I Crack Up Before I Even Start

I always advise my team members that they should take things carefully for the final few days prior to departing on any new adventure. After all the months of preparation and planning, it would be a crime if someone suffered a serious accident or illness at this late stage.

With little more than a week before we begin the 2017 European rides everything was finally nearly ready. The final travel details were received, my bags were (almost) packed, I had even booked the final few train journeys to complete our travels. All that remained was our final "training ride" before we could pack away our bikes and cycling gear. What could possibly go wrong ?

When we arrived at the start of the final ride, even the weather was cooperating. The predicted rain was nowhere in sight, the howling wind had abated and all was ideal for a relaxing final few kilometres on the bikes. With 19 riders in attendance it was also a good turnout for a relatively short ride.

Although Paul Cowen tried his best to have a crash in the first km and Gordon Logan suffered his twentieth puncture in the last couple of months, everything else went smoothly. Maggie and I arrived safely back at the car park, packed our bikes and bade farewell to our cycling friends.

"See you in a couple of months", I yelled to the others as we pulled out of the car park.

The only other obligation for the day was our attendance at our grandson's fifth birthday party at Croc's Kids Adventures in Pakenham. Nothing could go wrong there......

We arrived at the party, feeling rather self conscious in our "super hero" costumes. The little kids had already tanked up with plenty of red cordial and were making more noise than a dozen locomotives. After trying to hear myself think for a little while I went in search of our youngest son and his wife. They are both in their thirties but have no trouble acting like five year olds.

I found them in the middle of the African adventures, busily throwing soft foam balls at each other. As soon as I entered, I became the prime target. What choice did I have other than to retaliate by trying to throw some back in their general direction. I soon realised that my throwing arm is rubbish and certainly no match for a member of the Australian Dodgeball team. After trying a few more throws I retreated in defeat with a sore shoulder and a stinging right eye. I had been soundly defeated.

It was only when I awoke the next morning that my stupidity became fully apparent. I found I could not lift my right arm above waist height without severe pain. Obviously my limp armed throws had been sufficient to cause significant damage to my shoulder. Growing old really sucks.

My newly discovered injury did have some advantages as it meant that I could not hang up the washing on the line and it gave me an excuse for not doing the vacuuming as I had promised. On the other hand (or should I say other arm), I really do not need such an injury so close to the beginning of our big ride. I can only hope that it heals quickly.Read more