Roncesvalles, Spain

Mantras
The greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.
Only a person who risks is truly free. -William Ward
Today I will ask forgiveness and extend forgiveness to all I owe during this journey.
I am able to transform pain into understanding and gratitude now and in the future.
I wake this morning and smile. I have 24 hours of life to explore. I am grateful. I will show compassion to myself and to others.
Don’t. Fucking. Fall.

Up, up, and above the clouds.
After being served coffee in a BOWL this morning, our US crew headed out to tackle the rest of the Pyrenees. We gained an extra pilgrim today, a man from Austin Texas about to enter law school. We welcomed him with open arms. We climbed 8 miles UP, then 2 down to our next stop at a Monastery for pelegrinos (pilgrims). The showers are lovely and for dinner we will have a communal meal.

I find it so conflicting that while peace and beauty surrounds me, my anxiety consumes me. I am hoping the anxiety will slowly dissipate as I allow room to consume the peacefulness.

My feet HURT. I have a caffeine headache. I really need to poop. Also, my heart is so entirely full of love and excitement I could nearly burst. Several times during the 10 miles today, I found myself just SMILING as I walked. In those moments of feeling present, I wished that it would never end….and then along comes ADHD and the anxiety again. It’s all a balance and while I don’t want to hang on to expectations, I do have a goal of practicing being present and at peace in larger gaps of time.

This is not my body. The behaviors I adapted to during covid have changed my body from athletic to rather juicy. I have been uncomfortable in my body for awhile now. During this walk, I’d like to become friends with this new body so that my mind and body will stop arguing with each other. Also I am so grateful that this body IS carrying me over the Pyrenees and forward throughout this walk, juicy parts and all.

Tonight I tried to eat a trout that was served with the tail and eyeballs still in tact. I tried. Sorry Spain, I just can’t eat something that appears to be judging me while I devour it’s meat. I politely covered his one good eye with a piece of crispy ham out of respect for the dead. RIP trout.

PS….I didn’t fucking fall!Read more