The Hermitage

There is security at the entry to the Hermitage museum, like all museums around here. Our group of 12 doesn’t have any problems with it until the last guy, who is me. I do security all the time and generally get it right. Today I have pockets full of stuff, a communication device with an earphone, my passport holder strung underneath my jacket, and a camera in my hand. I leave the camera and walk through the metal detector. It rings, so I take out my cellphone, rings again and security Ivan suggests it’s my man purse underneath my jacket. I try to take it off but it is strung around my neck and gets caught in the earpiece I’m wearing. There is a huge line behind me and I can sense an angry mob mentality starting to grow. All the others of my group ahead are waiting and saying don’t worry, we’ve got all day. Ivan makes me move aside while others who are better prepared pass through. I wrestle with my jacket and headset and passport holder, finally getting it all piled in a heap beside the metal detector and walk through again. Beeeeep!!! I’ve taken off everything I can think of, but there is still a pen in my pocket. Out it comes and finally I pass through without alarm. My group is still saying, to take my time, but I can see they are clearly enjoying my predicament. I refill my pockets, don my jacket and headset and silently curse the pen in my pocket.Read more