Quack Quack

At 09:00 Eva was still in bed...goodness that girl can sleep. I had been up since 06:00 and also had received a call from Fi at 13:30 as she thought we might still be up and out clubbing as Miami has some great clubs...(certainly not with sleeping beauty). Anyway I went off to the gym and eventually she got out of bed and joined me.

After changing we met in Cecconis, which is the small restaurant at the hotel. It's part of Soho House Group and they are at most of the hotels and also as independent venues. Eva went and got herself a croissant and a boiled egg. When it came to the bill they were charging me $20. Apparently because she got it from the breakfast bar and not from the a la carter then it was $20 and not $4....ahem I think not.

After the manger arrived, due to me refusing point blank to pay the bill, they reduced the bill to $4 for the croissant and $4 for the egg...hello....I could buy a bloody live chicken for that let alone a boiled egg. The manger also informed me that she would not do that again for us...very kind indeed...I informed her that was very good indeed but not to worry as we wouldn't be dining there again.

After a non confrontational start to our day we went for a tourist excursion. The weather was very overcast so we thought that now was the day to do it as I was still resembling a half cooked lobster whilst Eva was beautifully tanned.

We booked with Duck Tours which is one of those amphibious things for $37 each, a very outgoing guide and Captain Cruz the driver and sailor.

Basically the trip consisted of driving around a bit, putting the thing in the water and then driving past the back gardens of multi million pound homes with enormous yachts. I don't know about you but I would be highly pissed off if I had just spent $30m on a house to park my yacht and this quack quack thing comes around the corner with a load of tourists snapping away at your living room. I would probably spend another few million and hire a mini sub and torpedo it.

And yet I suppose it may not matter too much...as Trump is about to go to war with North Korea and who knows where we will all end up. Let's see if we can reach the end of the holiday, but anything could happen in the next 16 days....oh, Cuba is on the list to visit...could be quite apt.

We then drove down Ocean Drive and our gregarious guide started rapping or something and told us to raise our arms just as we passed a poor chap begging on the street with no arms....definitely not pc. After disembarking on shore opposite Burger King we ubered our way back to the hotel and decided to eat out for obvious reasons.

The venue was Mango's Tropical Cafe at 900 Ocean Drive in the heart of South Beach. Now actually, the Mexican food was really nice, a bit pricey but good. We were on the street as the cabaret venue part of the establishment was sold out. So we watched the cars cruising up and down Ocean Drive doing 5 mph and nothing much else. Don't buy a Mustang they are two a penny and we saw a family in one that looked like the Fockers...not street cred.

After Eva had finished doing her impression of red faced Chipmunk after drinking too much Coca Cola (she has progressed from water) we paid the bill and headed off from the delightful ladies in leopard skin pants and tops.Read more