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anna on the camino

Une aventure de 47 jours par anna-being-anna En savoir plus
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  • Début du voyage
    18 avril 2024
    anna-being-annaanna on the caminoanna-being-anna
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    Bayonne: the adventure begins

    18 avril 2024, France ⋅ ⛅ 15 °C

    Day 1
    I arrive in Biarritz, but my rucsac doesn't make it! So the adventure begins with nothing on my back, and the opportunity to do anything I like. The airport palm tree makes me feel safe, comforted even; I decide to explore Bayonne for the day (the next flight from Stansted arrives tonight), which wasn't on the itinerary at all but is close to here and said to be really beautiful. Bonus! 1 hour's walking ahead. Hooray for the Camino!
    En route, a Carmelite nun at the convent door: 'vous pouvez entrer l'eglise pour prier'. Silence, warmth, depth. I lie on the stone floor in tears, no clear reason why, except 'everything'; the sense of embrace, peace. I breathe ... relief.

    A wander through a very beautiful and fashionable city, a baguette at the side of the river, encounter with my first Spanish pilgrims (I almost understood them!), a kindly welcome in a private pilgrims' hostel and my first pilgrimage stamp. A nap, and then the very welcome email confirmation that my rucsac had reached the airport. A galette de sarasin in the evening sun at the ocean in Biarritz, with a glass of Breton cider. Happy, happy adventuring!

    Jürgen, retried orthopaedic doctor from Köln, Camino Frances. Veronique, my host ('le basque est stupide! Est-ce que on parle latin en Italie?!': a political tirade. My french is pretty good, it seems, to understand all that!). Tatiana and Serghei, not yet so lucky with their missing luggage from Canada/Moldova, Vamino Frances. Camille, French pèlerine at the Refuge des Pèlerins, Camino del Norte.

    I have such a 'story': it seems to be complex and wonderful and awful; but so too - I have to presume, whether disclosed or not - does any individual. And so does every tree, every flower! What a wonder.

    There's welcome for me from so many directions.    En savoir plus

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    via St Jean de Luz to Irun

    19 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☀️ 19 °C

    Day 2
    Catching up with my original itinerary by using the local bus, I was able to set out on foot from St Jean de Luz where I found my first yellow Camino waymarker. Fabulous feeling! A lot of asphalt walking, but I managed to find a path through the middle of the traffic-y roads in proper countryside, mountain views to the south and coast to the north (of course). Nothing to do but walk and breathe and laugh and sing, and think, and not think! I like the sense that the path is hemmed in by hills and sea. I picnic in the shade of a tree. Feels like gifted tree; it's 'my' tree. There's only one decision to make, and that's to go ahead. Simplicity.

    Someone opened her car window and shouted 'buen camino!', for my first time, and it made me sob, actually, that feeling of belonging to this something-special that I'm at last IN.

    And, as has often been the case at the start of my long treks, I notice the wonderful vibrancy of the flowers, trees and grasses in the verges. Some of the plants produce just one flower head, modest or glamorous, tiny or grand, others shoot out many stems or trunks with multiple flower heads or branches. I'm thinking about the personality of each, and about human personalities that possibly match. What does my sense of myself suggest I am like? Random thoughts, fun.
    Irun city is buzzing at dinner time, families and couples and groups of people of all ages, kids playing footy in the square, people sitting at outside tables - in coats, as it's pretty chilly, especially in the wind - and I am bemused at not finding somewhere to eat that isn't primarily a bar. But it's fun wandering around; I'm probably missing something key about Spanish food culture. Perhaps it's just too early.
    Trying to read the menu and order food in Spanish is hilarious, but I manage.    En savoir plus

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    San Sebastian

    20 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☀️ 16 °C

    Day 3
    Up and up and uuuup and down and up and down and across the water by ferry, and Heike! And up and down. Icy sea swim...ahhhh.

    Pintxos. Very delicious indeed.
    27km. Content.

    Michaela and Sophia at breakfast, Austria, Camino primitivo, alarm clock! 2 brothers from Manchester. Silent man from Taiwan. Italians from Milan. George from California, Ines from Bayern. French man, hard core, millionth Camino (or something), Rome - Santiago. Chiara, Verona, walking almost asleep.En savoir plus

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    Zarautz

    21 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☀️ 13 °C

    Day 4
    Just walking.

    When did YOU last make a daisy chain?

    How I love the unfurling ferns: they stand so tall, and let their branches and leaves stretch out little by little.

    Happy.

    "Mr Cheese" / Kyesoo, Korea: " 'anna' means 'do you know' in Korean!"
    Hanna from Münich/Bordeaux.    En savoir plus

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    Deba

    22 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ⛅ 11 °C

    Day 5
    Found an angel in my coffee this morning (not the little one: that was given to me by a friend to carry with me) so obviously it was gonna be a good day!
    Plenty of variety in the landscape; we were mostly more inland, but with frequent views of the sea behind trees and hills. Wind very chill. Didn't swim on arrival although it's the last day at the coast for days ... far too cold.

    I spied penguins! Can you?

    And sang in a fabulously resonant church (thanks Heike for the inspiration), took lunch in a field of newly mown hay, found a type of hellebore I've never seen before, and petted an extremely appreciative dog that was lying in the road at risk of being run over.

    Two Japanese brothers (with Google translate) who were impressed that I have walked the Kumano Kodo before. Adrian from Ireland, twice PhD, house husband, and an intriguing story of friendship with a Japanese-French couple. Drank beer and shared peanuts with Xavier from Bordeaux, walking (very slowly!) with a 20kg pack which includes a tent. Spanish pilgrim with guitar (I was angling for a music session). Dinner with Fiorella and Sergio.    En savoir plus

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    Markina-Xemein

    23 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 11 °C

    Day 6
    I'm feeling nothing, and that makes me feel frustrated! I suppose this is just the phase of settling in and that's okay: it's finding out if my clothes and everything suit what I need, it's discovering which bits of my body hurt or don't, it's seeing who else is around ,and how it all works, day by day by day. I reckon next week will be a bit of a shock when I will start sleeping in hostels instead of these lovely private rooms Heike has booked for us. But perhaps there will be a better sense of belonging to the pilgrims.
    Cold, wind and rain demand resilience. We avoided the long and slippery hill route today in the challenging weather conditions, so took the coastal path for 10 km to Ondarroa, and then a bus to Markina. I didn't expect this cold and I'm very unsure that my kit is sufficient.
    A most unusual church building at the Ermita de San Miguel de Arretxinaga - why these rocks?
    Heike had booked an Airbnb apartment with a kitchen, so for supper we ate in, Karaoke fish from the fishmonger in Mutriku, and scallops in their shells: I now have my pilgrims' symbol to carry!

    Uninspired to paint. Squeezed out some 'thunks' I've been sort of thinking instead.
    ... am I part of this environment, or separate from it? Incidental, unimportant; or significant, maybe, just because I'm here? Is my passing through any more (or less) consequential because I'm human - compared with sheep, snails, cows, donkeys ... or flowers, winds, sun, rain?

    Walking together is nice, but I need to be alone. Next week will do. I want to gain more inner clarity and simplicity.    En savoir plus

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    Gernika-Lumo

    24 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ⛅ 15 °C

    Day 7
    What a beautiful day! Perfect walking temperature, neither hot nor cold, and constantly changing but always always always pleasant, awe-inspiring, delightful, superb landscape, up and down hills, along the river, through villages, beside churches, through forests, and in and out of cafes!
    Nearly 30km/19miles, no great effort. My favourite day so far.

    I had thought to not post today, apart from the footprint, but somehow I'm feeling brighter and more at ease today and I'm inclined to make at least these few comments.

    Perhaps this has to do with the conversations and friendships of the day. With Heike, in any case, thanks Heike, just doing these days together. And with Adrian, from Ireland/ France, who gave me the gift of a real conversation today; what an unusual - but somehow familiar - chap. Very direct with his questions: "What stops you drowning? Find your joy, it's in your story; tell your joy, that's how you find it! ... I have hope for you”.
    Kyesoo called me his angel, after I helped him book accommodation for tonight when he thought there was nothing available for miles.
    Igor, Poland, and Luca from Belgium, sent 'happy birthday' to Nico!
    George, again, and of course 'our' Italians, Fiorella and Sergio, who we seem to be leapfrogging every day. Great fun.    En savoir plus

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    Lezama

    25 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 13 °C

    Day 8
    Philosophical reflection warning!

    Wondering about joy.

    Perhaps joy is after all there for the seeking and the seeing, or the letting be, the receiving ... is there a choice to be made in my attitude? In openness to what is (around me, and inside me) (which may not be at all the same as what I wish it would be), or in readiness to accept who and what presents itself to my (rather little) field of attention?
    It becomes apparent that there probably is a choice.
    I have a lifelong tendency to melancholy. What if I were to not (/no longer) let this define me, but instead just let it be there, alongside, say, this joy I wonder about; both holding hands, even, and walking together along the way?
    I come back to two words - attention and intention - which have become important to me in my spiritual practice in recent years.
    It helped me today to stop occasionally in order to pay attention to something in particular - the silence, the birdsong, a fern, a stream, the mother pony with her twin foals, the local woman and man in conversation, a farmhouse, a fellow walker. And to let the loveliness of whatever it was touch me. There is in fact so much loveliness!
    A couple of days ago I wrote about not feeling anything much apart from frustration at not feeling much. In this period, then, let me hold this intention: to practice giving things a bit more of a chance to enter into my awareness, and in that way give joy some space to enter in as well.
    I wish for this, to be sure. Verdaderamente, as says my father.

    Came across our first goodie table today, such as seen in the movies about the Camino! The lady was obviously looking out for passing trade, and hauled her laden table out to the front of her drive whenever someone approached. Such a delicious 'chocolate caliente', and a tiny pintxos of quince membrillo on top of local cheese with walnuts. It's fabulous when people chatter away unselfconsciously in Spanish and without regard to my understanding! Best way to learn.

    Some of the route goes through forests in, erm, active management; that is to say where there are men chainsawing branches and heavy machinery dragging bare trunks up the footpaths, creating ugly deep trenches of slippery mud. Just glad it wasn't raining heavily today.    En savoir plus

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    Bilbao

    26 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 14 °C

    Day 9
    Short walk, couple of hours. Bilbao is lovely on approach from the hills, and lovely still on arrival! We found a Mass in process in the vastly ornate church dedicated to 'Our Lady of Begoñia' (who?!) on the hill into the city, and I really really wanted to participate, so I just did. It was moving to be able to understand the 'happening', despite not understanding the language, due to the familiar form of Catholic liturgy. I experienced it as a belonging, and a being-at-home. Best of all was the end as I was leaving, when a little old lady whose face was full of light and joy reached out to me and said 'Santiago?', and just kissed my hand. I suppose I represent something to her about loving and following God, and it gave me happy-poignant inexplicable tears. A Camino 'moment'.

    There is something about a small city set about a wide river that just feels good, right, homely and professional at the same time. A bit like Basel (where I lived for 6 years in the 90s). A great atmosphere throughout the day, even before the buzzing night life erupts; many locals of all ages contributing to the energy, as well as enough British hen parties to fill a barn.
    The cathedral is very special architecturally, an unusual shape, and with attractive stonework, but the guided tour made my brain cloud over like the sky this morning, so I skipped most of it before (so to speak) the rain could spoil anything. The market hall is fabulous (oh dear, I'm recycling all the same words to describe my positive experiences) with meat and fish and fruit stalls. Oh, and the cafes with their pastry/cake/pintxos on offer. Sweet and savoury art on a plate! The offer is far beyond your typical British produce, in both range and quality. Really impressive.
    Thai massage ... oh my goodness what a treat after over 150km of walking.

    Joy ... "beside me, on my left and on my right" ... I look aslant every now and then, to see what I can see. And pause to listen to what's singing in the trees (Eurasian wrens! Eurasian blackcaps! (I have a birdsong app!)). And let the friendship of Heike and the kindness of strangers touch my heart. That's good. That's really very good.    En savoir plus

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    Pobeña

    27 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 16 °C

    Day 10
    Up and out shortly after 7, the city empty and the air mild with the promise of a clear day. Off I go, alone for the first time, excited, and yes, I notice I'm a little nervous. Not of the road or the distance, not of being on my own or the threat of others, but the bed question: if you want to sleep in the public albergues you have to arrive before the last bed gets nabbed by someone else! They don't take bookings. But on the plus side it's dead cheap, either by fixed charge or 'donativo'. You should give apparently something like €10.

    Took the east side of the river, a shorter route and all on the flat, so that I would have the strength to go beyond the official stage today (Portugalete) and get to the albergue in Pobeña. I hopped onto the tree-lined grassy verges when I could, so as to avoid constant asphalt; 13 km of riverside industry this side of the river, and then 11km of towns and bypass bridges was a heck of a lot of man-made underfoot. But I enjoyed the views, all of them! Dilapidation and new-build, snazzy-ed up or merely functional, the route was well waymarked and varied. Vast shipbuilding areas made me feel like a midget!

    Nipped across from the east to the west side on the ferry, legged it up the steep hillside of Portugalete, took an 'alternative Camino' path so as to find food and drink, stumbled across some (mad?) women (or just happy/excited/hair-down/having fun: it seemed to be a hen-event-cum-pub-crawl for the friends of the mother of the girl getting married, where the fiancée herself sat looking bored to one side)("mother-hen" party?) dancing to a Mexican band, so I joined them, of course, (and accepted a glass of cerveza - just because they offered) ("the Camino provides", they say, and I'm absolutely prepared to let it); found 'rosy garlic' in the hedgerow, so pretty, later found myself walking alongside Andreas from Köln so we finished today's increasingly rural and pretty route together. Back at the seaside!

    And I got a bed! Alongside Anna-Maria from Switzerland, with a worryingly bad knee, and Elizabeth from Mannheim whose Camino partner was forced to abandon the trip with bad health so is continuing (nervously) alone. And 20 others, or so.
    For me, all is well.

    Here there are others from Mexico, Peru, Ireland, Holland, France, Portugal, Spain, Germany... Isn't it great?!    En savoir plus

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    Oriñon

    28 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ⛅ 15 °C

    Day 11
    Long long day, too many impressions to note now. Decided to do the Big Hike, up the mountain instead of along the coastal shortcut; and was alone all day. It was glorious. Glorious. GLORIOUS.

    Lemon tree by the water fountain in Otañes; I took one to suck on and its sour-sweet made me feel really bright, buzzing, just 'yes!'.
    Santullan: stopped for a drink and bite at a bar, got chatting with a local who had studied in the US, met and married a Japanese lady there, two adult children now, etc etc, English teacher ... when I went to pay my bill I found he had already taken care of it!
    The woodland after Cerdigo, suddenly wild and rough after hours of made up paths, suddenly pretty, and intriguing, a distinctly ancient feel - tingling, almost - after hours of new towns and buildings and streets; suddenly right at the ocean, vast and really really alive. Perfect, perfect.

    What is this? Might this be joy?

    Courage to continue, Anna! Welcomed at the hostel with homemade soup and meat and fruit, with only 3 others, French, Jacques Joël, Bernard. For whom I had to translate.

    I'm really tired. 39km. Longest ever walk in a day.    En savoir plus

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    Laredo

    29 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 15 °C

    Day 12
    Great fun with the French trio; we walked together all the way here, over the hills and down to the beach. At one point I lagged behind to take my fleece off, and as the path was at the side of the A road I decided to get my little fife out and have another go at playing as I walk. (I found playing in the forest too disturbing to the environment). The breathing is hard!
    They were apparently completely delighted with me: they stopped, waited, got their phones out and filmed me as I passed! So we continued together the rest of the way, singing and whistling tunes and them letting me in to their in-jokes, all in French don't you know, great fun, great fun.
    A hot sun but cold wind on the wide wide beach. Didn't swim. Lazy time, because I wanted to stay at the convent hostel and join in the Mass and Pilgrims' Blessing. Very moving, no particular reason, just something real and raw and poignant for me.
    Dunno what's happening in me except that I know that to be here doing this is simple and good. I used to ask “where are you?”, but now it's perhaps “let me stop a moment to see you here”.

    The painting is lagging behind, which I'm disappointed about; but it's what is, so there's no point in fussing.    En savoir plus

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    Güemes

    30 avril 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 19 °C

    Day 13
    A hot hot day for the first time, a proper swelter.
    The hostel is AWESOME. A long-standing community of/for pilgrims, initiated by Ernesto who now at 86 likes to reminisce (ramble) to the visitors, in Spanish, before dinner; tonight over 50 of us. A real highlight of the trip, unforgettable. It's a 'Donativo' , which means it's free but they invite contributions, of course, and by it's worth a lot more than many commercial offers . A shared meal with wine, loud chatter in lots of languages, a lively, warm buzz ... just like it should be. Reminds me of summer youth camps, and church weeks away. A really happy place. This is how the world should be!En savoir plus

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    Boo de Piélagos

    1 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 14 °C

    Day 14
    Feeling a bit sick. Beautiful day, very very tired.
    Let it be what it is... Early bed

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    May 1st

    1 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 14 °C

    Wanted to reflect on the shift I experienced yesterday, after Güemes. It started so happily. Walking off alone but caught up by the four youngsters who loved my flute-ing, and fell into conversation with Fabio (Italy, Torino/ Nottingham PhD in atom physics/ San Sebastian, daughter Gaia), Daniel (Stuttgart/ grief over unborn child). I separated off when they took a long break to chat with an old friend; French older man (the translator in the pic) talked about Camino starting points in France and the Gîte/food experiences.
    Glorious cliffs above thundering waves.
    Long, long beach! Rain! Dry with my umbrella, and absolutely content, singing. Childhood songs. Glad that I live, am I. Morning has broken. Antonio, Antonio!
    Lois, 30 today.
    Boat to Santander, lovely Belgian couple with trolley for breathing apparatus.
    Cathedral.
    Soup.
    I'm loved. Hold my heart open, holding courage to not shut down again. Luca. 31 years.
    Tears. Thankyou, strong tree.
    Valle verde de Peña. Rockface ... hard, yet crevices permit flowers to grow, and it feels like mutual gratitude. I support you, you adorn me. Sweet.
    KyeSoo trudges past, we leapfrog each other; no chat, but our shared smiles encourage me.
    Lonnnnng last section ... rather unfriendly reception. Nice rooms, only 5 beds. Stumbled on a step.
    Video call with Luca. My husband. He's lonely at weekends. Yeah. I'm glad.
    A bit bleak until the French trio comes in and it's all gladness.
    Why didn't Jacques offer me wine?!

    Pierre, in the dorm: "what does pilgrimage means to you?". He smiles at the question. “C’est spirituel, et c’est le moment present”. Talked little but both sensed the longing and searching as well as the not-like-most-people experience.
    Some under-the-duvet tears, and sleep.    En savoir plus

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    Suances

    2 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ⛅ 16 °C

    Day 15
    Plodded rather today, realising that tiredness doesn't trump hopes, intentions, plans, but does change how I experience them.
    Some special pleasures along the way: bumping into the Italians again, Fiorella and Sergio (they took the train after a night in Santander and so caught up), so we walked together for an hour or two. They are great fun. Nuts, I think it's called. Probably not literally translatable! I said to Fiorella at the start that I was feeling fragile: “il mio cuore comincia a svuoltarsi” and in the saying of it realized it's the right expression, though it took me by surprise.

    Discovering I understand loads of Spanish, gradually getting my ear and my brain in trim. Hooray hooray! But I had to laugh: when trying to use speech translation to understand the menu, it seems I was being offered baby squid stuffed with kangaroos. Didn't bother to find out what it take was though, because I don't like squid in any case. My accent needs improving, that's for sure.
    Arriving at my Big Treat For Today: Santa Ana Casa Rurale, an actual hotel! A little off route, but I love the name and isn't that enough reason to choose it? So nice to have private space again after 2 weeks of sharing rooms with 1 other or with 10 or 20. I ate a proper lunchtime meal, slept, painted and wrote and meditated ... and had chocolate cake and read fairy tales in Spanish before bed. Great way to learn.
    Good day, almost all alone. Lovely.    En savoir plus

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    Comillas

    3 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 17 °C

    Day 16
    Today I made a voice note as I began to walk in the morning, just describing what I saw around me. I've transcribed it here, to give you a taste of what it's like to walk. Imagine this spoken. (I reckon I sound like Clare Balding in Radio 4's Ramblings).

    Cantabria is really REALLY green, and it's so ... so pleasant, it's just a wide open spread.
    Way over to the left in a huge long chain are mountains, with snow on the top of the mountains
    ... and closer to me here is just a bowl of green ... and gently rolling hills
    ... rolling is a good word for it ... it's a depth of rolling like the undulating ocean
    ... some of the fields are cut for hay already, which seems to me ever so early in the year ... there are smaller and bigger houses dotted about, which all seen to be cared for, improved ... although there are some that are fallen down, dilapitated.

    And this morning the sky is blue ... blue blue blue , pale, bright, deep, blue, with gentle clouds ... although they are more grey in the distance ... it's gonna be a scorcher of a day.
    It's blissful really.
    Walking round the other side of the flat mountain over there yesterday, with the industrial area and boatyards, and the estuary, was dry, and barren, quite ugly ... and arriving at Santa Ana was just .. just lovely ... it felt kind. The two ladies at the desk were polite, but the man was really kind, the one who spoke hesitant German ... that was really warm and pleasant, and all the people that worked there were attentive and sweet; that really helped make it a restful thing.
    I'm going through cow land, it smells of cow,
    ... and it's vibrant and verdant in the hedgerows ... speedwell, wild garlic, speedwell, red dead nettle, buttercups, dandelion, mint, fennel, little-robin ... so, farmland, but soooo pretty, the birds singing as well

    ... it feels simple ... simple and comfortable.

    (*AND, I later added: red, white and pink clover, dog daisy, sorrel, plantain, daisy, vetch, knapweed, horsetail, catsear, spurge, rape, hedge bedstraw, lesser trefoil, rockrose, stinging nettle, spearwort, aquilegia, curly dock, white borage, and occasionally blue borage, lords' and ladies' slippers)    En savoir plus

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    Pendueles

    4 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ⛅ 20 °C

    Day 17 The day of flowers.
    I have had a wonderfully happy day stopping at every new flower I spotted, taking a note and/or a photo, (and using Google lens when I didn't already know what it was). I learned a lot! Guess how many ...

    The BEST OF ALL was the bee orchid. Isn't it BEAUTIFUL?! Finding it today took me back to around 1974 when on a church walk one Sunday afternoon, and I (by anecdote) nearly sat on a bee orchid on Swifts Hill, near Stroud (where I grew up). We have the photo to prove my find ( ... for some reason it makes me feel a bit Winnie the Pooh-ish, but I can't remember why).
    And then ... at the end of the day, where I took the extra long route to be close the coast at last again ... unexpected-breathtaking-perfect green-swathed headland, rocky-difficult-glorious, fresh spring dipping pool by the waterfall into the roaring rock tunnel, cliff blow hole... oh my ....
    I did dip in the little pool, all birthday suit and pepperminty feeling.
    Sooooo happy.    En savoir plus

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    Pendueles 2

    5 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 14 °C

    Day 18
    Day off walking; a day of simple pleasures on the beach, writing, going to church (Mass, which was the celebration of Confirmation, with the Bishop! Great friendly feeling in the congregation, standing room only), talking, reorganising my things... and a return to this Best of All hostels. The right decision.

    Something that's unfolding in me is about having an empty heart, which is not the negative opposite of a full heart (full of joy or love, or overflowing), but a state of being, where the edges of my existence are coming to be less relevant, as if they didn't really even matter in the first place. Dissolving, like soap sheets for laundry. And that “I” find myself simply part of the Whole, the Other, the Rest. I’ve feared not knowing where my heart is, feeling its hardness, blockedness, nothingness; but somehow where I thought it should be doesn't matter anymore; it feels more just “me”. More belly-ish less chest-ish. More “essence”, less “element”. Reminiscent of TS Eliot’s “know the place for the first time” and Augustine's “you were within me but I was outside myself”. “Invite Jesus into your heart” proves to be a falseness. I understand there is a “letting”, but to me now it’s so much more discovering what already was. All the hiddenness of myself, the shame (and maybe also the joy?), the thoughts and feelings, unexpressed or only given the smallest chance to show: were you there all along? Do you know all my shamefulness, my anxieties, my “me-ness”, deep dark down there?

    Amused to find my flute-y stone twin in church

    Erna, and Dieuwertje, and John, Netherlands, wonderfully deep, personal conversations.
    Ernesta, Lithuania.
    Josh and Katelyn, Washington, US.    En savoir plus

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    Nueva

    6 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 16 °C

    Day 19
    Today, the fields not only rang with cowbells but – a first for me – a whole herd of horses joined in the clamourous fun! Which brought this poem to mind, written in late 2017 when we were staying in a monastery in Switzerland, awaiting our US visas.

    The Bells of Ralligen

    The clanging of bells filled the air and brought my heart to attention:
    “this is it”, they were singing,
    “this is the moment,
    here you are and we are too:
    be happy with us, praise be! “

    It was early morning,
    no change of lightness yet visible in the cloudy sky over the lake, beyond the mountains,
    but the bells were urging
    the waking of the dawn,
    the bells were calling
    all ears that could hear,
    the bells were summoning life
    out of the noone-nowhere-nothing
    of the long dark night.

    When the church tower fills with the dingdangdong of Sunday beckoning
    there are some few minutes of noise,
    then a sudden return to emptiness.

    But the cows on the hillside persist, persist,
    insist,
    that we attend
    to grace.

    Asturias is much more rural than Basque country and Cantabria, and I was walking on country paths nearly all day. Really fun to leave the hostel with John from Holland (and, fyi Dad, he doesn't call it The Netherlands, because for him it's the same thing; but perhaps that’s because he is actually from Holland), at a cracking pace and with easy conversation all the way to Llanes, the first 7 miles of the day. It's a lovely little town, perhaps my favourite so far.
    I then sent a box of things home from the post office, relieving myself of about 1kg of kit: just an accumulation of little things, my toilet bag, and one fleece. I kept the new jacket I bought last week, and reckon that if I get cold I can now wear everything I have with me, layered up, and feel confident it's enough.
    It feels such a privilege and a freedom to walk though idyllic coastal countryside on a clear and warm day, on my own, mile after mile, just taking in the animals, plants, clouds, winds, paths, villages, occasional people ...

    I'm very happy.

    'Collected' a whole lot more flowers today ... do you remember those 'I spy' books back in the day? Tick off each thing when you see it? I can't imagine there are many more flowers in northern Spain than I've spotted so far!
    Lesley, I have MULTIPLES of 17 flowers on my list. You're the only guesser so far but you're waaaaay off! Can't offer the prize for something so off-beam. Any other guesses?

    I'm not thinking all that much, or at least only occasionally thinking about something particular and pursuing an idea. It's been a lot about how I relate to myself and to the world, and to people, about me, noticing how defendedly I've held my heart, (perhaps like any or all of us), and how I don't need that survival mechanism any more. Perhaps. Not sure I can say much more about that right now, as 20 miles is a lot to walk and I'm pretty worn out. I think you'll have to meet me for coffee once I'm home again to ask me what's been going on.

    Booked a hotel room because I couldn't find a hostel where I wanted to be, and paid a little more for a bathtub: BLISSSSSSSSS!    En savoir plus

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    Duesos

    7 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☀️ 17 °C

    Day 20
    Ahhhh, this place and this weather are exactly what I dreamed of for the camino.
    Coastal paths, some made up and some stony tracks, some roads, little pretty villages surrounded by farmland and nature, mountains in the close distance and sea on the other side. Today I took three sea-dips, one a skinny dip with a friend to fulfil a challenge she'd been set!
    But today I undertook to take no photos, and only cheated for one selfie with the above-mentioned Trix (Netherlands), one video of what I assume is the collection of home towns/countries of all the guests at the accommodation we were passing, and one pic at the skinny dip beach of what looks like naked woman crouched in the surf (but isn't). I also snapped a different euphorbia, perhaps the 'euphorbia euphoria'. Euphoria!

    So much more could have been 'captured' on camera, but how can I be really present to an experience if I'm always putting a machine between my face and the Real World I'm wishing to be present to? On day 14 I took a minute long video of the waves thundering into the rocks at the bottom of the cliffs (which I showed there as a single still) and was rather abashed to realise I had 'got it' on camera before I had actually stood and looked at it/ listened to it breathed it/ felt it/l loved it. That's not how I wish to live. I choose to be HERE, NOW, with THIS and with US. Will you join me?

    Letting people speak and listening in such a way as to hear them rather than interpreting and categorising what they say in terms of my life is also how I want to live, and practice living. I've been observing myself and observing others in our getting-to-know-each-other chats day by day, and wondering why people ask certain questions: is it to understand their conversation partner better or to understand themselves? Both are valid! But a balance feels healthy. Don't you recognise that feeling of being peppered with questions and wishing they would Just Stop? And also that experience of being deflected from a real encounter by someone who hides behind clever quasi-insightful probing?
    And don't you know that quality of true exchange with someone when the conversation flows and resonates and feels mutual, warm, accepting?

    Today took me past the half way mark of my Camino. I have walked around 280 miles. Guess that makes me hardcore!    En savoir plus

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    Carda

    8 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 19 °C

    Day 21
    Been slipping off the official route as often as possible in order to be closer to the sea, but didn't quite fancy swimming at 8am as I walked across the beach for the last time for a few days. Heading inland now towards Oviedo, before returning to the Norte in Avila. Many people go on to the Primitivo route from Oviedo onwards, instead of continuing along the coastal path, but perhaps I can come back another time (with Luca?) to do the whole Primitivo. It's around 300km.

    My flower count has increased again, with another orchid on the list and a superb so-called 'three bird toadflax'!! Common flower names are so great in English ... I've also seen brass button, tiny shepherd, spotted medick, clustered bellflower, cutleaf cranesbill; what a privilege to see them all (and many more!) in this place.

    Met up with John again at a pilgrims' rest stop, my morning walking buddy a couple of days ago.
    Sandra, Poland; Petra, Germany; Shu, China (but now lives on a narrow boat in Northampton UK!).
    Heather and Dave, Glasgow.

    It's so lovely to find those places where someone has created a welcome bench in a shelter, or is offering food or drinks, or a colourful Camino painting, or even just a cheery 'buen Camino!' sign. We are operating in a sort of undercurrent below normal Spanish life, but we are not unnoticed nor unwelcome. In places we are really appreciated and celebrated.    En savoir plus

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    1

    Pola de Siero

    9 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 23 °C

    Day 22
    Does it matter whether one has grand or special thoughts, rather than little or ordinary ones? Isn't it often true that trying to think about something ("important") leads more to contortion or stultification than freedom and progress?
    I had kinda thought I would spend a week or two settling in to the rhythm of the Camino days, and then my thoughts might have become quieter, or freer, or I might gain clarity or inspiration. Or something. That's not how it is.
    And I'm loath to force anything different.

    Today was another day of happy walking in gorgeously gorgeous wide broad hills full of unspoilt nature, with villages and farms freckling the view. Found a lemon tree by an abandoned house, picked one and bit into it and discovered it to be an orange! Took several more for juicy moments along the way. That's a sure way to encourage a pilgrim. And came across a funny old fashioned everything-shop in the middle of nowhere, where I had a coffee, and bought salami, coconut biscuits and nuts for snacks. Walked briefly with a German man until he told me he was heading for Gijon and I pointed out that the path we were on was 10km in the wrong direction; there was a critical junction of two Camino routes that he had missed...
    Lay on the chapel floor in Vega, prostrate, cool, peaceful, and felt as if my posture was “just my body” whereas I remained “just me”.

    There was a lot of roadside walking, but that made the woodland track for the last 3km or so seem all the more fabulous. Enchanted. And the gift of a freshly cut rose and a lily from the elderly man who called out to offer me water all the more charming and heartwarming.

    I voice-noted:
    I feel free
    I feel safe
    I feel calm
    I feel content
    I feel excited
    I feel proud
    I feel satisfied
    I feel protected
    I feel thankful
    I feel surrounded

    And was reminded of St Patrick's prayer:
    Christ behind me, Christ before me, Christ above me, Christ below be, Christ within me, Christ without me

    Yes.    En savoir plus

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    Oviedo

    10 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ⛅ 24 °C

    Day 23
    I've been humming and hahing about tomorrow's decision, a silly amount of energy spent on a simple-doesn't-even-really-matter question, namely whether to continue on the Norte route (which I declared my intention to do a couple of days ago) or to start the Primitivo. Preoccupation gets in the way of really living.

    Most of the issue was to do with how to best use the week that Luca will be here at the end of the month. Inspired by Petra, (German, sharing a twin room tonight) I have chosen to do the 'Camiño dos Faros' with him, which takes 8 days and follows the north west coast of Galicia, southwards, past its many lighthouses (as the name suggests). A perfect path to do in the time we will have together. https://www.caminodosfaros.com/

    So, with so much coastline ahead with Luca, I have now decided-decided to walk the most mountainous, most remote, most natural, and arguably most challenging path. Starting tomorrow. Take a look at the map: I've followed the green route so far, to the tip of the triangle where it meets a yellow and a pink line. The Norte continues northwards (duh) with quite a lot more coast before turning down towards Santiago; the Primitivo, in yellow, goes directly through the hills and joins with the 'Frances' (pink) for a couple of days before Santiago.

    Oviedo is a super city, grand, smart, beautifully laid out, although it was a very long hot horrid trafficky road into the centre. It's a noisy city: how to stay whole, open? The city festival this weekend made exploring the streets all the more interesting, especially the many stalls with artisan foods and crafts, and local music performances. Lots of free cheese and meat samples!
    I didn't pay to enter the cathedral, but the Iglesia de San Isidoro El Real provided enough overblown decorative intricacy, glorified Madonna statuary and dead Jesuses to satisfy me for another long while. Isn't the icon with the three hands sweet?

    I wondered today about how I usually make decisions, and how some things are perhaps best left to routine ... the simplicity of the daily process here is a relief: every day all I have to do is get up and go out, making sure I have enough food and water to keep me healthy. Arrive, wash, eat, sleep, repeat.
    I'm not as routinised in home life; I like spontaneity and flexibility. Very much. But it can become lazy, so that I end up with a slower, easier, more indulgent outcome. Mightn't it help me to be a bit more consistent? To let a daily rhythm carry me? Living alone for most of the last 3 years has really shown up my inertia, and my previous reliance on the comfortable assumptions that develop in shared living. I don't have answers. Just a wish to be simpler, to be content, to be free.    En savoir plus

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    Grado

    11 mai 2024, Espagne ⋅ ☁️ 21 °C

    Day 24
    Took three wrong turnings today and walked miles off course ... helped back, in the suburbs of Oviedo, by this ginger Guide-Cat, who walked nonchalantly down the steep hill I was bustling up and looked back at me as if to say 'oh my dear, it's not that way!'.
    ... but what a way to spend an evening! The atmosphere was buzzing, and the ladies got me to join in the dance. Despite my pilgrim foreign-ness and scruffy-ness. One lady, Maria, got me to film her dancing. Hilarious, fabulous!    En savoir plus

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