The Taj Mahal

10/12/16
Arrive in Agra

Finishing the great train game

We wake at 5.30 to random train conductor turning the light on in your section and checking you had paid to be in that bed. He looked at us, saw we were white and left us to it lol.

We chilled on the top bunk, did some life planning, red about Taj. Good productive morning.

The train journey secretly made me proud to be British. Especially when going over massive Victorian Bridges and knowing that we started the railway network over here. The symbol on the train stations is basically a tube logo lol. Pretty cool on the whole.

We stopped at about 20 stations on the way and at each one different people step off go and stretch their legs, then when the train starts moving they just hop back on. Loads of street vendors get on at each stop as well selling the towns grub.

A bad thing about the open windows is that the locals just throw their litter straight out of them. They do this everywhere. The current prime minister is running a don't litter campaign using cricketers, Bollywood stars and even himself shown cleaning the streets asking the nation to get involved.

One of the best things about having no windows is the buzz when a train comes the other way. A massive ball of air hits you in the face! It's like that feeling you get when you jump off something really big where your stomach flips! AWESOME!

Love the train. Defo glad we came on it!! Also we've probably missed about 3 hours sight seeing but saved about £150 in flights. For both of us the tickets for a 20 hour journey were £18.

.....4 hours later.....I wrote the above before we had a four hour delay.... Noblet is climbing the walls and stood on the other side of the track.... Going... Is that train getting closer and shitting himself. Then he realises that he's stood next to the WC carriage and piss is oozing onto him! HA!

We get to Agra, home of the Taj Mahal and Red Fort (built in 1600s) at 3.30 ;2.5hrs late with no explanation)

Buzzing, we got a Rickshaw with a guy who insisted that we called him uncle. He briefed us on how everyone was in the mafia around the Taj.... Which was where our hotel was literally 200m away from the entrance for £8 per night. Room was well doable for that price.

Went out straight to the Taj, the sub is setting how romantic right?!?! NO... There is a thick ass layer of smog over this whole country I swear.

We pay to get in, foreigner rates 5times the price of a yocal. you may think this is annoying, but on the contrary we were well away. Turns out if you're white, you get to go to the front of 2 hour queues all over the place, they usher you in and it's brilliant. Probably saved about 4 hours in queues all in all. I know us Brits 'love to queue' but these guys don't play by the rules. Like Personnal space, fairness, integrity all go out of the window.... We don't stand a chance against these professionals. No wonder they let us ahead or there would be fights everywhere.

I'm stood at the female queue to buy tickets (this is a thing) and these guys are like tricking me to another queue so that they can go to the girl counter even though they're guys.... Then I obviously patiently wait for them to be served before another tries it on (I'm ready this time though and go all hockey set stance SINNABIT pal! - she ran into me umpire I was just stood here!!)

Then when you get frisked on the way in (no water bags etc allowed) so giant Hindu is right up my arse getting all frisk on because I gave the girl in front like 20mm of space so she literally humped me forwards with her FUPA and chebs.... Like a cattle market!

We finally get inside the Taj, you round a corner, go through an arch, and all is revealed.

It really is spectacular. My new fave old building (replacing MCR hospital, Houses of Parliament and all of Paris)
Ive honestly never been that bothered about it in geeky architects books and was just like yeah right what evs.

It's been built in the 1600s after the Kings 3rd/4th wife (depending on source) who he actually loved... Died giving birth to his 14th child #logflume she made him promise to channel his dispair into architecture representing their love.

So he sets about building the thing that he's going to bury her in. The large dome on the top represents her head and shoulders and them projecting towards heaven. It has 99 words for Allah scribed on it. It's architecturally symmetrically perfect (ish). The main building takes just 7 years to build (no idea how you can do this so quickly!) and the rest another 13 years. There are large pillars of inscription along the various entrances. When the architect designed it he realise the optical illusion would be that the words get smaller at the top, so he designed the letters so they would get bigger the higher they got so they would stay In proportion. Pretty cool. All the flowers engraved have precious stones embedded from all over the east. Diamonds etc pretty sick. The whole things made from marble but fell apart over the years and has been repaired using new renovation techniques (I.e so you can clearly see the repairs and there is a contrast between new and old materials). I reckon one day this type of restoration may go out of favour (maybe a few hundred years). Any way it's gorgeous and highly recommended its well better than any book can describe.

The the guy who commissioned it gets imprisoned by his son who wants to be king, dies in prison and gets buried in the Taj with his missus.

Obvs we want a photo here, the usual we're so in love (heave).... So Noblet asks a guy to take a photo... And picks the one Chinese guy who doesn't know how to use a camerA... Needless to say we don't have our in love at the Taj photo... Thank god mantle piece safe for one more year!

Back to the hotel sacking off the many hawkers who harass you.... Get back to the hotel and realise we've forgotten to go to the museum... Great.

Restaurant for teA.... Pretty good for India.

Tuk Tuk home... SINNABIT

man: holly for not buying a penguin with a drum off the blind man on the train.

Donkey: Charlie for standing in piss outfall whilst nearly getting run over by a train.Read more