Day 10 - A Giant, Swinging Cock

06:00
I sleep pretty well. Read for maybe an hour last night, and was asleep by 22:00. I wake up at 05:00. Well, I wake up a couple of times through the night. Once to pee (Travel Johns = AMAZING for tenting), and once because my tent sounds like it’s flapping in the wind a little. A cursory check suggests it’s just a bit breezy, and my less than perfect top sheet solution isn’t quite as taut as it should be. It will do. I manage to get back off to sleep though, and wake naturally at 05:00.

I spend 30 minutes chilling in bed. Chilling is the right word. It is COLD. Even with the extra layer on the tent, I’m properly frosty this morning. Must remember to take my microfibre fleece to bed with me. Where I would normally have a read through my phone and catch up on social media, I can’t. The signal here is non-existent. The power at Olifantsrus is solar, and the WiFi relies on it. It’ll fire back up around 08:00 or thereabouts. It’s a pretty shaky WiFi connection at that - not nearly sufficient to post my t-log and photos from the past couple of days.

I pop the kettle on, and have a more thorough examination of the tent. It’s looking remarkably how I left it last night. I reckon there’s a couple of places I could use some rope to tighten it up a bit, but I’m pleased with my first effort. The sun’s just starting to nibble at the horizon. Off to watch sunrise from the waterhole…

11:30
No I’m not. Waterhole entrance is closed - presumably so dickheads don’t throw themselves out into the park. I’m out of Olifantsrus and into the park by 06:30. The first hour is pretty dull. A couple of antelope spots. From there, things warm up. Some zebra and more antelope around a big waterhole, some beautiful birds, my first kudu of the trip, and a MASSIVE herd of elephant. There are vehicles far too close to the herd IMO. There are at least 4 infants amongst the population, and that will make the matriarchs very antsy. As they cross the road, a BIG mama squares up to a jeep, the driver of which seems to give no fucks. I was taught (by someone who should know) that 10m is the minimum distance you should EVER give an elephant. If they take a disliking to you, you are DONE. Your vehicle will be wrecked or knocked over instantly. You’ll be lucky to get out alive. Happily, she feints a couple of charges, but doesn’t follow through, so we avoid an international incident.

The distance from Olifantsrus to Okaukuejo is 130km, and it takes me fully 4.5 hours to travel between the two. It’s heating up rapidly. I stop in at reception on the off-chance that my room is ready for me, but am told 14:00. I have a bit of a mooch to get my bearings, stare longingly at the pool, and grab a Savanna to keep me occupied.

13:30
My Savanna reminds me that there is a trading post I’d planned to visit, maybe 30km from Okaukuejo, and a quick trip there could help pass the couple of hours until my room is available. It’s a paved road all the way, and I’m there in 20 minutes. I reason it would be rude not to sit in the shade with a Savanna. Inside, there’s a fab looking / smelling bakery, a decent selection of wines, and a freezer full of decent sounding meat. I fill my proverbial boots and literal basket. The steak particularly looks a cut above the supermarket meat I’ve largely had so far, but time will tell. I cruise back to Okaukuejo, and reason that I should probably eat something. There’s a restaurant at my lodge that looks chaotic. Perhaps a Savanna first to grease the skids…

21:00
I’ve had a brilliant afternoon and evening. The restaurant onsite is chaos. Beautiful, brutal chaos. Happily, I’m not in a rush, as many others seem to be, so the chaotic nature of service doesn’t ruffle me. Post prandial, I grab my key, and check out my room. V cool. Ooh, A/C! And a big double bed. Hmmm, nap….

My nap is luxurious, and I realise how much I’ve missed the ability to nap because tenting. I wake up around 17:00, and reason that I should have a shower, because I don’t think I’ve had one in about 4 days.

Suitably freshened, I pack up a bottle of wine and head down to the waterhole. Back at the trading post earlier, I noticed a bottle of wine that looked familiar. It’s called Optima, and is a Bordeaux blend made in South Africa. My good friend Eon took Vicki and me there on our wine tour a couple of years ago. Beautiful Cape Dutch farmhouse, and we drank their wines at a table overlooking their stunning gardens. It’s premium stuff, so I was surprised to see it in the boondocks. I asked the store owner how he came to have it, and he said it was delivered accidentally. He’s been trying to get rid of it for the past year, hence it’s low price of $150 (about £7.25). This bottle joins me for sundowners.

As I arrive at the waterhole, so does an elephant. Mesmerising. Shortly afterwards, a big herd of the buggers arrives. They stay for perhaps 45 minutes, and I gain an incredible insight into the family dynamics of these wonderful creatures. Infants are often tended to by older siblings. Mum and Dad secure the waterhole, then make sure the kids have a drink before they do. Shortly after this, Mum and Dad get frisky. Hilariously, as Dad’s giant, swinging cock is trying to, um - find the fairway - their youngest dives in and wraps his teeny truck around Dad’s todger, which rather dampens the mood. I’m spellbound watching these interactions, which are unlike any I’ve ever seen between elephant.

A few other animals visit the waterhole as the sun sets behind them. Some impala, a few wildebeest, and a family of giraffe. The sun’s well below the horizon now, and my camera is struggling to keep up. I head to the main lapa for my dinner reservation.

Dinner is slightly less chaotic, but not by much. Many of my fellow diners are harrumphing in their frustration. I just sit and read my book with a glass of wine - after all, TIA.

Some food eventually arrives, and it’s pretty good. Beef steak (though no one could tell me what cut). It’s tasty, and more tender than some of the supermarket cuts I’ve eaten in the past week. The wine is really good - a South African Pinotage. So good, in fact, that I decide I deserve another glass. The mossies are starting to bite a little, so I take my second glass back to my room for some chill time…Read more