Amsterdam

The house was so noisy all night.
At 4am outside our door I heard a woman's voice saying something about "you kissed me". I didn't realize Will was also awake until his head shot up to look and me with an :O expression.
Somebody obviously had a one night stand hahahah
So when we woke up to have Breakfast we walked in on our host sleeping on the couch but then on a mattress on the floor was a boy and girl. The girl was naked lol.
Her friend appeared from another room and tried to wake her up. The friend realized she couldn't remember where she had left her bicycle 😂
We just sat awkwardly in the corner watching the very awkward 'morning after' events take place.
The passed out girl rolled over and ... hello boobies.
Wow what a morning.
I went to return the keys to the host but the boy and girl appeared to be going at it so I just texted the host to tell him where to find them in another room 😂😂
Super unprofessional but very funny.
When Will was on the loo the naked girl knocked on the door wrapped in the bed sheet hahah
I will be mentioning it's not a child friendly Bnb on the website hahahah

We walked to the station - we have to start taking note of the sun positioning.
We keep realizing far too late that we are walking in the blistering sun but often the other side of the road is shaded.
We bought tickets to AMSTERDAM WOOHOOOO!!!!!!!!!!
We got Starbucks and waited on our platform. When ever I enter a train I have to remove my bags off my back cause otherwise I knock people out with my sleepingbag.
So keen for Amsterdam. It's the first city in a while that i actually have a 'to do' list for. Belgium as a whole and the last 2 Holland cities where not previously on the schedule.

Speaking of not sticking to the schedule..
Our train stopped the stop before we were meant to get off and there was a very long Dutch announcement. The whole cabin let out a huge sigh.
We obviously had no idea what was said so we listened in on someone translating for us.
Basically someone had been hit by a train so the train had been cancelled. We had to get off and come up with a plan B.
Lucky for us the whole train was in the same situation so we just followed them.
We had 2 options get a bus or do a loop on the train.
We opted for the train and stayed near a nice American couple who were stranded too.
It took an extra 1.5 hours and we had to swap trains again. The trains were so hot and cramped because the first one we had to get was just a suburban train not really equipped to deal with 100 people suitcases.
Lucky we followed everyone because Will must have misheard when to get off because if it weren't for everyone else changing over we would have gone another 3 stations along lol.
We waited for20 mins on a platform before getting on the final train. I could feel my skin burning.
We patted a dog on the train :)
We finally arrived our hostel is literally next door to the station 🙌🏼
It was 2pm and checkin wasn't until 3pm so we hung around and looked at maps, semi planning the next few days.

Righto, everything from here on out has been written the day after.

VIEWER DISCRETION ADVISED. You're not going to like it. Like, reallllllly not going to like it.

We went to central, found food and went to the sex museum as we walked past it. 5€ each - bargain! We got proper tickets I can staple in too Haha
It was display after display of rudey nudey photos with the caption "FOR PRIVATE USE" hahahah not so vary private now. 😑
God some people have revolting genitals.
I got a picture with a giant penis.
Will has super hero speed eyes - I hadn't finished looking at one wall and he had finished the whole floor.
Boy got game hahah. I'm such a rookie.
The best parts by far where the moving statues.
The best 2 were a lady jacking off a man and a man creeping out and flashing his Willy then going back into the shadows haha.
Lots of statues and all sorts of phallic type items.
We tried to find red the light district but it's surprisingly hard.
On our travels we bought some magic truffles. We got the lowest effect level. I'm still undecided but I will probablt take the plunge. The only place in the world is even consider it is Amsterdam. Quite literally every single person here has done it and not died so I should be fine lol.
We kept walking around getting our bearings.
We bought a pre rolled joint at a coffee shop and smoked it by the canal with everyone else.
I was super happy hahah we didn't finish it though - take it slow.
We then went and got Will a beer. I didn't want to drink and I was getting the munchies so Will sent me to get a waffle. I nearly died when she told me the price. I picked one and she wrapped it up beautifully - 10 euros for a waffle!!! I must have had a look of horror on my face because she dropped it down to 9 without me saying anything.
To be fair it was damn delicious, but hooley dooley. I must remember to check.
I also went and looked shirts in a souvenir shop.
I had a Coke while Will had another beer. Such a rip off too! We moved on.
I asked about 5 different people how to get to the red light district.

FOUND IT 💃🏻
Hehe it's so exciting! It's such a novelty experience.
Because it's still daylight not many girls were out so we sat at a cafe and talked to the 2 people next to us. One was from the the Netherlands and wrote down some bars etc for us to see. The lady was a stereotypical Russian. I love the canals. It's exactly what I pictured.
The girls starting to come out so we went walking.
We came across a sex show so we decided to go to that first then look at the girls.
I HAD SUCH A GOOD TIME.
It was just so funny and surreal to be watching these people so these things in a public space. It was really expensive but you have to do it.
I kept imagining mum standing outside when she came though 😂😂😂 classic Gaylene.
Will didn't like it as much as me because he said it was really very tame compared to the Thailand one he saw.
With all my heart I mean it.... these girls could not dance.
The acts were as follows:

Act 1 - a danced, got naked then pulled a bunch of beads out of her vagina.

Act 2 - a danced for naked then used a dildo

Act 3 - a man and woman did the most choreographed sex routine. Let's be real. His balls bouncing was a little confronting. 😂
You could tell they do it everyday it was like second nature.

Act 4 - a lady asked for a volunteer from the audience.
The man had to lie on the floor with his shirt off.
She danced, got naked, put a texts in her vagina then wrote "dick" on his chest. Classic party trick..

Act 5 - a lady doing a pole dance routine. She actually had talent. I have never seen a pole routine where I've been impressed. Normally it's all just flexibility- bore snore, but this chick had some intense core strength. She was a legitimate act.

Act 6: it was a stripper man. He asked for volunteers and they stripped him.
He grabbed one girl out of the blue and started humping her like a jack rabbit. I laughed so embarrassingly loudly it was just so unexpected. The girls face was priceless. There was one whore volunteer who was wayyyy too touchy and into it lol. It's suppose to be funny not arousing.

Act 7: another sex act. This was more foreplay based though. They weren't as engaging. The girl was half decent though.

Act 8: a chick who looked so unbelievably bored just walked around the stage and really didn't do much other than run a dildo thing against her face to an 'erotic' song.

The acts then began to repeat which was our cue to leave. I can't imagine having to have stage sex 6 times a night every damn night. I thought maybe the same act every night but not the same act to repeat itself over a 5 hour period -.- no wonder they looked bored.
Either way I can certainly tick that off the bucket list.
We went looking at girls. Some windows were suspiciously empty but lights were on. Someone was getting some in the back rooms I think hehehe.

We had odd burger shaped kebabs then started our journey home - around 1am.
Waled to station - it was nearly the last one so we were lucky!
Hotel was still open too, phew!

2 other people have joined our room so we have to share :(

Saw space cake and brownies today, will probably try some of them too.
For all the things we did today, we weren't asked i.d once.
I'm keen for a magnet.
Amsterdam is going to be so expensive - so many fun things to do :)
Keen for tomorrow's activities

Forgot to add - Will ordered chips but you had to buy something off the menu to get chips so I got the soup of the day.
It was purposely cold, potato and leek.
They ended up not charging us cause I hardly touched it and they felt bad making us get it.
That was a small win.Read more