Couldn't write it

We decided to try the local pub -The Daintree Hotel, for dinner and a beer. In the village of Daintree, where the main business is farming and croc cruises, a classic outback kind of town, a shop, a hotel and another shop.

Daintree hotel mostly inhabited by modern day Mick Dundees. Except they just take tourists to photograph Crocs rather than hunt them. Fine array of bush hats and weird beards.

Into pub, bought a couple of VBs, my first for 35 years, and ordered some pork ribs and a Caesar salad.

Local ladies running a raffle for a slab (tray) of meat. Pointed out it wasn't much use to us so Caroline was given task of pulling out the winner. She duly pulled out the ticket of one of the organisers, also called Caroline.

At this point a local "character" (later we discovered his name is Leon Lennon Burchill, a small time tv and film actor.) took over the mic.

Listed as open mic night, it appears it is really a one man show. Leon arrived with a boomerang, a didgeridoo and a karaoke set. After the joke about a boomerang that doesn't come back (a stick) he announced he would start with requests for songs. "Any requests?" He asked. "Yes, play the didgeridoo." Was reply.

So after explaining his celebrity status (was invited to UK by queen for jubilee, knows Angus Young (very shy) and "many other celebrities" he plays a burst of didgery.

While listening to the didge, I asked CW what would be her karaoke song. Leon stars off with some mild ballad on Karaoke. CW refuses to even countenance the possibility of karaoke. I reveal mine is Ring of Fire, by Johnny cash.

10 seconds later Leon fires into Ring of Fire. With no contact from us. Next up, some requests "Sweet Caroline". He declines and instead plays some Dire Straits, CW favourite band.

Excellent ribs and corn on cob. Recommended.

Turns out Open mic night is really a Leon Karaoke juke box. Tad sad as he ends up singing and talking to an empty restaurant as everyone sits outside.

Very Oz family next table. Teenage son with king mullet.

I have in my head a childhood poem about a cassowary, was this it?

If I were a cassowary
On the plains of Timbuctoo
I would eat a missionary,
Cassock, bands, and hymn-book tooLæs mere