I saw a thick ahh sea urchin, truly massive, luckily much too deep for us to reach, so we went back and told the tale to our parents.

    They then hastened to take a look, and dad was wholly unimpressed. He was like “tis a regular sized urchin, fool.” It was really harsh.

    But it was funny because every time I saw an urchin, which was often, I would say “are you searchin’ for an urchin who can give you ideals” (what can I say I am Hamilton obsessed) and Lily found it funny and we kept bringing it up, and when I wouldn’t swim with her, she called me “an urchin whose ideals she was not searchin’ for”.

    It was a whole thing.

    Besides that, Lily argued loudly and longly with mum. My sisters and I hate it because it is truly a blow to our reputation, we keep getting looks from people enjoying the quiet, and we sort of just look away awkwardly hoping that they understand that we are in no way involved.

    And we all tanned on a rock that dad at one point climbed up, Lily was very uncomfortable in her spot, but I had a perfect seat, and every time she complained, I could not help but remind her that I felt like the rock I was on was more comfortable than my mother’s womb had been.

    Not that I remember, but still. Tis the principle of the matter.

    Anyway.

    After a couple hours, we decided to head home, meaning another thirty minute walk, so we packed up our stuff, but Lily and I felt rather faint in the sun, so Lily declared she was hyperglycemic and needed sugar. With joy, she discovered she had a packet of sugar in her bag and offered to split it with me. I am never one to say no to sugar.

    I had more than half on accident, leaving her maybe twenty grains, and felt soooo bad. Plus I then loudly proclaimed that it wasn’t good because it was brown sugar (refined taste, remember?).

    Luckily, we had juice in the bag.

    The walk home was dastardly. A steep uphill in hot hot weather. Lily at one point almost pitched off the edge into a donkey field. Our discussions were long and random, including, but not limited to, the fact that we did not know au paires were still a thing, the future and how we could do anything, and (understandable?) sexism against men when it comes to babysitting.

    We arrived home and I thought that was it, we’re never going out again in the damn sun, I can relax (I have a thing against beaches, I don’t really like the sand or the sea or the heat. Which is stupid I know).

    To my ABSOLUTE HORROR we were going back out for drinks?? And I was thinking, it’s six? We’re having drinks? It’s so hot?

    And dad said I didn’t have to go but he l i e d. I didn’t ultimately mind.

    So we went out and I just got a sprite (which I am super happy about because I am collecting the lil tabs from cans so I can one day make chainmail). During this, we thought about dinner options. Lily said “I can make a salted tomato salad”, and dad h i l a r i o u s l y said “we don’t need to beat it up, Lil”. Get it?? Assaulted? Anyway.

    Drinks done, mum and dad f i n a l l y realised the time, and said “let’s just go out for dinner”. (I shudder to think about what they would have said I f I hadn’t gone out to get drinks with them. Probably the same thing. I would have been sitting alone, wondering if my family would ever come back). So we did, even though it was only seven, we went back to a restaurant we passed where a waiter had called out “are you looking for a job?” As a joke, and dad bantered with him a bit, saying he would if he could be paid in beer. So we went back there for dinner, and the man said he would give dad a free beer or ouzo.

    Everyone thought back to our first night in Greece when mum was “flirting” with the waiter and got free beer, and we thought, “dad saw the free beer, thought “hell yeah” and took up mum’s tactics.”

    It was really funny. And the food was delicious too.

    Many a funny moment was had, if a tad unsavory for polite company. But as we all know, tired Ruby has no filter so I am gonna put it on, idk be forewarned.

    So first you should know that Lily has corrupted us all by making constant “that’s what she said” jokes about anything. So when she said “it was hard and tastes kinda chickeny”, Allegra shocked us all by saying “that’s what she said”, and dad laughed sooo hard.

    My filter has kicked in and I have decided to save my own dignity. Too late for Allegra though.

    Yeah. Anyway.

    Other things worth mentioning during the dinner, a napkin blew past mum, so, behind her, and she looked in front of her, saying “where did it go?”.

    Not in front of you when you watched it blow past you, that’s for damn sure!

    Anyway.

    We then discussed my ideal 18th birthday and I just couldn’t think of anything but then mum had a genius idea which would honestly be my ideal birthday, but I shan’t tell you what it was teehee. I mean who knows if it will happen.

    Dad then got an extra glass of ouzo (Greek alcohol) which tastes strikingly similar to fennel, which is yummy. It did burn my lip which I had bitten the skin off on accident though.

    And then after dad took a suspiciously long amount of time to pay, mum’s words, we left and strolled back to our house in the Greek evening air.

    It was ultimately a fun time.

    Back at the house, we chilled and wrote the blog, had biscuits for some of us, and then partook in some strange dance line with my sisters that was hilarious, I think mum and dad began to wonder where they had gone wrong in raising us as they stared in befuddlement.

    As I wrote the blog on mum’s phone, I took the chance to message my sisters from mum’s number to inform that that they were her least favourite child (Liv and Lil) or adopted (Leg).

    It was funny.

    And that’s all!’

    And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
    Bye family!!!
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  • El twins, too cool to sit with us
    Me and lil, both disgruntledMum and dad, happy as can beIn the insides of the ship (never let it be said I am not always smiling)On the outside of the boat!Happy as clams

    Speed run

    July 25 in Greece ⋅ 🌬 30 °C

    Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s journey!

    Now I did receive a couple comments from my family yesterday that, well, inspired many thoughts.

    First, neither of my parents will have a successful music writing nor comedic career in the near future.

    Second, Ali I appreciate your compassion in a sea of mockery.

    Third, Tim your comments seem to be increasing in amount and randomness.

    And fourth, Allegra thinks my blogs are too long.

    Which I disagree with all day long until it gets to night time and I have to write my blog but I’m staring down an empty page and my eyes are closing and I’m dreaming of inspiration and the clock ticks closer to the later hours and-

    So I have decided to shorten my blog for this evening. Speed mode, condensed mode, activated.

    So!

    Today we woke up at an ungodly time, we cleaned up and packed up, I had a breakfast of granola once more but spilled some on the floor and blamed dad; I think I got away with it since mum made dad clean it!

    And then it was like no time passed before we were out the door and in the car and driving to a petrol station. Allegra and I were just choking on the fumes in the back, it was bad, we thought our final moments had arrived as we gasped for breath. I only half jest.

    And then back on the road for a forty minute or so drive punctuated by bopping tunes (mgk’s new song, sombr’s new song, Michael Clifford’s new album).

    Then we parked the car and strolled along the town to look for a magnet, and then we found one, and so we stopped for a drink. Lily was perhaps a smidge grumpy because she was arguing with the twins about a difference in dialect and accent in French between us and them, and the she walked right into a street sign, literally smacking her head like they do in cartoons.

    It was funny but don’t tell Lily!

    Now the guy serving the drinks was such a slow walker that when our parents went back to the car to get our bags, we saw the waiter arriving and I said “you’ll be back before he is” and everyone laughed. He really was super slow and unbothered.

    Drinks done and off we went to our ferry, there were a bunch of people waiting but we sped into the boat, secured seats and damn was it a choppy boat ride, it was side to side like an Ariana Grande song, Lily felt very sick and I suffered too because I had to listen to her complain for an hour and a half that she “hasn’t got anything downloaded”.

    Yeah.

    But I read on the ferry, and when we got off I debriefed the book with Allegra (we are reading at the same time and I have read it like 9 times and I just convinced her to read it a few days ago, so) and we agreed it is a really good one.

    But we dropped our bag off at the place despite it not being check in time, strolled about town, stopped for another drink, and here mum did not get what she had ordered, but when we told her this she hummed non-comically and listlessly in a vague agreement, smiling at passerbys. We then told her again and mum said “ah”. Without listening, really.

    She then asked where her brain went. It was a whole thing. It was funny.

    After that we went back to our place after a brief wander!

    And did nothing. We watched episode after episode of New Girl (a funny show, if sexist in the earlier seasons; I canny speak for the later ones) or read in Allegra’s case.

    Mum and dad worked, but when they had a break we went shopping for foodables, Allegra and I discussed the book, she and Tate called out a chip in my tooth which has always been there, don’t know why they’re only noticing now, and then after getting food, we went back and Allegra and I read still, tis a long book, and Lily and Tate got very bored.

    So bored in fact that Lily offered to watch Hamilton, but I was torn because I was at the best part of my book, so I said no.

    And then they went out with Dad to look into quad bikes, or ATVs as Lily calls them, too which I think, All Too Vells.

    But sadly fate is against us, no All Too Vells on this island.

    And then Allegra and I read some more until we made dinner, a delicious pasta salad, bopping out the three poetic Taylor albums, and yeah.

    Then afterwards we watched the very last episode of Ted Lasso (so far, season four is now in production), and yeah that was it!

    A speed run through our day.

    Finally I would like to further address the comments of my parents; I am not addicted to my phone, I don’t miss my phone, I don’t usually spend all day in my phone, I just sometimes complain since it is inconvenient to steal Allegra’s phone to look something up or mum’s to write the blog. And I miss my fanfiction, that I admit freely.

    So.

    Yeah!

    (Also forgive spelling mistacos as I call them, mum’s phone is much bigger than mine, my smol fingers are not used to the keyboard)

    And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
    Bye family!!!
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  • Crunch.

    July 24 in Greece ⋅ 🌙 27 °C

    Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s journey!

    Today began as many days do; with vague annoyance at having been woken up, but ultimately a sense of contentment, and perhaps peace.

    It did not last.

    Sadly, we had to get out for the day, and Dad gave us a time to leave, which was, and this is important to note, 11:30. Since it was 9:45, we all thought that we had plenty of time.

    This was not in fact true.

    Lily and Allegra did yoga, too tired to face the idea of a harsher workout, and again, I watched them from my chair, eating breakfast, and wondering at their misfortune. Olivia was woken at some point, and hovered like a ghost, as she is wont to do.

    At some point, the twins came I to an argument about the sea? I don’t remember much of why, but Tate hit Alger’s with the career ending line: your Mum’s sea, and Allegra was appropriately contrite, saying, “I shouldn’t have said anything.”

    Another day, another funny moment.

    But then Tate showered, and Lily and Allegra had breakfast and we all got ready. This includes the extremely laborious task that is putting on sunscreen, and what’s more, Mum was grumpy a little and made me turn off the bopping tunes we were listening to (cf. Gracie Abrams the nepotism baby), and the sunscreen smells strange.

    So bad does it smell that it sort of makes me feel physically sick and I don’t know why.

    None of my sisters seem to have a problem with it.

    Anyway, mum was getting antsy around eleven since she thought that was our target leaving time. So was dad. As previously mentioned, leaving time was 11:30. So. We were bang on time.

    We were out the door before target time, so yay us!! Dad made us go to the bakerei as I call them, which is, I believe, German for bakery, and once we had acquired lunchables we hopped into the car with glees and drove off!

    Lily plaited my hair during this drive and then all of my sisters laughed at me, and called me an egghead, and made fun of the mole I have on my scalp, and t h e n acted really surprised when I took out the plait?? Why were they surprised? Idk.

    But forty minutes of excellent driving later, we made it to our destination, which was a beach called the Seychelles (chelles), which had been formed out of a landslide apparently.

    Sadly, to get to this beach, one had to clamber down a steep and unwelcoming path. It wasn’t the least enjoyable experience, however, since there was a rope at the end to help one across the trickier areas.

    Down on the beach we were, and mum and dad weren’t feeling it so much since there was a tourist to Simpson ratio that was too high for their liking. But they let us plant our umbrella and swim into the sea which was frankly gorgeous, the water was just so clear and turquoise and I wasn’t even freaked out when I saw a rope at the bottom (something that terrifies me more than the average scary thing).

    We alternated between water and beach, had our yummy lunch pastries, jumped off a rock, “ran” in the sea, and snacked on some bros (there was one guy who we referred to as “the mermaid” because he just looked like a mermaid would).

    But mum and dad’s annoyance at the ever growing company on the beach did not let us stay for too long, and after a while we packed up and headed back up the steep and unwelcoming path.

    To get to the path we did have to pass in front of some very good looking guys so we tried to be as cool as possible- a failure since Lily slipped about and I scraped my leg on the rock, producing a smidge of blood. So. I think the twins succeeded though.

    But up the hill we went, Tate had my blue purse that perhaps you have seen in photos, which contained my phone, otherwise I would have photographed the graze on my leg to dramatise for the blog; I thought it might have been the most interesting thing that would happen.

    Ah, how I spoke too soon.

    As we made it to the top, I asked Tate if I should take my bag back. She said “nah, it’s cool”. If only she had said yes.

    We then get in the sweltering car, and I fix the radio (call me Tony Stark), and as we were ready to leave, I noticed a wasp on Tate’s window.

    If only I hadn’t.

    Because I I told Tate to open her door so it could leave, and she did, and then we pulled out of the car park and back up the road.

    Mere moments in, I asked Tate for my phone so I could photograph my very injured leg, but as she was looking around for what should be a very accessible bag, I turned to look out the back window and saw a little blue bag in the distance lying on the floor of the car park.

    “Darn and blast!” We were all thinking. “What I good thing Ruby realised!”

    And mum ran down to the car park to get the bag off of the couple that had found it and were attempting to call me. As she ran back up, Dad reversed down- no easy feat.

    Mum handed me my bag, and I was so happy, because it contained my phone, my kindle, my debit card, my id… and of course, my Leroy Merlin token. what would I do without it???

    And with renewed vigor, we drove off…

    Until Allegra noticed tyre marks on my bag.

    Crunch.

    And I’m thinking, “damn, we drive over my bag and everything is still intact? Impressive”, before I realised that I hadn’t actually checked that everything was infact intact.

    So I took out my phone, lo and behold the back has shattered for the third time (the first being last year in Greece, if you recall).

    “How funny!” I said. “At least my phone still turns on!”

    Which, to its credit, it does. The screen had not a scratch. But then Allegra points out that the screen is not exactly attached to the back of the phone, which has bent.

    Less funny.

    So now I am phoneless, which did make me cry briefly but shhhhh, and with shaky hands I looked to see if anything else survived the ton of car that rolled over it.

    My pocket mirror was shattered, glass shards everywhere. My hairbrush was destroyed. Thankfully, my Leroy Merlin token was justttt fine.

    And by some miracle, my kindle did not even get a scratch! I don’t understand how! It is as if it wasn’t in the bag! It works perfectly! How??

    I am so happy about that because if I had lost my phone and kindle in one go I wouldn’t have been able to read anything, which might have ended me.

    But yeah. It was with a bit of a heavy heart that I lived the rest of the drive.

    But at least the music was playing- we bopped out to some Ed Sheeran, to the chagrin of my mother.

    But eventually we made it to our next location, where they had thermal springs! Which were rather cool, the water was so hot at places, and it was rather strange to be in the ocean and to be really warm.

    Ooh, I almost forgot that dad impressed us all by reversing up a thin road with cars on either side- Ffion’s dad could take notes.

    The only downside was the teenage boys- a menace to society, my sisters and I concluded. They ruin everything. Just obnoxiously shouting and walking in your personal space and backflipping off of piers and walls and boats they don’t own for some ridiculous attempt at appearing cool idk.

    Attempt being the operative word.

    Anyway! We then stopped for a drink to cool down before we made the drive home, the Twins I got a milkshake and Lily got a ridiculously sugary slushie, and we ordered three deserts between six.

    They were rather tasty and absolutely gidomino in some cases.

    Lily started to feel sick since she had “too much sugar” (as if that’s a thing lol), so I accompanied her to the beach so that she could swim and feel better if she cooled down. She did in fact feel better.

    But then it was back to the car, and Lily is grossed out by sand (weirdo) and we were barefoot, so when we made it to the car, our feet were just black.

    Yuck.

    The drive was fun, I lamented not having my phone since I won’t be able to read the updates of my book or message my friends, but Lily’s questionable music taste (bopping at times, not so much at others, but that is all personal taste) cheered me up.

    Forty-odd minutes and five goats later (literal goats on the road), we were back home!

    We chilled for a while, watched the last episode of f1 with Lily, and then I showered because my feet were still black (oops).

    This shower is weird but I did steal dad’s phone so I could listen to the Hamilton soundtrack as I showered (the only place no one can stop me from playing it) so it was allll worth it.

    Just wish I had my phone though.

    And then I read for a little while longer, and dinner time was upon us, and the food (Monday night pasta on Thursday) was delectable, thanks dad, and it was blog time!

    I did steal mum’s phone since, well, mine is out of action. 😔.

    But now I will have to pack since tomorrow is a dreaded (more dreaded now that I won’t be able to have music in my headphones) moving day!! That means an early start.

    Much to my chagrin.

    And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
    Bye family!!!
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  • “Don’t put this in the blog”

    July 23 in Greece ⋅ 🌙 28 °C

    Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus, may you catch the goats that roam freely through life’s journey!

    Gosh, it’s been a while since I last sat before my screen to compose.

    “What?” I hear you say. “Hasn’t it been but a day?”

    Well, dear readers, you all seemed to miss the fact that yesterday’s blog was different. First hint: the title. It was “spot the difference”. A clear order, which no one followed. To be fair, very few people commented (shoutout to Ali, everyone’s fave aunt!!). Second, the title was not in the blog at any point.

    “Ahh,” I hear you think (yes I am a mind reader teehee), “that’s happened before, on Guest Star!”

    That’s right, you little geniuses! Yesterday’s blog was entirely written by the one, the only, Jessica Fitzroy Casswell Simpson!

    To be fair she wrote it from my perspective, in the style of my blogs, about my day and not hers.

    But honestly mum slayed, it was so good and so nice and every compliment she wrote about herself is true

    Everyone give a round of applause for Mum!! It was hilarious! I’ve never laughed harder! We were all chuckling in unison!!

    Anyway.

    Back to my blog.

    Today I was woken up by people with no respect. Aka my whole family (excluding Olivia and Allegra). They were loudly making coffee in the kitchen, and breakfast, and I, who had been reading until two in the morning with Allegra, was rather disgruntled at this. Since I sleep in the front room.

    Anyway, I decided to cast this aside and put a spring in my step, joyously making myself some breakfast and then watching Liky and Allegra suffer before me as they do sport, something I am so happy I don’t do.

    They keep being like “we are people who are committed haha, loser” and I level them with my patented unimpressed look, raised eyebrow and all, and say “but I am a happy person who isn’t in pain”.

    They still are floundering for a response.

    I am especially happy because Liky and Allegra listen to a lot of Taylor Swift at this time, free of my influence!

    Anyway, I then was reading the news and updating myself on the happenings of the world, as I sincerely LOVE to do, and I saw that Stephen Colbert said “go f*ck yourself” about Trump.

    So, needless to say, I swear allegiance to him now.

    After their sport, Liky wanted nothing more than to watch some f1, drive to survive. She is nearing the end of the released show at this point.

    As mum said yesterday, I am the better sister, since I watch this with her, but ten seconds of a Hamilton song and suddenly I am the devil.

    Complete with pitchfork and horns!

    As we watched, mum and dad said we had one hour before we had to leave. However, our episode was 50 minutes long, so the four of us shared a look, and came to an agreement.

    We would simply watch the whole episode and the rush for ten minutes.

    So we did, and honestly there was no need to rush since mum and dad were not close to ready.

    It was quite fun though.

    Now shoutout to Dad for helping me remember what my note “Liky and repeating and hamilton and f1” meant. Indeed, Liky always says “hamilton just repeats over and over, I always give you new facts about f1!” And dad then said, “isn’t that what you said yesterday?” Because she did.

    Who’s repeating over and over now?

    But the time came for us to finally leave, much later than target time, and Allegra and I were the unlucky children that had to sig in the back. Now these seats are whatever the opposite of coveted is, despised I suppose, since there is no space and no airflow.

    And on a longish drive, this is not ideal.

    Plus, we both ended up feeling really queasy (a word that I love!).

    It seems that this drive was enjoyable for few of us, since due to the fact that Allegra and I were out of action, we were quite quiet and altogether the Simpson family was having a peaceful, silent-ish drive.

    Expect one of us, who, apparently, can’t deal with silence.

    At some point, Liky just exploded in annoyance and whining and “I hate silence and I hate that it’s hot and I hate long drives!”

    Mum blames the adhd.

    But you know Tate is annoyed when she says “you little twerp!”. Now if you know Tate, you know she is peaceful by nature. But to call Liky a lil’ twerp? That is a testament to the negativity that filled the sweltering car.

    Mum and dad were quite happy though. With their leg room and aircon.

    Have you guys ever seen penguins, the hilarious Madagascar spin-off movie? If you have, then you know the scene I’m thinking of.

    I should move on.

    We drove all the way to Naz beach, but after parking and getting out, and bringing our beach bags to the top of the long path down, we saw the tourists, we saw the smallish size of the beach, we saw the long road down which would likely prove to be a l o n g e r road up, on an unrelated note, I saw some ruins and loved that, and then we promptly turned around.

    Back in the car we were, this time Leg and I were in the middle. We drove to some beaches we had passed on the way, stopped at a pie place that had greek pies (I got a mushroom pie, it tasted like a ratatouille lasagna, which is like my two favourite meals), and once more unto the beach!

    N.b. This is what dad said he would use as a blog title that time when we were in Paris and he never did so, take that dad.

    The beach was rather nice, the ocean was gorgeous as usual, and a lovely temperature. The only problem was the lack of shade!

    But no matter, we had our umbrellas!

    And as dad was twisting one into the ground, his hat began to slide off his head, and without breaking a sweat or stopping his umbrella twisting, he puts out one hand, snatches his hat from midair, puts it back on, and keeps twisting.

    The man didn’t 👏 even 👏 look 👏 up!

    A master of all skills.

    And mum also proved her genius by building us a sort of fort out of the sarongs and umbrellas, providing the most shade that that beach has ever seen. I think Dad said it best: we could come back in 2000 odd-years, and that fort would still be standing.

    Then my sisters tanned and I stayed in the shade, and we sometimes swam, and Allegra tried to drown me claiming it was an ab exercise, but the laugh on her face and the water in mine sort if gave away the lie in this, and we kept getting attacked by “sea lice”, and Liky swam out to a buoy…

    A lot happened.

    Oh, and there were turtles in the river!! Adorable turtles! Sometimes baby turtles! Dozens of cute turtles!! I can’t stress enough that there were TURTLES!

    But after a couple hours or so, we had to move on due to pesky work calls on my father’s schedule (pronounced shedule, of course).

    So we packed up, I guess 2000 years must have passed since the fort is no longer, and we made our way to the car and then to the nearby town, and my sisters got ice cream, which I forgoed (is that a word? Forwent?) in favour of FRESH ORANGE JUICE mmm I could die for some fresh orange juice how lucky am I that I don’t need to because I would.

    And do you recall the moment, not too long ago, when I praised dad for his control over his body?

    Well. Funny story.

    We were in a supermarket, and I go to stand next to my dad who contemplates a shelf of pasta. “Do we have pasta?” He asks me, reaching for some as he turns his head to face me. I don’t answer; not for a lack of knowledge on my part, but because I can see a disaster happening. My eyes widen. “Watch out!” I cry, but I am too late. My father has knocked over a dozen pasta boxes. They loudly clatter to the floor. Red faced and ashamed, we pick them up. Buy when dad faces me again, he only says one thing.

    “Don’t put this in the blog.”

    Welp, if I am known for anything, it’s my dedication to the job! Too bad dad!

    Why would he reach for precariously stacked pasta without looking, I will never understand.

    But we then drove home without further incident. Olivia and I sat down to watch an episode of the k-drama I am begrudgingly hooked on, and ten seconds in, mum said “put f1 on”.

    As they say in Spain, ¿qué?

    But yeah, apparently mum will watch f1 with her daughters but not a show of dubious quality in a foreign language.

    Perplexing.

    Sadly I had no choice but to make the switch, and 1 episode of f1 later, I was finally allowed to watch my episode of the k drama with my bestie tate!

    During this time, Liky made dinner for us, but I was forced to partake once the episode was over. Ultimately a fun time was had, I whipped out my best interpretive dance skills (always questionable; I was compared to the meme of Bill Hader dancing from 2023) and less so my cooking skills (I ate more feta than I put in the salad).

    Liky and I were perhaps crazy at this time, since at some point Liky dropped the slice utensil that we were using as a wooden spoon into the pot of boiling water, and then I used my fork to lift it out so that she could grab it with a tea towel, and I said “quick! The steam hot me”, and she said “the steam hot me too!” And we laughed.

    It is worth noting that this is on top of the words “I guee” and “I true” that we have already been using for agreement due to previous mistakes.

    Anyway.

    Also Allegra has declared me a “meanie” since the fanfic I kept begging her to read, that I promised wouldn’t make her cry, well, made her cry. And she is only halfway through. Mwahahaha *strokes cat menacingly in a spinny chair*

    Dinner was finally ready, we had made a strange mix of pasta and potato and peppers and tomato and cheese and lemon, that was deeeeeelicious. Yummerdums, as I like to say.

    Liky really does have the Casswell Concoction genes.

    In fact we discussed this during dinner, and mum pronounced “conjure” as “cunjure”. I then informed her that it was cOnjure, with an O, mum refused to hear reason, so I turned to the patriarchy, aka dad, who agreed with mum?!?

    So I put forth the argument, “it’s like constipated! Would you say cunstipated? ‘Are you cunstipated?’”

    And then dad said “no, actually, my poop’s are alright!”.

    I rolled my eyes at the s h e e r immaturity.

    Finally at some point mum asked, “why is it called “drive to survive?”” To which I answered, “it’s because these rich, mostly white men will *die* if they can’t drive their wittle fast cars around in different circles! They’ll simply die!”

    And I only mention this because everyone laughed (bar Liky, but she was laughing on the inside) which is a rare occurence indeed.

    But then everyone went inside, and Dad and I wrote our respective blogs, I of course procrastinated, I talked with my bestie Andrea (it was a 10/10 discussion, chaotic as usual) and then sadly I had to end the convo to continue this blog.

    Damn you procrasti-nation!

    Also, I have referred to Lily as Liky throughout this blog because it is a mistake I keep making and having to fix, and I told her that is she didn’t stop annoying me then she would be Liky in the blog. So. Here we are.

    And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
    Bye family!!!
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