Thursday 5th March, Hariharalaya, Siem Reap

Luca and I have just attended a 6 day retreat together and we have both been blown away by the experience. I have come away overflowing with happiness, feeling fresh, free, at ease, thankful and 'here'. It exceeded expectations in almost every way!

First of all I am very very glad that we experienced this together, and that Luca loved it too. Being there with all the space of separate individuals (not needing to sit together, or to know where each other is, or who the other is talking with, and about what) but also as a couple that belongs together (watching Luca in conversation with others, noticing him around and about in the activities, sharing a room and sharing some most important stories) warmed my heart. For me, this is part of the reason for this mega trip in the first place. He's a good'un, is Luca. I like him.

The retreat was really beautifully created in every way. I wanted to use the word 'curated', but that is too fancy, I know I know; however it does carry the feeling of the considered, attentive approach to everything, from the moment we stepped through the gates - being welcomed by name with smiles, swathed around the neck with a khmer scarf, refreshed with an iced tea drink, all the while surrounded by live khmer roneat music (think boat-shaped xylophone, and what sounds to our rigid western ears like random pinky-ponky notes!) - to the final sharing circle, celebration dance, petal shower, the group ritual at the gratitude tree ... and the swiss-roll-group-hug. We gave our phones in on arrival, for a 'digital detox' (no contact with external events, people or entertainment, no temptation to use a camera lens to avoid experiencing reality (!) ... and therefore no visual record of it all (apart from some like these, by the staff photographer)). Instead of clocks, a gong for time-keeping - for waking, for meals, for sessions. How freeing that was! Barefoot throughout: how simple, quaint ... and pleasing.

The heart of the retreat was the invitation to 'be present'. Yoga, not for stretches and poses but to cultivate outer and inner poise. Breathing practices, not to teach fancy methods but for a sort of self-tuning. Meditation, not because it is 'spiritual' (whatever anyone might understand by that word) but for the practice of inner and outer stillness, to be centred and at peace. That is a wonderful way to live.

Do I need to justify to you my participation in this weird and wonderful retreat? The buddhist monks' blessing, the visit to Angkor Wat at the full moon, with sunrise meditation, silent and barefoot among the clattering and chattering photo-snapping crowds? The fire ritual, the incense, the chanting, the ideas about chakras and auras and more, the activities-unfamiliar-in-modern-western-christianity? The 5-rhythms 'ecstatic dance' night, the ice bath, the vegan food, the drum circle? And the 'holy cow' (Aruna, who loved to be petted like a cat does, all head bowing and 'ooooh, a bit more just here please, yesssss'....)?

How can I express such experiences adequately? If my words seem lumpy or strange, do try at least to sense the loveliness it all, and to understand what motivates and moves me, and feel free to ask about it. For me, it was the good stuff; this is what it's all about. I don't have to have the same worldview, concepts of God or practices to find inner depth and peace when seeking together to be true and real.Read more