Not a Happy Hippo Day

Today, our guides wore a suspicious smile when they announced a game drive with a surprise. In the group, we agreed that they are probably going to feed us to the lion we heard in the night. But we are all Swiss mountain people, and we have our pocket-knives on us. So our plan is to just walk back to the camp after being dropped off and give our partying guides the surprise of their lives.
Little did we know how close that came to reality. And little did our guides know.
Anyway – we spend a beautiful morning in the Bwabwata National Park, unsuccessfully looking out for giraffes. Instead, Mannex and Oscar introduce us to some medicine plants and since some in the group feel a bit sick, we decide to try some of the bush medicine. Our guides agree that that's a terrible idea since our stomachs are not used to «bush food» and it could actually make us even more sick. The only thing they let us try is inhaling burning elephant dung. Good luck, I'm feeling really healthy today and don't have to try it.
However, the time comes and we are about to be dropped off. To make it worse, Oscar spies some giraffes in the distance that remain invisible to us while Mannex keeps hitting the gas pedal saying we were already late. Luckily, at the drop-off point there was Dan and a boat waiting for us, not a lion. So we take our seats on the boat, looking forward to a nice river cruise back to the camp. Mannex and Oscar don't join us, and I take a picture of them waving us goodbye on the shore while we are pulling away on a little side arm of the Kwando river. This is the last time for today that we smile back at them.
Dan is in a doomsday mood and tells us how bad all these animals are that we come here to see: Buffaloes give diseases to cows, elephants destroy the crops, crocs eat people, and so on. Luckily, he brightens up a bit after a while and starts telling us some fascinating nature stories as we approach a group of hippos. «The difficult thing with hippos is to know where they are in the water, because you don't see all of them», Dan starts. «If you know what you do, though, handling hippos is easy. Just give them space and pass them slowly», are his last words before the biggest hippo starts running like a torpedo through the water towards us. Dan cries out the f-word and makes the boat go as fast as it can. And that's pretty much how the rest of the cruise goes. To me, it feels like a hit-and-run game with hippos as your enemies. Knowing that hippos are the deadliest mammals in Africa, the group is pretty scared, and I'm feeling a bit unwell, but quiet, since I don't lose hope in Dan wanting to make it home alive as well. Dan gets more nervous the closer the sun gets to the horizon. When the hippos come ashore, they also go into the little river arms searching for food – and that's exactly our way to go back. Otherwise, it's a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful sunset. When we finally arrived back at the camp, Dan left straight away without saying a word, and Mannex and Oscar looked a bit puzzled. Nevertheless, they immediately started showing us photos of their close encounter with a group of giraffes after they dropped us off, but soon realize that we were not faking our bad mood. At last, James rescues the evening with a delicious dinner, and we make Mannex and Oscar promise that they will never ever send us off anymore without them coming along.Read more