Eva’s Holiday of a Lifetime

The morning started off very peacefully with Eva getting her nails done with acrylic something or other along with extra gel at an extra $25...

'Would madam like to have gel to make them last longer? It is an extra $25.'

'Don't care really I'm not paying'

So whilst Eva was busy spending my money I was having a detoxification facial. This basically involves the facial lady squeezing as hard as she can your nose at various points to clear out the pores. It hurt.

Feeling like somebody had punched me a few times on the nose I thanked her and left.

After a small brunch we were picked up by mini bus and headed off to see the Mayan pyramid at Coba. It one of the few historic sites that the public can climb to the top of. Why you would want to do this in 38 degrees Celsius is beyond me, but none the less it was apparently on Eva's things to do.

The head honcho lived at the top of these pyramids and all the underlings then had to come and deliver his food with his 7 wives living nearby. They would sacrifice a few people now and again by cutting out their hearts whilst alive, then chop off their heads and all was well.

We cycled to the pyramid site and we began to climb. Now if it's one thing I hate it is heights, uneven steps and spiral staircase. No spiral staircases but lots of the other. It was relatively easy going up as one just had to keep looking ahead. We soon reached the top. Now we had to come back down with our shirts already wet with the heat. It would be cooler in a sauna.

We headed back down hanging on to a rope in the centre of the steps to steady us. It took us a while and I was glad that the ordeal was over.

The Mayans used play a ball game that involved two sides of around 3 men each. The picture here shows the stone buildings that were used as the court. The circular ring of stone at the top was the goal and above that is where the important people would watch the game. A royal box I suppose. The only parts of the body that could be used where the elbows, hips and knees. Not exactly bend it like Beckham but quite tricky, especially as it went on for 5 days and nights.

There is a bit of a twist at the end of the game that I don't think xxxx would particularly enjoy despite him being the chosen one. Apparently the loosing manager of the team would be sacrificed to the gods...you know, heart and all that stuff. Then the winning managers reward was to be....erm....sacrificed too. In fact I suppose it is similar to managers in the Premiership as they are generally sacrificed, just not heart and all that stuff.

The excursions was in two parts. The Mayan wonders and then we had a choice to either go to see a Mayan village or go for a swim and a zip line fall over a lake. Unfortunately the winning majority was for the latter.

Eva couldn't wait. I could.

We scaled a 40m rickety old tower with steps made out of old trees. At one point I thought of turning back but how could I let my daughter down?

Onwards and upwards to then have my harness clipped onto the wire and off the edge I went speedily following Eva to the platform across the lake. Terrified is not an exaggeration. To Eva it was a breeze, to me, it was horrendous. I gripped the harness straps with both hands very tightly and prayed for a safe ending.

'That was great Dad wasn't it?'

'Yes darling, great'

When the whole crew had descended we drove off to an underground cavern that had been carved out of the limestone by an underground river. It had a massive pool of water 150 feet deep and it was here where we were going to swim. Sounded great and the pictures looked wonderful. The only draw back was that we had to climb down there using a wet slippery spiral staircase made of old wood.

Why is she doing this to me?

The water was beautifully crystal clear and cool. If it was to stay that way I had to get out quick. A sudden rumbling in my bowels meant a quick ascent back up to terra firma just in the nick of time. Must have been that chilli sauce last night.

Eva couldn't stop laughing when she finally surfaced.

The final part of the excursion was to have a dinner of traditional Mayan food. Ok, they said it was traditional but who knows. Whilst we were dining the locals laid on a show which was involved a fat bloke banging a drum and some others dancing around with feathers in their hear and playing the bend it like Beckham ball game. 3-0 to the side with a player painted as a skeleton. Well done...now what about the sacrifice?

The only sacrifice was me putting $200 (Pesos I hasten to add) in a bowl marked tips that was duly handed around.

We arrived back to The Hard Rock at around 09:00 and the party girl was exhausted so bed time it was.En savoir plus