Health Food Heaven

You know you are in America when you see a huge highway billboard advertising “ Butter Burgers & Frozen Custard” oohhhh yummmmm!
If this doesn’t get your tastebuds going how about “triple fried pork rinds in potato gravy with spicy double cream dumplings”.
Looking around the streets it isn’t hard to see who is buying this stuff, a lot of them have a real butter burger waddle going on.
I think it is an educational thing because when we ask where we can buy fresh fruit and veggies we get answers like “don’t rightly know, knew a fella back in seventy nine got hiz self some of them thar veg-e-tab-les but just where from I couldn’t rightly say”.

And then again “You want what? veg-e-tab-les? I hearz Macdonald’s iz putting lettuce and tomato on their burgers, now that’s a heap of goodness right there.
No wonder the corn crops covering over three states and counting is grown for cattle feed and not for human consumption. Like Martians, anything green is alien.

Speaking of meat and potatoes the tragedy goes on. First they killed Bambi’s mother now look where poor Bambi has ended up, a veal dish in a midwestern truck stop. Now if more truckers ate more fruit and vegetables there would be a lot more Bambies getting around.
Better still, what we need is for some of those Californian Vegans to get their truck licenses, then instead of all the truck stops being full of six foot six, hairy palmed, mono browed Neanderthals diggings into huge bowls of stodge and picking pieces of Bambi from between their teeth there would be a much better zen feel to the road.

No maybe not, thinking about this it won’t work, no Vegan is going to do a job that splatters thousands of insects into a windscreen every night.Les mer