Saudi Women

Long have I learned not to underestimate those hejabbed women! I always imagined them as being shy, meek, but far from it. Travelling in the eastern world for some time I had to drop a lot of my prejudices and came to recognize that hiding behind the Hejab are women with all sorts of characteristics, different levels of education, some more, some less confident. I have met a professor of artificial intelligence, IT specialists, doctors, women like you and me, wearing Hejabs, not because the husband or father insists on it, but because, as they insist, they choose to.
One day, when camping in the middle of the desert far from the next road I am spotted by Mohammad, who right away jinxes me away into his Bedouin camp. After an afternoon of hunting with the falcons and herding and riding some camels, I am invited to spend the night in the camp. In the traditional Saudi society men and women living separate. Once the children are reaching puberty, or even before that they as well are living in the respective quarters. So it is quite unusual within the traditional society in general for a woman to be invited into the men’s majilis, the sitting room. But for me it is a regular occurrence. With my status as a woman traveling the lands alone, I am located in a grey area, being a traveller, enjoying the greatest respect and hospitality, on the other hand being a woman, travelling all alone through the world and therefore not fitting the social norms and expectations. I will be sitting with the men, being asked about my journey, and I asking them about their lives and views. We will be drinking tea and coffee and have some sweets being prepared and served by the young men of the tribe. After a while the women are getting impatient for me to join them and will send a courier, a boy and girl of an age where they can still walk between both worlds, to fetch me.
In the family compounds, in the biggest I visited around 120 family member were living on a city block together, the women’s area might be on a different storey of the house, or a different house on the compound. In the camps the women’s camp can be a few hundred meters away from the men’s camp. Of course, particularly in bigger cities nowadays small family units are found as well, disregarding the gender separation.
Walking from the men’s to the women’s area is like entering a different world. Saudis are a very dignified people. Always dressed neatly, well looked after, speaking calmly, on average well educated.
The men will have a big open fire contained in a sometimes elaborately decorated pit, they will smoke and calmly discuss matters on hand, sipping away on their tea and coffee. Sometimes they will dance, but this as well will be in a dignified manner, mostly dancing in arranged steps, all together in a circle.
Once you enter the women’s world the atmosphere will change rapidly. The settings will be less elaborate, there will be little kids held and nursed, the bigger ones, boys and girls running around, music playing, loud chatter and laughing. Inevitably the women and children will be dancing and ululating, they are making me feel at home, giving me the feeling to be part of the family. And sharing their thoughts and opinions with me.
During my time in the KSA, I was always treated with respect, no staring or wolf whistles. I continue to be regularly greeted with thumbs up, by old men and young women equally, one time the women were ululating me through a village. When looking lost in a street, I can be sure that somebody, man or woman alike will come to my aid. The Saudis are the most welcoming, hospitable people I have met, not expecting anything in return. They seem to carry a genuine concern for your happiness, calling out a happy “Welcome to Saudi Arabia” while driving past.
During my time here in Saudi, I saw a different picture of the life of women from that we in the West expect. The women I met seemed more or less happy and content with their lives, as most of us are. I do not ignore the human rights issues Saudi women are confronted with and are fighting against in my conversations, but the Saudi women I met never complained to me about this aspect of their lives.
More than once was I pulled by a woman around the corner or a doorway, to a crouch beside a car, where they could lift their hijab and show me their face. To make sure I will remember them.
We are all formed by our upbringing, social norms, and expectations. We need standards to measure our hopes and dreams against. We need the confidence to follow our passions and step into the unexpected.
Life is not only black and white, not even in Saudi, a country with a monochromatic separation of the sexes, but which I found it to be as colourful as the many shades of its desert sands.

PS: Normally it is not allowed to make photos of unveiled women. These three ladies gave me their permission: "We are too old to care!" But still I will not publish these pictures on a my platform to protect them from trouble. I seemed to detect a rebellious streak. One telling me, when she was young, she used to herd the family's sheep across the border into Jemen unaccompanied.Читать далее