Paris Sucks

We landed in Paris today at 1am after a 2 hour delay in Split airport. We almost got to board but a crew member was hurt and we had to wait longer. Our air bnb was close to Eiffel Tower so it was an hour drive from airport resulting in a 2am arrival (1st reason Paris sucks). Our cab driver even stopped to gas up on the way to our place. We encountered an only speaking French receptionist at the bnb building and he was very rude (not surprising, classic French people)( 2nd reason Paris sucks). We then we’re getting ready for bed and Matt found the biggest moth we have ever seen and it started flying around. Sarah has to be called to swing a towel around until she hit the moth to the ground (3rd reason Paris sucks).
After confirming it was dead and disposed out the balcony we settled into bed and fell asleep with no alarms set. Waking up around 9am (the same day) we got ready and went to find a spot for brunch. We clicked the first floor button in the elevator and the door opened to a wall. We definitely thought we were stuck in the elevator but we’re able to change our plan to floor 2 (4th reason Paris sucks). After eating and drinking finally hot coffee as it wasn’t 30 degrees out, we walked to the Eiffel Tower. This was amazing to see and we admired how big it was. Kandis then used the wildest bathroom of the trip. It spoke in French to her, cleaned itself after every user and took 30 minutes for a 5 person line (5th reason Paris sucks). In that time Matt and Sarah enjoyed the Eiffel Tower views. We had amazing pastries but Paris fought back and the wind took Matt’s treat off our bench and onto the ground (6th reason Paris sucks). Then we explored the air bnb pool on the 32 floor (realizing the “360” views” does not include a window viewing the Eiffel Tower)(7th reason Paris sucks). Needing a chill day from busy Paris streets we went to see Oppenheimer. After the movie we came back to our place to find our apartment smelled bad. On the walk back we witnessed an unexpected couple 30 ft in front of us get a bucket of water dumped on them by hooligans on a bridge above. They were drenched and the wet man chased the kids who dumped it on them (8th reason Paris sucks). Now back to the room smell, turns out Matt for the second time left a fan sucking in gross air throughout the room. Kandis and Sarah stuck their heads out the window to avoid the smell. Matt had magically turned the room into smelling like a men’s hockey room in one afternoon. We cracked some wine to handle the smell and process how much Paris sucks. We headed to the market to get more wine then off to the Eiffel Tower for a night view. During our wait to see the sparkles so many people attempted to sell us wine and tacky light up towers (9th reason Paris sucks). We denied these requests in creative ways since we had our own wine and snacks. After seeing the twinkle lights we returned home to realize our tv supports everything but Netflix (10th reason Paris sucks). We put Youtube on with videos about Italy and Matt used his bolognese pasta and the fan to make a room air freshener and we pretended like we were back in Italy.Les mer