We Embrace our Dark Sides

Monday September 5th
In Which we Embrace our Dark Sides

I am not sure who came up with the original idea, but I gather it was some sort of collaborative effort between Maggie and Pauline. "Let's spend a day riding scooters around Amsterdam", she suggested one night while I was putting this trip together. I have never been game to even hire a bicycle in Amsterdam, so why would anyone in their right mind even consider riding a motor scooter anywhere near the craziest city on earth, especially when none of us had any previous experience on any sort of motor bike?

On the other hand, we have proven numerous times in the past that we are always up for a challenge. After all it was the Ghostriders that climbed to Kopra Ridge in the Himalayas right in the middle of a blizzard and it was the Ghostriders that abseiled from Table Mountain in Capetown in the world's highest abseil. Prior experience counts for nothing when we all have enough copious amounts of foolhardiness to take on just about anything.

Besides I was already sick of the mad crowds in the centre of the city so it would be great to get away from the crush of tourists and selfie sticks, even if it is was at the peril of our own lives.

Eleven of us packed our helmets and walked to Central Station to catch the regional bus to Landsmeer. This is a small satellite town about 15 minutes from the centre of town. We purchased our tickets (so much easier than our own Myki muddle), boarded the modern bus and were soon deposited in the main street of this lovely little town. Once again the weather was absolutely perfect for this type of activity (blue skies and a temperature in the low 20s).

We found the office of the Scooter Experience and saw a yard packed with dozens of scooters. Maggie was pleased that most of them were red, because apparently everyone knows that the red ones go faster.

Leon, the owner, asked us if we had ever ridden motor scooters before. "Motor what ?" I replied. He looked a little anxious and went on to explain that we need some degree of skill to ride these contraptions. He did not seem impressed by the fact that we were cycling to Budapest and were thus incredible sporting specimens.

We were then forced to fill in pages of legal indemnity forms, none of which we bothered to read any part of. Leon then ushered us out into the yard and made each of us show what we could do. He seemed to be able to quickly decide who could be trusted with his scooters and who couldn't. Thus three riders had their scooters confiscated and were sent back to the bus station. That reduced our scooter peloton (scootaton?) to 8 riders. Not a promising start, especially when most of us couldn't remember even how he told us to start the engine.

Since Leon obviously took us for a bunch of deluded seniors he sent his assistant to tag along for the first few km, presumably to call for an ambulance in case of mishap. His apprehension was unfounded as we were soon flying along, pushing the scooters right past their red lines, performing wheel stands and generally hooning around. I quickly decided that this was fun and started challenging Douglas and David to sprints. Although we had been told that these machines were speed limited to 25 kph, we managed to coax them to almost double that.
I can now say that I know what it feels like to be an outlaw bikie.

It was a great feeling to charge along the road in a scooter pack, sowing fear into any pedaling cyclist in our way. When we rode into a small town I have to admit that I was tempted to do something really bad. Perhaps I would pull out a flower from someone's garden, or manically rev my 50 cc engine in the main street. I even considered getting a small tulip tattoo on my shoulder when I got back to Amsterdam. That would be sure to shock the kids !

About half way through the day's ride we arrived at the tourist town of Marken. This is a collection of brightly painted houses and a lovely boat harbour. It provided the perfect location for our lunch stop. We were also met by the three others who had been rejected by the scooter wallah. They had caught the bus to the same location and were able to share lunch with us.

After lunch we posed beside our machines for a group photo before roaring out of town with us much speed as we could muster. Ken took on the role of navigator and ride leader and it did not take him long to lose half of our riders on the outskirts of the next town. We doubled back and found them waiting for us on the correct path. We had some serious cruising to do in order to get the scooters back before closing time. Wind up the throttle, tuck in our arms and legs to reduce air resistance and enjoy the thrill of the high speed pursuit.

At times I almost reached 46 kph, it was exhilarating. Douglas was frustrated that his scooter was obviously rubbish and unable to match the sheer power of my machine. I could have told him that he should have got a red one.
Somehow we all managed to get back to the Scooter Experience office without further mischief or mishap and found Leon in the street anxiously looking out for his prodigal scooters. He counted them off and then let out a sigh of relief. "I never doubted you guys for a minute", he lied.

We caught the bus back to Amsterdam for our final night in this city before resuming our Odyssey to Budapest. Several of us had dropped in a load of dirty laundry at a nearby laundromat. When we collected the washing David was disgusted to find that half of his clothing had been ruined and were covered in huge black stains. It had cost him 12 Euros to have this damage done, so he could be excused for being furious.

Tomorrow morning we check out of the hotel and catch the train to Donaueschingen. The long train ride should give us a great chance to chat and sleep - sounds pretty good to me.Read more