Five Years Time

Welcome one, welcome all, back to Mount Olympus!

And perhaps we are closer to the greek gods than we have ever been: today, we visited the Temple of Apollo!

I would like to open this blog by announcing that my father and eldest sister are monumental meanies.

Fine, they are TURDS.

They are telling me I an unfunny. So. I said I would block them on Find Penguins.

One cannot block another on Find Penguins. So I am simply exposing their flaws in the foreword.

Take that, meanies!!

(Coming back to the foreword to mention that dad USED MY JOKE IN HIS BLOG. After he TOLD ME IT WASN’T FUNNY. >:|. See if we’re still friends after that, dad. I expect an apollogy.)

Foreword over.

In Foreword the Second, I would like to note that I do, at times, take things out of context when writing the blog, either to make us seem more interesting and funny, or simply because I forget.

And so I must say that one anonymous reader and member of the trip has felt offended, nay, insulted, by my depiction.

Sorry mum!

Mum is not a bad mum, she did comfort Lily yesterday while she cried. Her funny comment was only afterwards when Lily started being rude because she was sad.

Foreword the Second, over!

Now, I must commence the day by saying, thanks Lily, for taking the bad bed.

I must continue by saying, curse you Lily, for giving me images of the movie that freaked you out last night.

I swear, I was traumatised, I could not close my eyes, and like, every time I moved I had to make sure I was under the covers completely, lest I be attackable.

I barely slept. I could only read ao3 to try and distract myself.

(Oh, and for Tim: ao3 is a website where one can read or write fan-fiction for free. I would say there are millions, in every fandom that exists. Some of them are really, really good and book length. So yeah.)

Anyway.

I woke up in the morning and it was EQUALLY TRAUMATISING since I had slept very little and dreamt even less so I was still in a state of fight or flight. And I woke to Lily standing over me, unmoving.

My heart has never beaten faster upon a wakeup.

But I decided to read peacefully to calm down and chill.

Which was immediately thwarted by the sook Lily who wheedled me into getting out of my comfy bed and made me go shopping with her and dad.

I did bagsie the front seat though. So hahaha take that, sook Lily. The two of us mused about the excessive speed of Greek drivers. However, Dad is also a speedy driver, we learnt. I feared for my life multiple times.

We did discuss the hilarious Coldplay concert moment: the CEO and HR of a company. If you know you know.

On the way back, Noah and the Whale’s Five Years Time came on. I immediately and profusely professed my dislike for this song (I have no real problem with it, but I said it once and now I have to stick to my guns.) however it is a nice, happy, chill song.

Upon our return, Tate had Korean lessons, and the rest of us sisters did sport (I was actually forced to partake; I didn’t plan on it) and then yoga (I didn’t really partake in that; Cassandra made us do ab exercices so I flopped onto the mat in retaliation).

Lily and I wriggled from a beetle afterwards. You see, a thick ahh beetle was flying around, and it kept coming near us, but we were sitting in chairs. Too lazy to get up, we simply wriggled at high speeds to stop it from landing on us.

We looked like fools; we laughed like kings.

Essentially, we chilled and did nothing until lunch, since Tate’s Korean ended rather late anyway. During this time, Dad had a laugh at me for my, shall I say, distinguished and refined language, such as “despise”. Gentle readers, am I at fault for using a level of speaking far superior to that of the common rabble?

I think not.

When dad came out for lunch, Lily very harshly said “wow, I do feel like you’ve gotten fatter!” Which is like, really mean and Dad took offence but we all laughed.

It was all in good fun, worry not.

After lunch, I showered which is really awkward because it is a bath shower, but handheld, and no shower curtain or anything. So you have to crouch in the bath.

It’s not fun, altogether.

*waves my hands like a conductor as you chorus*

After I showered, we got ready, out on sunscreen etc, and realised that all of us had white skirts!

Except dad. Really letting the side down, there.

As we got into the car, Five Years Time came on again, and I mentally declared it the song of the trip.

No one else knows this, they are finding out now.

Last year it was Dancing in the Moonlight, a timeless bop.

Anyway, Lily was quite outraged yesterday when I didn’t mention that she makes the “I think I’ve heard that petrol station before” joke about others, such as Shell. Everyone give it up for Lily!!

Anyway, we arrived at the Apollo temple and it was fairly cool, I do love ancient history, history and all that. It is perhaps the most fascinating thing.

While we were there, Lily and I theorised that, were we in a novel, one of us would step across the threshold of the archway and be transported back to the times when they built it and then we would be the one to overthrow the tyrant who actually was ruling at the time of it’s creation.

Anyway.

Afterwards, we decided to have a little stroll through town, through the “old market street” as I believe it was called. We saw some cool shops, the roads were all super quaint and greek looking and honestly, despite the heat and the thirst, a good time was had by all.

Oh, and we bought a magnet!

At some moment, Dad searched for mum worriedly. In his eyes was his fear of the future: he had lost his wife to the crowds, he was a single father, how would he raise four girls without their mother?

But before he could panic too much we all laughed at him because mum was like, right next to him.

Dad did not seem to see the funny side.

Also! It is worth noting that some things, thanks to their having been immortalised in the blog, have become a *thing*. Often, when someone can’t read a word properly, we say [blank] one, dyslexics nil. And also, when anything ends with cruise, we say “Tom Cruise’s [enter family member]”.

We’re timelessly funny like that.

Anyway, Allegra said “hey guys, it’s Tom Cruise’s crossword”. Perplexed as to why she didn’t pick a family member, I turned to look, and it was actually Tom Cruise’s face on a crossword.

A twist in our classic joke! Another classic joke was born!

But after perhaps an hour or so of wandering, I have no real concept of time and honestly I don’t think anyone does? In my mind it’s like temperature. Like how much is one degree??? Anyway. I’m getting off track. We began to get really really thirsty, so we stopped at the fiftieth place we passed (the other 49 were deigned not good enough by Lily), and we had a nice drink.

Hihihi, *giggles mischievously* I also had a bloody mary despite being under the legal drinking age! Hahaha those two months make all the difference hehehe I am a criminal!!

Teehee.

And then the time came to head home, and we wandered through some more backroads, in which Tate said she could picture James Bond driving through in a motorbike, which, fair. Accurate.

We passed a supermarket, and tried to go in, but sadly it was closed. And I was super thirsty, so the only thing that could’ve cheered me up was another supermarket. Nothing else.

Lily then proved me wrong by walking straight into a street-sign.

I laughed greatly; I am a sucker for stupid comedy. She blustered her way through a defence: “I didn’t walk into it, I just became aware of it in a brutal way”.

And then, in case that wasn’t good enough, we did see another supermarket!

Only good thing about parking so far away.

In the supermarket, the twins filmed a bunch of funny videos, and I was Spiderman: I could tell that Lily was going to knock something so I payed attention, and when a box of pastry fell off the shelf, I caught it at an angle without looking.

Yes I got pics. I accept applause.

Anyway, I also learned today something that actually really interested me, since I do love history and myths and stuff. Imma tell you.

Ok so it took place after Achilles died, and a woman had a son, Bophades, and she wanted him to be invincible, but without an obvious weakness, and so when she dipped him in the river she held him not by the ankle but by the groin, since it was always more protected in armor and such.

So yeah, I bet you’ve heard of Achilles heel but I bet you hadn’t heard of Bophades nuts.

Hihi!!!

I apologise to any sensitive eyes.

But yeah I told that joke to Lily, she found it funny and made me out it in the blog

Also special mention for when Allegra seemed to forget how to speak and said to me, and I quote, “there’s a bidjodl juice here, it’s spokin me”.

When we got home, we swam in the pool. Lily refused. Oh, she was also well unhappy with me when I wrote yesterday that she compromised her morals. Apparently she did not.

But I got a little chilly, so I did get out and Lily and I went upstairs. I accidentally flipped over her cap that contains rings. I know, how foolish of me, I should have *known* that the cap is not for wearing, but is a glorified jewellery box.

Or so Lily said.

And then she made me look all over for the one missing ring. One ring to rule them all.

Don’t know why I said that.

But then the two of us consumed a whole tin of dolmades by ourselves. We decided to blame the chickens, the flying chickens. At some point Lily decided it was reasonable to sing the suspicious Spiderman tune, the one that’s like dadadadaDAADaaaa, but as a chicken. So, BokabokaBAAKAAAA.

As Tate said, how much alcohol was in our Radlers?

Anyway, then mum and dad joined us outside to make dinner, a yummy greek salad (or, in this country, a yummy salad), and we switched the music.

We did eat some well spicy peppers from the garden, they were among the spiciest I have consumed and I am fairly chill (i) with high levels of spice.

And then poor Allegra touched her eye.

I think she’s still crying.

Anyway, we then made toasties as is the greek way, we had to plug in the machin to a wall, and I was appointed as the manager of this.

I called it Ruby’s Bonfire. I know, I know, hold your applause. I am soooo imaginative.

While eating, Lily had a coughing fit, and so drank Allegra’s drink, lemon juice. Allegra then said “ey, that’s my lemon” to which I said in an italian accent, “eya, that’s a my-a lemon”, and then dad just really surprised us all and said “eya, mamma mia” which was super random.

Allegra watched all this, unimpressed, and said “no, it’s still my lemon though.”

We laughed.

After dinner, we ended the day playing cards, the game Bullshit to be exact, and at one point, Tate said to our mother “you lied earlier you little twerp!”

Now if you know Tate you know it is impossible to take offence at this statement, Tate would be the last person to ever be rude to mum. The tone was lighthearted. Mum laughed.

But the rest of us did jump to mum’s defence.

And yeah, a fun time was had, good music was played (I did rap the whole of Guns and Ships flawlessly but no one was impressed), and then we all went to bed.

Well, I am still writing this blog at 12:21 and praying that my brain won’t terrorise me by conjuring horror images like it did last night.

Does anyone know why brains do that??

Anyway.

And so this is where we pause our trek up Mount Olympus, folks.
Bye family!!!Leia mais