The Brady Bunch

It seemed like a good idea at the time. I am not sure who suggested it first. The discussion had been floating around for some time - long before the coronavirus scare that has now enveloped us all.

"Let's have a reunion of our French riders", somebody said.

"Yes let's", someone else added.

And so it started.

Of course it's all very well to have an idea. It's another thing entirely to make it work, especially when all our participants are now confined to their homes in the pandemic lockdown.

Well we do all have some sort of Internet access, even if not all Internet access is created equal. We shouldn't have too much trouble setting up a multi-way video chat. Or should we ?

The process would have been simple if I had been setting up a chat room between 5 year kindergarten students, but I quickly discovered that it is much. much ,more difficult when the participants are all in their 60s and 70s.

To make sure that everything would go well I even tried contacting each person on the previous night to have a practise and to go through the procedures. That was a mistake. A big mistake, After over an hour spent with just one person, trying unsuccesfully to help her turn her webcam on, I probably should have just given up. Against my better judgement the torment went on for another hour. I finally managed to get her to turn her camera on, but somehow in the process she managed to turn her microphone off. It did not bode well for the upcoming reunion. I gave up and went to bed instead.

Much of this afternoon was spent continuing the self flagellation. I can tell you it was a (very) laborious process, but finally I thought we had reached the point where everyone knew what to do.

"Just wait for me to call you at 6.30 pm", I instructed them, thinking that the hardest part was over.

At the appointed hour I started sending out the digital invitations to the other 4 couples. Things appeared to be going smoothly when the first two couples joined without a problem. After a bit more fiddling we got the third couple on, but the fourth couple would not respond to my calls.

We eventually called them on the phone and discovered that they somehow they had forgotten the start time. "Do we have to turn our computer on ?", they asked. "Well it would help a lot if you did", I replied.

After a bit more fiddling we finally got everybody on line at the same time. Then everyone tried to talk at the same time. It sounded like the Tower of Babel. If that wasn't bad enough, people started randomly piushing buttons on their screens. "Would you all just leave the &&^%$# buttons alone", I yelled.

People's faces randomly appeared and disappeared for the next 30 minutes, while elderly people in various locations around Melbourne played with their controls. Just when we had it right, someone (ie David Yates) would decide to leave the chat and reenter again. If I had any hair, I would have pulled it out in frustration. It was going to be a very long night.

Somehow the dinner progressed and we started to make progress. People learned to take turns talking and to stop fiddling with every button on their screens. The final result was a screen with five windows, each one containing the faces of our dinner guests. I have to admit that the screen reminded me of the famous opening sequence to The Brady Bunch TV show.

After the teething problems were ironed out, we were able to share a lovely chat and a whole lot of laughs. It was not the same as being together in person, but overall it probably went a lot better than I had feared. We may even do it again sometime.Read more