Day 11 - There has been a gincident

08:50
There is less of the gin left this morning than is absolutely ideal.

10:00
Need to get my arse in gear. Today’s another moving day, and I’m heading inland to Tissamaharama. Prabin, the manager of Luaya Beach, seems distraught when I tell him I would like a lighter breakfast than yesterday. Some fruit and a coconut pancake should do it. He asks me several times if I’m completely sure I don’t want eggs, hoppers, curry, and looks crestfallen when I decline.

Packing is a quick and easy affair, as I’ve barely unpacked, and have lived in the same few sets of clothes for the past couple of days. This trip has been something of a revelation for realising how few clothes I can get away with packing for a long journey. The very vast majority of places to stay in Sri Lanka offer a 24 or 36 hour laundry service, and the only real limitation is how long I’m staying at a particular establishment. I’ve got a bag of laundry ready to go when I arrive into Tissamaharama, and that should just about keep me going until I head home. In a lot of ways, my Sri Lanka sojourn is serving as a dry run for the 3 1/2 weeks that Vicks and I will spend in Thailand. I can definitely go lighter on the clothes packing front, but will pack extra deodorant. I may also invest in some packing cubes, if for no other reason than it’s nice to know where in your rucksack your pants are located.

11:30
Back on Expressway 01, heading further to the East. There’s quite a bit more traffic today than Tuesday, when I arrived from Mirissa, and I’ve no idea why. I’d ask my driver, but he’s a bit drunk right now. He tries to join the Expressway up the off ramp. Not a great look when there are police manned toll gates in front of us. He effects a quick u-turn, and I suspect hopes/prays no-one saw.

There’s a very distinct hierarchy to the roads in Sri Lanka, and it dictates how different vehicles are driven. Buses / lorries are at the top, and they simply do not give a fuck about you. They’ll pull out in front of you when you’re steaming along at top whack. They’ll brake suddenly, and for no earthly reason. Hilariously, many of them do not possess functioning brake lights - something I discovered yesterday on my bike trip around Tangalle.

Car drivers are a little more sensitive to their surroundings, but not a huge amount. The level of spatial awareness on display is laughable. They will overtake a slow moving bike/tuk-tuk/car/truck at a moment’s notice, without indicating, and without materially accelerating, and they’ll expect anything coming the other way to slow down and/or take evasive action.

Next are tuk-tuks, which are typically driven like they’ve been stolen. Tuk-tuks are basically a wedge shape, narrower at the front than the back, where the passenger(s) sit. Tuk-tuk drivers do not seem to understand this, and it’s quite an experience when your chariot is heading towards a narrow gap that the driver thinks is wide enough based on where he’s sitting in the vehicle.

Then we’ve got bikes/scooters, which are expected to make way for any other vehicle on the road, whilst also moving fast enough to keep up with other traffic - fine around town, but starts to get a little more challenging out in the countryside.

And last, and by all means least, pedestrians. You do not matter, you are invisible, you will cause little to no harm to any vehicle that mows you down. There are pedestrian crossings all over Sri Lanka, but their use requires some practice and a dollop of bravado. You need to start walking across while the traffic is still bearing down on you, and hold out your hand to indicate that you’ve seen them, you know they’re there, and you’re crossing anyway. It takes me a few goes to get it right, mainly by copying other folks, but once you get the hang of it, it gets marginally less terrifying.

13:20
I *think* I might be the only guest at my hotel. Certainly can’t see/hear any other guests. Perhaps they’re all out on safari at the mo. I’m staying in downtown Tissamaharama, as much of any of it can be classed as downtown. There’s a 2km stretch of road, with buildings either side of it. I’ve yet to see any more than this. I unpack a little, and get my stuff ready for tomorrow morning’s 04:30 alarm call. I discover a pair of my boxers have leopards on them, so I’ll wear these in the hope that they’ll bring luck on my safari.

I’m getting a bit peckish. Off for an explore, and definitely a beer…

18:00
It’s feckin hot. Weather app reckons it feels 38-39C, and I can’t argue with them. I walk maybe 500m up the road, and am dripping with sweat. I’m not too fussed. You just have to learn to live with it, if not necessarily like it. I order the largest/coldest Lion they have. It does not disappoint. After spending a few days trying to find a suitable Lion alternative in Mirissa, I’ve come to terms with the fact that this is it - you want cold and refreshing? It’s gonna be a Lion. A few places serve gin, arrack, wine etc - but they’re actually pretty few and far between. Certainly out here in the sticks, it’s beer or a soft drink.

Lunch is a stir-fried rice dish - Mongolian rice, which apparently is a local speciality? Tons of seafood in it, and really quite hot with chilli powder. It’s bloody lovely though. It’s about 14:30, and I’m considering a nap. Getting back to the hotel, I spy a pool out in the garden - result! I bound upstairs to change, and then bound downstairs to the pool area. I disrobe (apart from my board shorts, obvs) with gay abandon, and jump in. Weird. The water is either quite warm, or quite cool. There are hot spots and cool zones. I manage to find one of the cooler areas and lurk for a while…

I air dry for a while, listening to the sounds of… what? I’m not really sure. Rural Sri Lankan life I guess. Occasional beeps from cars, trucks and tuk-tuks on the road, lots of bird song and squawks, the occasional sound of men noisily clearing their sinuses - that sorta stuff.

Back in my room, I have a cold shower, and lament the lack of a fridge, as a G+T would go down brilliantly right about now. The A/C across the hotel was being fixed earlier, but it’s running at full whack now, and I spend a delightfully cool 1/2 hour reading my book as I air-dry.

22:00
There were a couple of places I’d tagged in Tissa as good for lunch or dinner, and one is just a few minutes walk around the corner from me - Royal Restaurant. It’s pretty full, both with diners at tables, and with folks waiting to collect takeaway orders, and I take this as a good sign. I’m seated right next to a Buddha statue, that endearingly (at first) and irritatingly (ultimately) emits some Buddhist chanting throughout my dining experience.

From the menu, I ask the server about his favourite, traditional Sri Lankan dishes, and he points me to Black Pepper Chicken, so I order it. He asks how spicy I want it, and I ask for medium, but Sri Lankan medium, not tourist medium. He looks a little confused, but nods anyway. I’m not sure how well my request was translated, but what I get is a delicious and properly hot curry. I had wondered whether it would be similar to the Pepper Chicken Masala curry that I learnt to cook when I was in Kerala, and there are some obvious shared traits. They both have chicken, and they both have a lot of black pepper. There things start to diverge. The Sri Lankan dish has cinnamon, cardamom and a handful of fresh curry leaves, where the Keralan version focused on fennel seed, cumin and coriander. It’s also got some sweet capsicum in it - similar to the yellow bell peppers I’d get in the UK. There’s also an unmistakable flavour of soy sauce, and the heat has been tempered with some coconut milk. There’s something a little sour in the background - I’m going to guess tamarind. It’s banging. Served with the plainest of steamed rice, it’s one of the best things I’ve eaten on the island, and something I’ll definitely look to recreate at home.

Back at Serenity Tissa, the place remains deserted. I thought I saw some other guests a little earlier, but they were apparently having a look around to see if they wanted to stay here. They declined. I’m yet to see evidence of any other guests. By that token, I think the hotel staff outnumber me by a factor of 5 to 1. I’m not really tired, but I’m very conscious my alarm is going off at 04:25. Yikes.Read more