Natural therapies

A couple of weeks ago in the Serengeti I came down with a cold and a cough. In my medical kit I had some antihistamines and paracetamol so I dosed up the best i could and just got on with it. Over dinner one night my guide asked me why I hadn't told him I was sick and I said I had medicine and was going to be ok. He shook his head gently and said, but I could have given you elephant dung tea and you would be better now. Elephant dung tea fixes lots of things. The worst had passed so I stuck to my own remedy.

Our truck is an enormous imposing vehicle with shock absorbers that could withstand a major earthquake. It bounces all over the road like a rubber ball and I have seen it flip a human or two into the aisles while taking a corner on a mountain in Tanzania, or across an undeveloped patch of road in Malawi. I have bruises in random parts of my body from banging into the walls and despite the overly sedentary lifestyle of long drives, my arm muscles are still able to hold me stable. And even though this sounds like the stuff of nightmares, this experience is known as the "African Massage".

This morning though was the kicker. I rose early to catch the sunrise and fish market on the beach, it was beautiful and I was sitting peacefully when a lovely local man sidled up beside me and pulled up a patch of sand. After the mandatory, where you from .... ohhh kang-gar-rooooo conversation, he asked where was my husband? I politely told him I don't have one and without skipping a beat, he told me "I can help you". Now it's not every day someone comes up to you on the shores of Lake Malawi and offers a solution to the obvious problem of not being able to find myself a member of the opposite sex, so I curiously asked "how will you help me"? Mr Malawi then told me for $20, he would take me to see the village medicine man. Dr Malawi (medicine man) would mix up a Potion and I would have to drink it and a husband would appear, just like that. Knowing I have nothing in my medical kit that can produce the same result, I asked him if the potion had a name. "Yes, it is called Love Potion........number 9".

Of course it is. Pass the elephant dung....Read more